Cash for Codgers!

Not getting the Mileage out of ole gramps that you used to?
Is it costing you time and money keeping this high maintenance human in running condition?
Vitamin Supplements, blood pressure meds. It all costs money.
So, how about saving you and I, and the government a little cash?
Have we got a deal for you!
Beginning now, through the end of the year all health-care providers will be offering a new government subsidized, Trade-in program. Cash for Codgers

It's easy!

First, fill out an online checklist, including information about his diet, prescriptions, and other medical supplies.
Submit the list, you will be e-mailed an estimate of his trade-in value based on money that would be saved over the next 5 years.

Then, Just bring Gramps to your local provider (tell him it's for his check-up).
Present a copy of your e-mail, Gramps will be shuffled to the "examination room".
Then you'll be handed a check! See, I told you it was easy!

So what happens to Gramps?
Well, we recommend that you find some way of saying goodbye without being too obvious.
Gramps will be sent to one of our examination rooms. Given a shot of "Solongacillin", where he'll rapidly drift off to sleep. You didn't have a problem giving it to Fluffy the cat did you?, Why worry about Grandpa!?
His remains will be reduced to ashes and spread over the fields of the corporate farm of your choice.
This means in a few months, you'll be able to open a box a cornflakes, and say Good Morning Grandpa!