Alcohol Quotes

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don't drink too much. Then again, don't drink too little. ~Herman "Jackrabbit" Smith-Johannsen

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. ~Ernest Hemingway

Draft beer, not people. ~Author Unknown

Wine is bottled poetry. ~Robert Louis Stevenson

This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought. ~Samuel Johnson

A man who was fond of wine was offered some grapes at dessert after dinner. "Much obliged," said he, pushing the plate aside, "I am not accustomed to take my wine in pills." ~Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. ~W.C. Fields

Here's to a long life and a merry one
A quick death and an easy one
A pretty girl and an honest one
A cold beer and another one!
~Author Unknown

Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver. ~Jack Handey

Woman first tempted man to eat; he took to drinking of his own accord. ~Four Hundred Laughs: Or, Fun Without Vulgarity, compiled and edited by John R. Kemble, 1902

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. ~Dave Barry

No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkeness - or so good as drink. ~Lord Chesterton

Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink. ~Author Unknown

Wine is sunlight, held together by water. ~Galileo

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her. ~W.C. Fields

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss. ~Robert Heinlein

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. ~Henny Youngman

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. ~Henny Youngman

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. ~Winston Churchill

No poems can please for long or live that are written by water-drinkers. ~Horace

Never cry over spilt milk. It could've been whiskey. ~"Pappy" Maverick, in Maverick