Financial advice needed for debtor single lady

IF you are taking charge of your life and willing to do the work. I sense that your friend is not one of them. She ran up debts when times were good and now has found herself buried. Unable to face her situation calmly, she is reacting to the forces that are pushing and pulling her in all directions. Ultimately she will expend her energy, her time, her money, and her health just trying to keep all those forces from overwhelming her.

Any solution will require her active participation. Frankly, any solution (second job, sell the house, cash in the 401k) is better than the current situation. Advice from numerous sources may confuse her and cause her to delay action our of fear of doing the "wrong" thing.

I advise that she do SOMETHING to relieve some part of her debt. I don't even care if it is not a good solution. As long as it is a net plus to her situation, it will help her build confidence to make other changes in the future.

Sometimes the last thing a person needs is specific advice. If they can gain some experience from dealing with their problems in the school of hard knocks, they will become more capable of dealing with future probems more appropriately.

Tell your lady friend to contact several people before surrendering assets because of some arbitrary formula. That is only for the mentally tough. It doesn't sound like your friend qualifies if she has allowed her co-dependent son to put them both in jeopardy.

Credit cards are often very easily disposed of. In fact many folks have gotten significant monetary awards in successful FDCPA suits. I have referred people to this firm http://www.jeffcanhelp.com/ Some were awarded $8,000 to $10,000 and others just had the credit card company extinguish the account with one phone call from the attorney.

Another strategy is to shift assets without loss or penalties into other vehicles that function independently of the IRS rules http://www.debt-tips.com/contact.html and support@debt-tips.com

Have her send her son a certified letter stating that unless he starts cleaning up his debts she will file fraud charges and he will go the way of Bernie Madoff - to jail. There is a technical term for kids like this; "mother fucker" - That's what he's done and he might as well deal with it now.

Then there is the organization I mentioned below
http://www.mickeyonbanking.org/contact.html that may be able to liquidate her mortgage completely and allow her to keep her home. They also extinguish credit card accounts through legal channels without spending thousands on lawyers.

I have personal experience with all of these references and if you send me an email trading_barracuda@comcast.net we can schedule a phone call.

Some posters below (JoeFL) have outlined action steps that are useful for this person to correct herself going forward. Those steps and free support can be found at Debtors Anonymous - just google it. Very powerful local support for extricating oneself and living free.

Finally Tony M, be ready to walk away from this case if there is no inclination to take action. Some will just waste your time and distract you from what you need to do.

Barack Obama, Salesman of the year for firearms, ammo, gold and silver .
~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~>> "Is Anybody Out There?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXaXV2OZmLw&eu

1, Food, Electricity and shelter.
2, Make a list of what she spends every month down to the last cent.
3, Cut unnecessary things she can live without (cableTV, video rental services, etc...)
4, She doesn't need to file for bankruptcy with that annual wage amount (65k).
5, If she pays more than 10% of her annual wage amount (65k) on the car, she needs to sell the car and get a cheaper one.
6, If she pays more than 22% of her annual wage amount (65k) on her house, she needs to sell the house and move to a cheaper apartment or a house that's for rent, if she can't sell the house, then, sometimes is best to walk away and minimize the loses.
7, Talk to the Credit Card Companies to see if a payment plan can be arrange, or an APR decrease.
8, If she can't negotiate with the CCC, and it's because she is still current, she will need to default and wait until they offer her a settlement, she probably can get a deal for $0.30 to $0.40 cents on the dollar if she can negotiate that.
9, School loan is doable if she drastically changes her behavior with money ( not that I know how she behaves with money, only going by what I read in the OP).
10, Don't contract any company that arranges repayments with the CCC and tells you they can reduce your debt if you pay them 2K or 3k, most of them don't work and she can do this herself.
11, She shouldn't take anything out her 401k, especially not for paying CC, she could pay them and end up in the same boat all over again and then will be 401kless and a debtor again. If she can't manage money well taking money from her retirement account will only worsen her situation, not to mention she could most likely be penalize for withdrawing from her 401k.

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I think there is more debt than the 20k in CC, car ($??) and 14k of school loans, obviously I'm excluding the house payment, but if those 3 are the main problem then she can deal with them with what she earns in 2 to 2 1/2 years if she is determine to get out of debt.

She is earning over 5k a month to be this broke and thinking of bankruptcy, I think that having a detail list of what she spends her money on she can then make adjustment to her life style.

I would first run this by Dave Ramsey. He's real good at helping folks get their priorities lined up, and then giving them steps to paying things down. Plus it's free.

Barack Obama, Salesman of the year for firearms, ammo, gold and silver .
~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~>> "Is Anybody Out There?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXaXV2OZmLw&eu

She may be able to get advice or counceling through Dave Ramsey's organization.

http://daveramsey.com/

He is dissolving mortgages like butter on a frying pan. He challenges documentation and gets judgements in favor of the homeowner.

http://www.mickeyonbanking.org/contact.html

He's from Harrisburg, PA. But he's in transit right now from Arizona to L.A. and then back to PA. His cell phone is listed at this link.
http://www.mickeyonbanking.org/contact.html
He has also established a support system - Citizens Reform Center
http://www.citizensreformcenter.com/legal-club/

Barack Obama, Salesman of the year for firearms, ammo, gold and silver .
~~ ~~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~>> "Is Anybody Out There?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXaXV2OZmLw&eu

Is a student loan charged off like other debt after 7 yrs. And when does the 7 yrs. bad credit start anyways? From the date the loan was taken out or after it's charged off?

Obama = O.ne B.ig A.ss M.istake A.merica

The kid can get two jobs at McD and pay his note.
I did not know that your wages can be attached by a student loan. My sister in law has 100k in student loans and takes time off here and there without paying.

of your friends situation. She must be numb from all the stress. The main problem sounds like she is not aware of Ron Paul's message. The reason I am saying that is, it sounds like she hasn't taken your advice so far. She is probably thinking bankruptcy how bad can that be. You sound like you have some good answers she just needs to listen to you, but I doubt if she will.