i

Do you want a pat on the back kind of answer or a full on rough critique?

I'd rather give the pat on the back answer. You're putting yourself out there, running for office and taking the message of liberty to the people. That's enough in my mind and I commend you.

If you are serious about winning state wide office then you need the rough critique. Just for starters, make sure your name and the office you are seeking is included in the title section of the heading. The blue sky graphic is ideal as an accent but it makes the most visible part of the page meaningless. The first page the user sees, before any scrolling, must give the viewer the visual impression of a real candidate, or at least very good ideas, not an also ran, someone worth listening to. The Q&A needs to be reworked. If you are going to keep it as a Q&A then at least make difference between the question and answer clear in the font.

Before you redo it, if you plan on doing that, decide what you want your candidacy to be. Are you a serious player in the race? Are you going to have a legitimate chance to win? If so, the site, and I'm assuming the campaign, has a long way to go. If you don't think you can seriously win but want to run as a means of educating people and learning how a campaign works, redo the site and focus on ideas through the lens of the Constitution, the oath and founders. Every piece of content on the site depends on that decision. Running as an education candidate isn't the worst of things, that's what Ron Paul did. You can learn the ropes, get your bearings with public speaking, meet people and build a base of activists for future campaigns (yours or just as likely someone else) and most importantly, spread the message of freedom. I would say the ideas race is the only one that has any hope for you. June is a long way off and the right ideas could spart a brushfire, but don't count on that and spend too much of your own money in a desperate attempt. Build the movement among veterans and set up future campaigns.

Read this before writing any copy.
http://www.mtholyoke.edu/acad/intrel/orwell46.htm
____________________________________________________
"Freedom suppressed and again regained bites with keener fangs than freedom never endangered." -- Cicero

support me and spread the word! Http://www.VoteBrianFrank.com

Your sentence:

I am running for Adjutant General mainly as a way to bring our National Guard home, here in South Carolina
where they belong in case of emergencies or disasters, we can't depend on FEMA or the Federal Government
to "save us!"

should be broken down into two sentences...

I am running for Adjutant General mainly as a way to bring our National Guard home, here in South Carolina
where they belong. In case of emergencies or disasters, we can't depend on FEMA or the Federal Government
to "save us!"

Your sentence;

I have a good knowledge of the Constitution and and its all about Restoring our Republic.
I was in not only the regular Army, but National Guard and Army Reserves also. I went to school for Business Management. When you combine the two, I have the strengths to be South Carolina's next Adjutant General.

might be,

I have thorough knowledge of the Constitution and can utilize this understanding of the Law of the Land in Restoring our Republic. I was not only in the regular Amry, but the National Guard and Army Reserves. Combining my military experience with my Business Management school I possess the qualities to become South Carolina's next Adjutant General.

Your sentence: I believe we have a serious problem in South Carolina
with invasion, and I plan on bringing our troops home to restore our state sovereignty, we all know the Federal Government isn't doing anything about it.

Invasion by whom?

and maybe... "restore state sovereignty. I can do what the Federal Government won't."

your sentence;

Many people are sick and tired about the endless wars, Republicans and Democrats. People are coming around to understand where Ron Paul is coming from, the Constitution. Art. 1 sec 8 clearly states that Congress has the only power to declare war.

might be;

Many people are sick and tired of the endless wars that neither Republicans or Democrats seem to want to end. People are coming around to understand Ron Paul's Constitutional position pertaining to Article 1 Sec. 8 which states that only Congress can "declare" war and how this clearly was not adhered to.

(someone might be able to word that one better)

your sentence;

Oversees the SC Army National Guard, the SC Air National Guard and State Operations which includes details on operations, leadership, disaster services, and education.

might be,

The Adjutant General oversees the SC ARmy National Guard, the SC Air National Guard and State Operations which include details of leadership, disaster services, education and various operations.

your sentence;

Contributors would come out of the woodwork to help fund my campaign because South Carolina is the only state that Adjutant General is an elected position by the people. I want South Carolina to be the first state to bring our National Guard back home where they belong. Around $50,000.

might be;

I want South Carolina to be the first state to bring our National Guard back home to their loved ones where they belong. Naturally in this effort to accomplish this goal in securing an elected position, I'll need funding to meet and greet as many individuals as possible to tell my story. I estimate this need to cover my expenses to be approximately $50,000 and I only can achieve this noble goal with the help of the good citizens of South Carolina. With your help, we can bring our sons and daughers, fathers and mothers back home.

Please consider donating by clicking on the "donation" tab at the top of this page.

Thank you!

Good luck Brian Frank!

Doug Digger Eberhardt

http://fedupbook.com/blog

on the img tag for your gif set the width and height props differently.

img width="156" height="185"

it is the 240 value that streches your image.

I like that. Found an error tho in #2 (two ands)

knowledge of the Constitution and and its all about Restoring

we are the Remnant

7. What political party (if any) are you running for public office through?

It's a tough one these days.

If only that guy in New York had won as a Conservative Party candidate.

Do you have to choose a party affiliation or can you just not specify?

I would support any liberty candidate no matter what they run as, though democrat would seem a most unlikely a choice for you!

BEST WISHES and go get 'em!!!

y

"Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous."
Confucius