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Libertarian Dictionary

In the spirit of Ambrose Bierce's Devil's Dictionary I would like offer my poor imitation and see what evreyone can come up with also.

Here are some from Ambrose himself-

Virtues, n. pl. Certain abstentions

Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

Quotation, n. The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. The words erroneously repeated

Liberty, n. One of imagination's most precious possessions

Justice, n. A commodity which in a more or less adulterated condition the State sells to the citizen as a reward for his allegiance, taxes and personal service.

Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility

Now my poor imitation-

Income Tax-Currently a system of "voluntary compliance" where the citizens pay their patriotic duty for the State's favors and protection.

DEA-Government employees responsible for ridding the world of voluntary drug use. Occassionally seen to sell and use drugs themselves.

Federal Reserve-Tyrannical tool of totalitarianism. Thought to "stabalize" prices and unemployment. WTH?

Ray Kurzweil-Scientist who wants to live in a computer for enternity.Believed by Alex Jones to be evil mastermind ala Brave New World, The Matrix.

President of the United States-Believed to be busy "running the country." Mostly running it into a hyperinfationary hellhole.

World Government-Evil plot where small group becomes immortal and kills rest of species by endless feeding of Television and TV Dinners, chem trails and fluoride.

Sarah Palin-Attractive woman thought be the second coming of the devil by liberals, godsend by conservatives.

Libertarian-Classical liberal or tolerant conservative.

Evolution-Satanic idea used to explain fighting over resources, status, power and reproduction.

Psychiatry-Pseudoscience used to rid the world of responsibility.

Leap of Free Will-Similar to the "leap of faith."

lol ok sounds authoratative and cynical and probably stupid Anyone want to add their own defintions?
FCC, Janet Napolitano, FOX news, NBA....anything really if you can make it wise and funny the better.



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sustainability - expanding

sustainability - expanding the military-industrial complex into industries that consume subsidized corn

community - two or more nation-states acting in concert to subvert another nation-state

election - a sporting event where spectators root for favorite catchphrases

Congress - a whorehouse in the District of Columbia, known esp. for its reputation to turn johns into whores and whores into johns

AT&T - a subsidiary of the National Security Agency (NSA)

Comcast - see entry, AT&T

Post-It - legal document used by the Federal Bureau of Investigation to authorize wiretapping of U.S. citizens

CIA - Hollywood studio most notable for its production of 'the bin Laden' series

citizen - term of endearment for automatons raised mainly on corn

The American People - contemporary North American form of the Royal 'We'; usage reserved to members of Congress

Supreme Court - nonet panel of morticians who embalm dead letters for the purpose of restoring some semblence of life

capitalism - perjorative term often encouraged over the more accurate 'mercantalism'

Abraham Lincoln - reincarnation of the god Zeus

legislation - codification of perdition

John Maynard Keynes - seminal author whose work The General Theory is a brilliant synthesis of mysticism and sophism; widely cited as the reason reality is wrong.

Thank you, thewhitewhale

That was great.

"Hence, naturally enough, my symbol for Hell is something like the bureaucracy of a police state or the office of a thoroughly nasty business concern." ~~C.S. Lewis
Love won! Deliverance from Tyranny is on the way! Col. 2:13-15