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A Good Laugh at Lawyers???

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. (True story)!

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'

She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, ' Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

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Ralph, Do you have a source,


Do you have a source, citation, or court record number to go with this story? If so please forward it to me. I collect this type jokes. I am preparing to start a local www.jurisdictionary.com class. I like getting under judge's skin and reminding them that we the people are the court, not the pompus ass dressed in drag and seated on a peddlestool!

YOUR servant for freedom, Clay Carey

The 'real' Ralph Waldo Emerson has said,

"To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded."

Thanks "Nish"

What do you mean the "real" RW? You don't think we have wireless tech up here? : )

I'm sorry Ralph : )

In many ways you share those same characteristics as the historic figure!

I really enjoyed your thread!

Did you know that Emerson traveled the world

giving lectures of his essays (almost verbatim)! Have you ever noticed the depth of thought and vocabulary that not only he but his audience had in common. Those were some very "astute" times and people.

It really make one scoff at the "trivial" nature of modern society. Trying to find someone to carry on an intelligent conversation with, is one of the reason's I enjoy the DP!

I am inspired by the enlightenment period up to the 20th century

It seems after about 1925 something had gone astray.

Was it trauma from WWI that seemed to destroy a certain sense of civility? Perhaps. It seemed replaced by cynicism, despair and even 'longing' for something sound to an extent. We see it in the literature from those times and after WW2. Fitzgerald, Hemmingway, Vonnegut, etc.

But today the vulgarity and extreme violence in film and books resemble desperation.

In times to come I am sure we may well see a renaissance of all that has been longed for.

When that time comes we will know we paid our karma to the uttermost farthing.

Murray Rothbard says 1896

Page 178


Free includes debt-free!

That is an interesting observation.

Of course the FED was established in 1913, and the widespread notion of usury could have been a cause, underlying force and turming point in. Soon after that all sorts of bad things started to happen including WWI.

Eustace Mullins claims one of the primary motivations the bankers had behind the creation of the FED and the income tax, was to siphon off money from the American people in order to finance the war machines of Europe. Considering the wars that followed, there seems to be some logic in that reasoning.

BTW - Are you familiar with the Three World Ages as described in the Bible?

BMWJIM's picture

Thank you Ralph Waldo. I needed

this at this time. I'm sure you can tell by my earlier post. I promise now to be not so offensive. A smile is worth more than any anger an individual can have.

Thank you so much,


1976-1982 USMC, Having my hands in the soil keeps me from soiling my hands on useless politicians.


The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse........ You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians -- it creates a hostile work environment.

good one


Good point. :)


"An economy built on fiat money is a society on its way to ashes."

now THAT'S funny!


Now that is just

hilarious and shows how valuable 'communities' are.

I think that could be called jury nullification

of the highest order!

I didn't think of that!


If I disappear from a discussion please forgive me. My 24-7 business requires me to split mid-sentence to serve them. I am not ducking out, I will be back later to catch up.

She was the judge, jury and executioner!


Ha! Ha! Sounds like something my Mom

would have said!! Thanks for the laugh!!

"I think we are living in a world of lies: lies that don't even know they are lies, because they are the children and grandchildren of lies." ~ Chris Floyd

That's great!

I love jokes that make lawyers look bad,You didn't get this from work did you?

If I disappear from a discussion please forgive me. My 24-7 business requires me to split mid-sentence to serve them. I am not ducking out, I will be back later to catch up.

No but I'm from Mississippi

and it sounds so true. Gossip is the number one sport, past time and religion in the South. That's the reason the judge didn't want her answering any more questions!

I grew up like that too

There was even one lady in town that eavesdropped on all phone calls,In those days we had party lines,everyone had a different ring.like one short two logs Etc.she would pick up the phone and listen to every call.
She was finally busted because one person called another to say that his house was on fire about 10 miles down the road.She jumped in her car and ran down to see,the whole town was in on it and was watching and laughed for weeks.

If I disappear from a discussion please forgive me. My 24-7 business requires me to split mid-sentence to serve them. I am not ducking out, I will be back later to catch up.

That is a GOOOD ONE!

Love it! We had one that would listen in and forget she was uninvited and then break into the conversation to correct someone!


Busted!Some people just have to correct others,Kind of like here.

If I disappear from a discussion please forgive me. My 24-7 business requires me to split mid-sentence to serve them. I am not ducking out, I will be back later to catch up.




Thanks :)

good one.

good one.

The slogan press on has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race. No person was ever honored for what he received. Honor has been the reward for what he gave.

- Calvin Coolidge

LOL be careful what you ask

LOL be careful what you ask for!

End The Fat
70 pounds lost and counting! Get in shape for the revolution!

Get Prepared!



Thomas Jefferson: “Indeed, I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just, that His justice cannot sleep forever."

Viva La Revolucion!

That's funny.


You can't make that kind of stuff up!