My Iowa letter-please critique

Not that I plan on changing any more. I've had about 10 revisions! As always, it shows people do care here. What a great crew we have here....even with the fighting. If it was sterile all the time, it would be boring and less productive, I believe.

You need to reduce the size of this letter by about 50 percent. Set priorities and then make the cuts. People are more likely to read a short letter.

Handwrite this letter and then make copies to sendout. Do not send a typed letter. Let the people see you handwritting. Print neat and then mail.

Remove this:
self-educated in Austrian economic theory and

Change to:
non-interventionist roots

Change:
By the way, most think the “Fed” is part of the government, but it is actually an outside banking group with no Constitutional authority to print “our” money.

to

The Federal Reserve is no more Federal than Federal Express. The Federal Reserve is a private bank responsible to its shareholders not we the people.

Change:
He voted against the Iraq war from the beginning and as president will immediately bring the troops home.

Change:
Dr. Paul get more donations from active duty military than any other candidate.

Sums it up for me! Very direct and to the point! Informative, covers the most important issues. I have copied it and am e-mailing it to all in my address book!

Thank you for the good work!

PS. You might mention the website and a few links also!

It's almost like cheating with all of this help! I can live with that. And yes, my original thought was to have a few sentences and let the slim-jim do the talking. I realized that it just was not going to explain some of the points I thought were important. Soooooo, a little long, but I am reasonably happy with the finished product. If the readers don't read it, well, there loss. You can only condense Ron so much.

Thanks again to all for you thoughtful assistance.

Is it a go?

But it is you speaking from your heart....that is all that counts.

Best,

T

"...a $100,000 ad paid by an individual, and now a $400,000 blimp paid for by individuals from the grass roots."

I think the right amounts are: $85K ad, I'd just say "a grassroots funded blimp to get out the message of Dr. Paul"... or something like that...

My wife and I went through it, liked it, and have the following three corrections:

Sentence on "entangling alliances" - need to delete "alliances with."

Sentence on winning almost every on-line poll, missing a "he" between "time," and "has."

Sentence on Ron Paul being the best chance we have to restore America, you need to delete "by a" and just have "far and away."

Thank you for your labor. May it bear fruit for us all.

Roy Huddle

Any "minor" changes you'd suggest?

I still need to write more letters - you have some great ideas.

You might take the fourth paragraph and break it up into issues - with bullets - and the issue (Social Security, Immigration) in bold. That way if they do not want to read the letter the issues should get their attention.

I also like to print out one of Dr. Paul's articles and include it with the letter. He has so many great articles.

Nice.

I sent mine out a few weeks ago. 30 of them...

I used Ronald Reagan stamps... I'm hoping it helps to get my point across to Republican voters.

----
Registered Republican
Federalist Society Member
REAL Conservative for Ron Paul

Made many changes...thanks to all for your help. I had to draw the line somewhere to keep it "my" letter.

Thoughts are welcome.....not sure if changes are at this point as I'll never get it out!

Thanks

Thanks for all of your help, but at a certain point, I just have to go with what I feel will work and is important. Further comments are welcome, but don't know that will change from here.

A fellow Floridian!

You've produced a well written letter, but I'm left wondering: what issues do Rep. Iowans care about most of all? I've read that it's religion, pro-war, and illegal immigration.

I'd "tone down" a lot of this message, then, to be more appealing to a wider audience. What I mean is that it takes a very long time to understand the complexities of some of Ron Paul's issues. I consider myself extremely open mineded, and it took me a month for some issues. We don't have that long. For instance, I'd take out most of the stuff on the Fed and replace it with "Ron Paul is the only candidate who wants to end the inflation tax." That's short and sweet and sure to get the recipient thinking.

Ron Paul isn't a minister, but you can refer to his speeches of his savior. You can play up his "married 50 years to the same woman" and strong family ties as well (children, grandchildren, great grandchild).

Since so many are so pro-war, it might be better to say "Ron Paul is strong on stopping illegal immigration. He wants to bring our border patrol gaurds back from Iraq to protect our borders at home." You kind of get the best of both worlds (getting anti-war guy interested but not offending pro-war guy).

They can see his complete stance when they do more research. If they don't do more research and just vote based on your letter, then even better!

I'm just "talking" out loud, now, but can we use "Merry Christmas" instead of "Happy Holidays" for Iowans? That might go over better with the religious.

I just created a flyer to hand out to local residents in Broward. If you'd like to use anything and/or critique me, please do:

http://files.meetup.com/823679/Broward%20Gazette%20Issue%201...

Don't take this the wrong way, but stating you are a single male may detract from your opening point on how Paul cured your apathy, and also make it easier for the recipient to stereotype you. Trim the sentence and see how it grabs the reader's attention:

I am 46 years old and have not voted in fifteen years.