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The Onion: Bald Eagle Tired Of Everyone Just Assuming It Supports War

THE OREGON WILDERNESS — Frustrated by the widely held assumption that he unequivocally endorses the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, a bald eagle said Monday that his thoughts on the conflicts were far more nuanced than many Americans might expect.

Speaking to reporters from his nest in the upper branches of a 175-foot ponderosa pine tree, the eagle explained that each member of his species was different and none should be taken for granted as a lockstep supporter of American military policy.

"I think World War II was justified, and I got behind the first Gulf War [in 1990]," said the bird, who has served as the national symbol of the United States since 1782. "But the recent war in Iraq, with its shifting rationale and poor planning, was clearly a huge mistake. Personally, I believe that these crucial, life-and-death matters deserve more honest and less politicized discussion than they get."

"I'm not a hawk or a dove," he added. "I'm an eagle."

Gotta see the rest of it...continue:



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OMG

made my morning.

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Love won! Deliverance from Tyranny is on the way! Col. 2:13-15

Michael Nystrom's picture

Hilarious. Thanks!

Hilarious. Thanks!

He's the man.

Good find!

excerpt~

"You see, these issues are not so cut and dried," continued the Haliaeetus leucocephalus specimen. "And yet, every time I try to explain myself from atop a flag pole or the middle of a baseball field, no one wants to listen. They just cheer and chant 'U.S.A.! U.S.A! U.S.A.!'"

"I think we are living in a world of lies: lies that don't even know they are lies, because they are the children and grandchildren of lies." ~ Chris Floyd

Someone needs to sit down and introduce this bird to:

Ron Paul

For Freedom!
The World is my country, all mankind is my brethren, to do good is my religion.