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U.S. Economy Grinds To Halt As Nation Realizes Money Just A Symbolic, Mutually Shared Illusion (Humor)

WASHINGTON—The U.S. economy ceased to function this week after unexpected existential remarks by Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke shocked Americans into realizing that money is, in fact, just a meaningless and intangible social construct.

Calling it "basically no more than five rectangular strips of paper," Fed chairman Ben Bernanke illustrates how much "$200" is actually worth.
What began as a routine report before the Senate Finance Committee Tuesday ended with Bernanke passionately disavowing the entire concept of currency, and negating in an instant the very foundation of the world's largest economy.

"Though raising interest rates is unlikely at the moment, the Fed will of course act appropriately if we…if we…" said Bernanke, who then paused for a moment, looked down at his prepared statement, and shook his head in utter disbelief. "You know what? It doesn't matter. None of this—this so-called 'money'—really matters at all."

"It's just an illusion," a wide-eyed Bernanke added as he removed bills from his wallet and slowly spread them out before him. "Just look at it: Meaningless pieces of paper with numbers printed on them. Worthless."

Read the rest at: The Oninon

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Onion cracks again, good

Onion cracks again, good stuff.

10-15 million more voters need to believe in non-interventionism (liberty) at home and abroad to change America. Minds changed on Syria. Minds changing on privacy. "Printing money" is part of the dialogue. Win minds through focus, strategy.

Actually, although it's a funny piece, it is fatual.

When I finally woke up at the age of 40, 23 years ago, this is one of the things that I had realized was just an illusion. I mean, think about it. If you were not forced at gunpoint to use the FED crap posing as money, would you?

At the age of 63, I am considered by family members and all acquaintances as an oddball and crackpot. I woke up to the fact that I had been lied to (about everything) my entire life. Fifteen years ago, I started cursing and arguing with the TV every time I heard a lie. It got so bad that I finally had to throw my TV and radio out.

I am so fortunate. Even my wonderful wife (from the Philippines), actually "gets it". Every bit of bad news we read, my wife remarks that it is all crazy because it is planned to be that way.

It's all illusion, people. Love is the ONLY truth.

“Disobedience is the true foundation of liberty. The obedient must be slaves.”― Henry David Thoreau


Every thing said in the article is true, but the events didn't happen (yet - prolly never.) That's the great thing about the article, it's true!

Thank you! Be good.


Amazingly prescient and eirily getting more and more real


Thomas Jefferson: “Indeed, I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just, that His justice cannot sleep forever."

Viva La Revolucion!

Michael Nystrom's picture

Ha ha ha


All art is only done by the individual. The individual is all you ever have, and all schools only serve to classify their members as failures. E.H.


TY for the href edit. Would have done it myself, but it tends to alter them.