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Mark Twain Autobiography Available 100 Years Late. Wrote This One Myself. Procrastinated.

----------------------- Update -----------------------

"Whenever a Uniform and a De Luxe can be marketed, that's the time to do it; a delay of a year can be fatal, for a literary reputation is a most frail thing -- any trifling accident can kill it; and its market along with it."
- Samuel Clemens to Henry H. Rogers, 31 May 1898

Born November 30, 1835. Died April 21, 1910 (age 74) Redding, Connecticut, U.S. Resting place, Halley's Comet, 1835 - 1910.
Pen name: Mark Twain
--------------------- End Update ---------------------

Autobiographies often published before respectful death. I would have none of it. Not officially complete. Many a man exaggerated facts about my demise. The first liar doesn't stand a chance.

I instructed my estate to wait 100 years. Well the time has come and it is now published. Now there are may published over the years, since my passing. The unusual thing about this particular one, among all the others, is that I wrote it myself.

Here is the newspaper announcement:
http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/news/a...

Skip me smoking my pipe around the outside of my new home. Go right to visiting my daughters, Clara & Jean in their Sunday best. Pay no attention to me.

Mark Twain at Stormfield, 1909 (Edison film) New home at Redding, Connecticut
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leYj--P4CgQ#t=00m50s

Notice the “#t=00m50s” on the end of the Universal Resource Locater (URL)? That link will take you 00 minutes and 50 seconds into Edison's Silver Screen. Linking to a particular minute and second can get you over my smoking. My dear Annt Mary never got over it.

Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) Speaks (with music)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt64F_ZYCmE&NR=1#t=00m01s

Sound & Music ("Sound of Music," distant cousin)... Not my actual voice, but close enough to fool me.

"... Now I do smoke a cigar from time to time... since like the government, I prefer to chew on something smaller and weaker than I am."

Mark Twain (Short Essays)

Let me share with you some of my short essays about nation building, monopolies, money and enslaving. Many of the problems you are now solving, had me concerned in my day.

  • Archimedes - Slaves ought to think they were free
  • Twain on Cecil Rhodes - as a land monopolizing enslave...
  • Address to Congress on Copyrights

http://www.hartford-hwp.com/archives/25/018.html

My more familiar works

http://www.mtwain.com/ Free Mark Twain books online w/o ads
http://www.twainquotes.com/ Near as I remember
http://librivox.org/ Free public domain audio books

Sincerely,



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Mark Twain Autobiography, 2010... Synopsis

'Mark Twain's daughter Susy wrote: "Papa... doesn't like to go to church at all, why I never understood, until just now, he told us the other day that he couldn't bear to hear any one talk but himself, but that he could listen to himself talk for hours without getting tired, of course he said this in joke, but I've no dought [sic] it was founded on truth."—from the book
Here is one of the great autobiographies of the English language, exuberant, wonderfully contemporary in spirit, by a man twice as large as life who—he said so himself—had no trouble remembering everything that had ever happened to him and a lot of things besides.
Nothing ever happened to Mark Twain in a small way. His adventures were invariably fraught with drama. Success and failure for him were equally spectacular. And so he roared down the years, feuding with publishers, being a sucker for inventors, always learning wisdom at the point of ruin, and always relishing the absurd spectacle of...'

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/The-Autobiography-of-Mark-T...

The Autobiography of Mark Twain - CD Version.

Pub. Date: November 2010
Publisher: Blackstone Audio, Inc.
Format: Compact Disc , 16pp
(containing several thousand pages)
Sales Rank: 728,886
ISBN-13: 9781441744647
ISBN: 1441744649
Edition Description: Unabridged (but Expurgated)

Disclaimer: Mark Twain (1835-1910-To be continued) is unlicensed. His river pilot's license went delinquent in 1862. Caution advised. Daily Paul

Deemed to Pass: Philander Knox

I'm guessing Philander Knox was the schoolyard Bully for you at oxford. Our very own Robert Gibbs.

Deemed to Pass: Illegal as a banker's brew.

Didn't really attend Oxford. Received an Honorary Degree, 1907.

Perhaps they wished to better their reputation. Here are pictographs from my visit. Embarrassing, considering my iconoclastic views & their iconic stature.

Mark Twain, Oxford Cap & Gown, Honorary Doctorate, 1907
http://bancroft.berkeley.edu//Exhibits/MTP/Images/mt33.jpg
http://bancroft.berkeley.edu/Exhibits/MTP/england.html

Answering newspaper reporters how I enjoyed my trip to Oxford, 1907:

"Splendidly. I put in two hours a day dictating my autobiography, but I don't want it published until after I am dead. And I want to be thoroughly dead when it is published. No rumors, but really dead. I have made it caustic, fiendish, and as devilish as I possible can. It might be what you call a sensation, for I have spared no one. It will occupy many volumes, and I will go right on writing until I am called to the angels and receive a harp.

"The story of my life will make certain people sit up and take notice, but I will use my influence not to have it published until the children of some of those mentioned in it are dead. I tell you it will be something awful. It will be what you might call good reading."

http://www.twainquotes.com/19070609.html

Wilmot, Alta Eliza - portrait of Mark Twain, circa 1907
http://american-miniatures20c.blogspot.com/2006/04/wilmot-e-...

Disclaimer: Mark Twain (1835-1910-To be continued) is unlicensed. His river pilot's license went delinquent in 1862. Caution advised. Daily Paul

"Reports of my demise are an exaggeration."

Please write your autobiography early; after you die, it may well take longer to get things you want done.

One of the many versions of my life written by a stranger...
http://www.pbs.org/wnet/americannovel/timeline/twain.html

Free access to my writings...
http://www.mtwain.com/

Sincerely,

Disclaimer: Mark Twain (1835-1910-To be continued) is unlicensed. His river pilot's license went delinquent in 1862. Caution advised. Daily Paul

Joη's picture

There's a move to update Huck Finn, did you hear?

To the "Robotic Edition":
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/dianidevine/replacing-th...

"You underestimate the character of man." | "So be off now, and set about it." | Up for a game?

Heard about "change/n's/robot/* *" &" art" from you.

Most impressed they are drawing up nice sketches to make their updates fit in better. They are correct in their view to consider all angles. There is no easy solution.
Since I am busy with other appointments, I will trust their judgment. I agree with them, that no matter the word, times change.

Imagining how it will turn out, I admire the author's approach for studying all angles & finding the average. They will redoubtably have a lot of fun with editing.

Thank you for bringing it to my attention. As for how I feel about them authors rewriting for children's eyes... we part ways. I never meant for "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" to be placed on library shelves where children might find them. No sir, that book is written for adults.

I posted you & the others here @ DailyPaul. You will find it on your shelves.

Look for: "by Mark Twain" librarian New York Finn
Here, I found it here:
Legal Fiction
(^^^ Please read this one page letter to the NY City Librarian before continuing.)

(^^^ Following directions?)

You see, one of the New York City Librarian's, bless her heart, wrote me personally on a subject inquiry such as yours... about Huck's book. Well, Jon, when you find it on your shelves, you make sure to keep things related to Huckleberry Finn up high where the kids cannot reach nor see. And keep it away from the kid's section entirely, for kid sections often have an unexpurgated bible. It is too great a divide.

Our kids take an oath, "United we stand. Divided we fall." I am concerned for their honor. And, our Nation as a whole. Our future rids on your task... that our kids may honor their oath.

This all leads me back to pleading you to attend to your particularly delicate task.

I will appreciate your attention on this matter. Any questions when I am not around, you may contact Liberty_Belle. She is aware of my concerns, & will guide you as necessary. You have helped me in the past, & I am shy to impose too much.

Thank you very much. Regards,

Disclaimer: Mark Twain (1835-1910-To be continued) is unlicensed. His river pilot's license went delinquent in 1862. Caution advised. Daily Paul

Joη's picture

ah

you were referring to this
http://dailypaul.com/146670/the-great-deception?comments_per...
But it was past comment #90, the max I see on a page @ a time, so I was fumbling around looking for what could possibly be related to this over on that murky subject.

To prevent that, notice the extra parameter I put in there, "?comments_per_page=9999" to always show all comments to guarantee scrolling to the right one. I should really find a work around for that.

As for your more delicately made point, if it isn't keeping especially mythical readings of history off main topics, I am characteristically oblivious and will confer with the pretty instrument.

"You underestimate the character of man." | "So be off now, and set about it." | Up for a game?

Most helpful. "page=9999 show all comments"

To: Jon

Subject: Wonder of DailyPaul

I use "300" often when I am digging, because it is presented as a "max" on the "comments" intro."

This is one more handy thing I have learned from you. Thank you.

By the way, wonderful improvement you create.

Some minor clean-up of the DailyPaul:

  • DailyPaul favorites (Best/Worse of DailyPaul (see: Best/Worse of CraigsList)
  • DailyPaul links
  • DailPaul Ad links (would be nice for advertisers.
  • DailyPaul "Topic" classification dropbox "-Economy" needs not "Negative" a " - " sentiment or character. If we must use a character, I suggest, "None" or if you must, " + ". That way keyboarding and " E " selects "Economy". Nothing negative, hopefully.
  • DailyPaul Bread (essential tip on a good honest well being: nutrition; absence of cancers; absence of vaccines; raw food; local food markets)

Again, thank you. Sorry for the trouble.

Regards,

Disclaimer: Mark Twain (1835-1910-To be continued) is unlicensed. His river pilot's license went delinquent in 1862. Caution advised. Daily Paul

Reports of bumping your own thread are not.

Old news

That was very interesting about

"Land Monopoly" it would make a great thread for discussion, there are some very interesting points.
I need to look into more of his writings, it seems that I have missed a great deal of his work.

"We can see with our eyes, hear with our ears and feel with our touch, but we understand with our hearts."

Thanks. Have Juice break and read one page essays.

Your posts supported by art and photographs are changing the world for the better.

Carry on...

Sincerely,

Mark Twain

Famous Quotes By Author:
http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/

Disclaimer: Mark Twain (1835-1910-To be continued) is unlicensed. His river pilot's license went delinquent in 1862. Caution advised. Daily Paul

Thanks, for posting this.

I am sure this is going to be a great read. We sure could use more people like Mark Twain. Will Rodgers was another good orator.

"We can see with our eyes, hear with our ears and feel with our touch, but we understand with our hearts."

Your Welcome . Yes, Mark Twain and Will Rogers Agree w/ Ron Paul

Generally speaking, just as when Dr Ron Paul shakes his head and laments, "Makes no sense." We are revealing to others what truly, "Makes no sense."

Will Rogers was often in front of crowds saying, "Hey, I don't make this stuff up! It is right here in this newspaper." Then he holding up the newspaper, he would read a headline. Before he could read a paragraph, the bursts of laughter overwhelmed the place. Laughter everywhere.

I did much the same thing. Only I started in the 1850s and I made up my own news. Often, the crowd nudged each-other and chuckled.

Now, just image how Will Rogers and Mark Twain would laugh as Ron Paul is telling you the news.

"Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place."

Sincerely,

Mark Twain

Disclaimer: Mark Twain (1835-1910-To be continued) is unlicensed. His river pilot's license went delinquent in 1862. Caution advised. Daily Paul

reedr3v's picture

bump

for humor, we do indeed need as much as we can scrape together in these lean times.

Many are showing agreement on your point.

Thank you.

Disclaimer: Mark Twain (1835-1910-To be continued) is unlicensed. His river pilot's license went delinquent in 1862. Caution advised. Daily Paul

bump

good posts deserve bumps.

LL on Twitter: http://twitter.com/LibertyPoet
sometimes LL can suck & sometimes LL rocks!
http://www.dailypaul.com/203008/south-carolina-battle-of-cow...
Love won! Deliverance from Tyranny is on the way! Col. 2:13-15

bump

for our Mark Twain

Napolitano: "We need Ron Paul now!"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3k3JNRTVI0Q

Thank you. I will be Roughing It in June. Hear from you later.

Freiheit,

Look forward to reading your posts. It may be fine and good folks argue with you...

Freedom and Liberty. Is there a party against what you stand for?

Much wiser arguing with you than arguing against you.

Freiheit?

Freiheit is the German word for both freedom and liberty.

It may also refer to: Politics: Süd-Tiroler Freiheit, STF, a nationalist political party

Here is a beautiful slide show showing one of my many home towns.
http://www.tampabay.com/specials/2010/photo_galleries/mark_t...

My thoughts on German Language:
http://www9.georgetown.edu/faculty/jod/texts/twain.german.html

Random facts:

  • Fahrenheit (212° boiling point)
  • Celsius (100° boiling pint)

Disclaimer: Mark Twain (1835-1910-To be continued) is unlicensed. His river pilot's license went delinquent in 1862. Caution advised. Daily Paul

I've always loved Twain

Can't wait - should be great.

Everyone should read his short stories. And, his plays are a hoot - especially "Adam and Eve".

"In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot."--Mark Twain

I like your attitude. It agrees with you.

Best regards telling Dr Ron Paul's message.

Great. I'll be roughing it this June. Have comfort, even when it gets to hot, climate or otherwise.

"The coldest winter I ever spent, was Summer in San Francisco." Says so right in San Francisco history. Coolest quote I apparently never uttered. Perhaps it's not my words, but certainly my feelings.

Disclaimer: Mark Twain (1835-1910-To be continued) is unlicensed. His river pilot's license went delinquent in 1862. Caution advised. Daily Paul

Everybody Talks About the Weather...

"Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it." - Mark Twain

Weather Modification: The Ultimate Weapon?
http://www.dtic.mil/cgi-bin/GetTRDoc?AD=ADA283033&Location=U...

I saw this quote in the above military document from the Air War College about weather modification and thought you might be interested.

Weather Modification Warefare Continues. Documented on TV news.

Chemocide - Global Movement to End Weather Modification Spreading Submitted by thepaulstalservice, 07/01/2012.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yr0StkDLfFY

Disclaimer: Mark Twain (1835-1910-To be continued) is unlicensed. His river pilot's license went delinquent in 1862. Caution advised. Daily Paul

Your "US Weather Modifation Archive" is very helpful. Thanks.

Sempiternal,

Thank for your weather report.

"The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right."

Your link above is very helpful. Keep on supporting Ron Paul

This archive weather document confirms many projects by official code name and admits success & failure. Especially, with the unreported, unusual names, searches are likely to find relevant hits.

Showing link with Mark Twain annotations. Thanks Sempiternal.
http://www.dtic.mil/cgi-bin/GetTRDoc?AD=ADA283033&Location=U...
Pg 11 Various agents were used, including silver iodide, dry ice crystals, and chaff. In comparing the results from 10 storms that were seeded against a control group of 18 unseeded storms, there appeared to be a 75 percent reduction in lightning strikes in the modified storms.2 This was judged to be statistically significant although the experiments were not strictly randomized.
[Mark Twin "Lightening strikes...."]

Pg 13 Another project which aimed to alter the weather began in 1952 under the
sponsorship of the U.S. Forestry Service. This was Project Skfvre which sought to prevent lightning from igniting forest fires. The basic principle was to try to cause artificial corona discharges between numerous tiny conductors introduced into the storm and thereby harmlessly dissipate its electrical potential.'4 Various agents were used, including silver iodide, dry ice crystals, and chaff. In comparing the results from 10 storms that were seeded against a control group of 18 unseeded storms, there appeared to be a 75 percent reduction in lightning strikes in the modified storms.2 This was judged to be statistically significant although the experiments were not strictly randomized.
[ Mark Twin.. "Lightening strikes again... Still working on distribution..."]

Pg 14... probably the most famous undertaking and certainly the most germane to this paper. This was the cloud seeding operations carried out by the U.S. military... Southeast Asia from 1968 to 1972...

... objective of inhibiting the logistical operations of the North Vietnamese along the Ho Chi Minh Trail. The operation came to be known by a variety of codenames: Popeye,
Intermediary, Compatriot, and Mdorpool. It was highly classified at the time and known only to the President, a few high-ranking military officers, and the assigned aircrew. We had come a long way since Mark Twain- something was being done about the weather, but nobody was talking about it
[ Mark Twin.. Look for the "distribution" of these Code Names to search archives]

[ Mark Twin...This quote is not mine. “Mark Twain- something was being done about the weather, but nobody was talking about it” ]

P 20 Conclusion
Military weather modification is not a fantasy-it is a fact Both offensive and
suppression techniques have already been employed by military forces engaged in various
conflicts ranging from the Second World War to Vietnam. The success of these operations is controversial, the ethics somewhat doubtful and the practicality Is questionable, but they have still occurred.

[Mark Twain "The End" of "US Government Archive on Weather Modification."

[ Mark Twin.. Confirmation of my lead off quote:
"The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right."]

Thank you Sempiternal.

Disclaimer: Mark Twain (1835-1910-To be continued) is unlicensed. His river pilot's license went delinquent in 1862. Caution advised. Daily Paul

The lightning ain't distributed right, Indeed!

especially with those dad-burn PTB distributin' it!

"Hence, naturally enough, my symbol for Hell is something like the bureaucracy of a police state or the office of a thoroughly nasty business concern." ~~C.S. Lewis
Love won! Deliverance from Tyranny is on the way! Col. 2:13-15

Printers-That-Be? Dad-burn PTB distributin' sparklers!

Nottin' but badly spun lies! Ain't worth a hoot!

A barn owl gives a better hoot free... & ain't wastin' dad-burn paper to do it.

Thanks for mentionin'

Disclaimer: Mark Twain (1835-1910-To be continued) is unlicensed. His river pilot's license went delinquent in 1862. Caution advised. Daily Paul

History... About My History...My Demise, a Derivative History.

My Demise, A Derivative History.

100 years past the event, others still writing about my demise. Here is one of my favorites: Slash Dot News
http://news.slashdot.org/story/10/05/24/150246/Mark-Twain-To...

Slash Dot News Quote

Twain, the pen name of Samuel Clemens, left behind 5,000 unedited pages of memoirs when he died in 1910, together with handwritten notes saying that he did not want them to hit bookshops for at least a century, but in November, the University of California, Berkeley, where the manuscript is in a vault, will release the first volume of Mark Twain's three-volume autobiography. Scholars are divided as to why Twain wanted his autobiography kept under wraps for so long, with some believing it was because he wanted to talk freely about issues such as religion and politics. Michael Shelden, who this year published Man in White, an account of Twain's final years, says that some of his privately held views could have hurt his public image. 'He had doubts about God, and in the autobiography, he questions the imperial mission of the US in Cuba, Puerto Rico and the Philippines,' says Shelden. 'He's also critical of [Theodore] Roosevelt, and takes the view that patriotism was the last refuge of the scoundrel. Twain also disliked sending Christian missionaries to Africa. He said they had enough business to be getting on with at home: with lynching going on in the South, he thought they should try to convert the heathens down there.' Interestingly enough, Twain had a cunning plan to beat the early 20th century copyright law with its short copyright terms. Twain planned to republish every one of his works the moment it went out of copyright with one-third more content, hoping that availability of such 'premium' version will make prints based on the out-of-copyright version less desirable on the market."

Slash Dot News comments also very revealing.

he knew that saying some of this stuff one hundred years ago would be career ending or life threatening ... and not until those involved, lampooned and criticized are long gone would the world be ready for this. This will most likely prove to be a delicious read indeed.

Sincerely,

Disclaimer: Mark Twain (1835-1910-To be continued) is unlicensed. His river pilot's license went delinquent in 1862. Caution advised. Daily Paul

Interesting he wanted it withheld for 100 years.

That will be something to read.

100 Years Ago Lost Interest in Money. Wanted Liberty!

Dr Ron Paul is fond of repeating, "Makes no sense."

Sempiternal, I read slow and careful what you write.
Keep up your good work.

Here is yet, another headline story about my demise, 100 years late: Hindustan Times newspaper.
http://www.hindustantimes.com/Mark-Twain-to-tell-all-100-yea...

Years gone by, wrote against those controlling others with wars of the day and the like. Pointed out the folly of those pretending to be grand.

Figured upon my actual and factual demise, many would promote their version of my autobiography. So I withheld the actual material... the facts. Waited those charlatans out. Suspect, none of them are critics now; sincerely hope you and your friends enjoy and benefit from all my travails. Or more simply, enjoy the stories with your kids of my travels.

I am eternally grateful for all I witnessed.

Indeed, "Makes no sense." His-story is often void of sense.

Live Your-story. Make it something worth living and good in the telling

Disclaimer: Mark Twain (1835-1910-To be continued) is unlicensed. His river pilot's license went delinquent in 1862. Caution advised. Daily Paul

Mark Twain Died. Autobiography Published. This One, I Wrote.

Bump Last Page

Would someone respectfully place one of my pictures on this post so that others might be more inclined to read it.

My wish is that folks read three of my short essays. Then they will appreciate times now are facing many of the same problems I stewed about 100 years ago. Nation building, money, monopoly and enslavement.

Twain Picture - US Postage Stamp
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/5/55/Sam...

Twain Picture - Young Man
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mark_Twain_by_Abdullah_Fr%...

Twain Picture - Old Man
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/84/Twa...

Twin Picture - Procrastinated.
http://www.websters-dictionary-online.com/
So that youngsters will surely know the full flavor of this word, place my best picture in Webster dictionary here.

Disclaimer: Mark Twain (1835-1910-To be continued) is unlicensed. His river pilot's license went delinquent in 1862. Caution advised. Daily Paul