How to Win the Revolution Peacefully? Make it a Laughing Matter!

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"The founder of Home Depot announced that he is supporting Mitt Romney for president. It's kind of a nice story, because Mitt Romney was actually assembled with parts from Home Depot." –Jimmy Fallon

"Mitt Romney has come under fire for his pledge to eliminate federal funding for PBS. Romney said, 'When I'm president, the only operated puppet speaking to kids will be me." –Conan O'Brien

"Hookers in Times Square, God bless 'em, are offering a Mitt Romney Special. For an extra $20 they'll change positions." –David Letterman

"Presidential candidate Mitt Romney was asked to explain why none of his five sons are in the military and he said that his sons demonstrate their patriotism by going on the road and campaigning for him. Now there's a tough choice: 'Iraq, or Iowa? Fallujah or Cedar Rapids? Honey, what do you think?'" --Jay Leno

An old Italian lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, as the ground was hard.

His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.

Love, Papa

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Pop,

Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.

Love, Vinnie

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Pop,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love you, Vinnie

There are many 'hard days nights' :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLongUBPm5Y&feature=related

...'it is the winter of our discontent' ;)

Died and went to heaven, they were met at the golden gates by St Peter. St Peter asked them to wait while he conferred with God.
God told St Peter, "check them out and if they are worthy let them in".
Some time later St Peter came running back to god and exclaimed, "God they are gone" and God said "who, The IRS agents? St Peter said no sir, the gates!

"oooo I need the government to protect me from heroin ooo" lol hes the best

.

The Sun is setting, coming on Friday eve. Boys are coming in from the range. We are all plumb tuckered out. Most of us broke.

Amble along what they call the main street, toward the cafe doors... swinging doors. Slowly approach the Innkeeper. He is perhaps the only one whom might recognize my by face.

"Tain it!" I hale with gusto.

The Innkeeper, instantly gleeful, hasn't time to shake by hand. Floorboards are quaking under the stress of stampeding boots. Every hand within earshot bellies up.

I commence to scratching out what yarns they come upon. They're all boisterous... interrupting.. & carrying on... I did not get but a small fraction, barely the jest of it.

Before retiring, I go check on my pony. Chat a moment with those still coming in for the night.

Back to the inn... Nod to the Innkeeper & settle score. Sometimes I just sign the tab for his display. Head up the stairs to rough up some sense out of my notes. Climb back down the stairs to the Inn front desk. I drop off what will become news in the morning paper.

The boys are so busy retelling the yarns they just told me, nary a notice, I climb back up the stairs for the night.

Back in my room, before retiring, I ready my bags to get right out of town... just in case of a misprint.

Blow out the candle. Good night.
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THE MAKING OF A JOURNALIST

Henry H. Ashton, a Virginia City capitalist, has in his library richly bound in crushed Levant, those early volumes of the Virginia City Enterprise, to which Mark Twain contributed.

The faded pages contain innumerable specimens of the famous writer's quaint humor. Mr. Ashton often points out the first paragraph that Mark Twain wrote on his arrival in Virginia City. The paragraph runs:

"A thunderstorm made Beranger a poet, a mother's kiss made Benjamin West a painter and a salary of $15 a week makes us a journalist."
- Dallas Morning News, November 17, 1907, p. 4.

You need someone who can confront people without sounding condescending or "out there". Jokes don't work.. once matters get serious and someone perceived as "strong" or having "military background" says something to your face, your jokes pretty much just go out of the window. Or if you get confronted about social wellfare, pensions, social security. Try to crack a joke around that.

The way to take the wind out of their sails is not to make hyperbole about digital watches. (Did anyone laugh? Would any pro central-control freak be amused, much less swayed?)

Mock the politicians' grand perceptions of their own power, worth, and righteousness.

Here is a small contribution: Click

I hope someday to see a clueless Obamaton wearing that image at a rally.

Here's another one.

great.

How many neocons does it take to put in a lightbulb?

This is one of those great ideas that I just can't get enough of... it tickles me! =)

Donald Rumsfeld, Defender of the Constitution (award he will be given by the American Conservative Union at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) next week.

From the grave, George Orwell says:

War is Peace
Freedom is Slavery
Rumsfeld is the Defender of the Constitution
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I say along with AJ, The Answer to 1984 is 1776!
And the answer to Donald Rumsfeld is Ron Paul... and Rand Paul... and you.. and me... and the Living God, the author of Life, Liberty, and Property... Together, and growing, we are unstoppable!!!

Their obvious errors only stimulate them to greater error and noisier self approval. They are bores.
They hate beauty. They hate sex. They hate life.
We have warned them from time to time to their inequities and blindness.
We have addressed every available appeal to their withered sense of righteousness.
We have tried to make them laugh.
We have prophesied in detail the terror they are perpetuating. But they have been deaf to the weeping of the poor, the anguish of the colored, the rocking mockery of the young, the warnings of their poets. Worshipping only force and money, they listen only to force and money. But we shall no longer talk in these grim tongues.
~Timothy Leary
http://www.timothylearyarchives.org/dr-timothy-learys-declar...

I don't know how many of you know Richard Maybury. When Ron Paul was out of Congress in the early 90's I subscribed to Rons newsletter. When he ran for Congress he turned us over to Richards newsletter. Maybury would be a great VP for Ron Paul. Check out his news letter and the books he has written.