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Scary Campfire Stories (or, tales the establishment tell each other at sleepaway camp)

This is a work of fiction, obviously. Hope you enjoy it!

Barry passed out the graham crackers to Nancy, Mitt, Ricky and Michele, and then fished in his knapsack for the marshmallows and chocolate. "Since you guys are from Camp Pachyderm across the lake while we're from Camp Mulesod, Nancy and I figured you'd never come to our bonfire."

Mitt spoke up first, "Well, while we're TOTALLY different from you, I like what you blue shirts did with the first aid shack, Barry. It's kind of like what I did with first aid at Ol' Red," he pointed proudly to his red camp t-shirt.

Michele added, "Even though I didn't like the changes to first aid, I used to raise funds for camp the same way you guys do."

"I was worried that there might be girls here, so I made sure everybody had cooties shots, whether they wanted them or not!" said Ricky, the youngest of the campers.

After the s'mores materials had been distributed and everybody had eaten, Nancy pulled out a flashlight with an evil smile, "Anybody wanna tell spooky stories?"

"YEAH!" shouted all of the kids except Ricky. He looked nervous.

"What'sa matter, Ricky? You scared?" said Mitt.

"No!" replied Ricky.

"Maybe he wants his teddy bear, Mr. Bushie!" Michele teased.

"I do not," he said with less conviction.

"C'mon, are we telling scary stories or not?" said Barry.

Nancy said, "Since I brought the flashlight, I go first!"

Her story began, "There was this mean old doctor who lived out by the lake. Nobody knows his name anymore, because people were too scared to say it or even write it!

"So, one day a rich banker named Fred Reserve came into his office complaining about feeling depressed. The doctor took one look at him and said, 'I know just the thing,' and he CHOPPED OFF HIS HEAD! The body wriggled and jerked for almost a minute afterward. Then the mean old doctor took Fred's wallet and set it on fire, burning away all of his money and credit cards!"

The campers shrieked. Of course, after a minute they all started giggling, knowing that no such thing could ever happen, all, that is, except little Ricky, who looked very frightened.

"Ooooh, Ricky! Do you think the big bad doctor's gonna get you?" taunted Mitt.

"No," said Ricky quietly.

"My turn," said Michele, snatching the flashlight, "It's about the same doctor.

"Around the same time as Nancy's story, the doctor was visited by an attorney named Patrick O'Tact. Pat was such a great attorney that he would go around telling the police to arrest people he thought might commit crimes and stick them in jail even if they hadn't. He kept people safe, so it was okay.

"Pat told the doctor he was just in for a checkup. So, the doctor looked him over and said, 'Stay right here, I've got something for you.' The doctor went to his cabinet and pulled out a vial of poison, something called habeas corpus, I think that's Latin for 'house of corpses,' filled a needle with it, and shoved it into Pat's arm. After a few seconds, Pat's body began to shrink away until all that remained was his shriveled, mummified skin clinging to his bones!"

Another scream erupted from the campers, followed by more laughter. Once again, Ricky refrained. He looked like he was sick.

"Ricky's so scared! You need your Bushie bear, Ricky?" chortled Nancy.

"No. I'm just having a bad reaction to my cooties vaccine," Ricky said, his voice trembling.

Suddenly, there was a rustling among the brush. The kids all screamed, "It's the crazy killer doctor!"

Out from the tree line emerged an old man with twinkling eyes and a kind, if crooked, smile. The children regrouped, feeling calmer.

"It's just some old guy," sighed Mitt.

The man spoke in a gentle voice, "Alright, kids. Playtime's over. Time to go home."

"Awww, man!" the campers said in chorus. They put out their fire, packed away the last of the s'mores supplies and prepared to head back to their respective cabins.

"We thought you were the mean old doctor who lives by the lake," said Ricky.

"Well, I'm AN old doctor, and I live by A lake. So, maybe I am?" answered the man.

"Nah, those stories are made up," replied Barry.

"Are you sure?" said the doctor, with a mischievous gleam in his eye, adding, "You don't mean the ones about Fred Reserve and Patrick O'Tact, do you?"

The kids howled in terror and scrambled away as quickly as they could.

"Was it something I said?" smirked the doctor.

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in the night!

New Hampshire and Ecuador.

That was good

. Fun,fun.

Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom must. like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it.-Thomas Paine

The R3volution requires action, not observation!!!!