The Flea-Infested Hunt for a GOP Nominee
Benjamin Franklin famously penned, “He that lies down with dogs shall rise up with fleas.” A former obstetrician expounded upon Franklin’s sentiment regarding bad company corrupting good character, and gave it a modern edge. “When one gets in bed with government, one must expect the diseases it spreads,” wrote Congressman Ron Paul.
Who are the presidential candidates in bed with now? Judging from donations alone, Ron Paul draws the eternal devotion of the entire US Army, the US Air Force, the US Navy, and sensible folks at Google. In stark contrast, Mitt Romney’s moneyed mistresses max out to him at Goldman Sachs, JP Morgan Chase, Morgan Stanley, and Citigroup. Rick Santorum appears to be the worst lover of them all. No one of any consequence has jumped into Santorum’s sex-is-for-procreation bed, offering to give him big donors—unless you count Universal Health Services. In fact, Santorum has barely surpassed Jon Huntsman’s fundraising totals, and Huntsman went broke months ago. Even Newt Gingrich is out-fundraising Santorum nearly three-to-one. That’s to be expected for Gingrich; good times seem to come in threes for the former Speaker.
Who is pairing their money with their mouths and issuing verbal endorsements? George Soros says it best, “If it’s between Obama and Romney, there is not that much difference, except for the crowd that they bring with them.” Many others from the moneyed class agree, including hair model Donald Trump. Robin Leach is so comfortable with the rich and famous, he wishes Romney champagne kisses and caviar dreams. A disproportional amount of people in the hedge fund, ice skating, and legal communities also endorse Romney. This might seem like a coincidence until you consider what they all have in common.
Inexplicably, Romney drew the 2012 endorsement of renowned gun rights supporter Ted Nugent, even though Romney said, “We do have tough gun laws in Massachusetts; I support them...I believe they protect us and provide for our safety.” Romney also favored a waiting period on handguns and, as governor, signed a law banning many semi-automatic firearms. As they say in Texas, “That dog won’t hunt.”
Probably the most stirring endorsement for Romney was made by Rick Santorum himself, “Governor Romney is the candidate who will stand up for the conservative principles that we hold dear. (He) has a deep understanding of the important issues confronting our country today, and he is the clear conservative candidate that can go into the general election with a united Republican party."
Now his angry opponent, Santorum simultaneously secured the endorsement of a disproportionate amount of Iowa GOP officials and media moguls named Rupert*, thereby creating the suspicious “Santorum surge” prior to that state’s primary. The rest of Santorum’s endorsements hail from status quo embedded politicians with which he “got along to get along” and some of the religious right’s leaders intent on influencing how taxpayer money is stolen and spent. It’s nothing short of shocking to see how quickly social conservatives hop into bed with the government.
Who endorses Ron Paul? Besides Rick Santorum’s nephew and five of Romney’s family members, a disproportionate number of rappers, pastors, veterans, comedians, football players, and singers hailing from Massachusetts support the Congressman.
Considered a top intellectual and described as the “hottest” thinker in the world, The Black Swan author Nassim Taleb says, “The only person I trust is Ron Paul.”
Television personality Stephen Colbert says, “I really do like Ron Paul. The guy is intellectually consistent. He says the same thing on Monday that he said on Sunday. He doesn’t change with the winds. That’s admirable.”
Actress Christine Ebersole of Saturday Night Live fame points out, “The water’s rising. It’s around our necks right now, and the other candidates are trying to lure us to sleep with these sound-bite fairy tales. He’s the only person who’s ever spoken to us as adults, about the realities of the cost of war and that this is empire building. No one else talks about it, because they’re owned by the bankers.”
Prodigy of the rap group Mobb Deep explains his Ron Paul endorsement, “I’m not going to vote for somebody just because they’re black. It’s not about your color. It’s not about your religion. It’s all about our freedoms that are being taken away from us right now. Everybody needs to come together as a people and protect our freedoms.”
Former Misfits frontman Michael Graves says, “Put away all of the social issues, any of the disagreements that you have with the right or the left or whatever. Start to research why our forefathers said that central banks are more dangerous than standing armies. Follow the money and it will open your eyes, and you will begin to wake up. Go down the rabbit hole and ask critical questions. Put away all other arguments and begin with our currency.”
Combat veteran and film director Oliver Stone says of Paul, “He’s the only one of anybody who’s saying anything intelligent about the future of the world.”
Former CIA Bin Laden hunter Michael Scheuer says ominously, “When war comes, Dr. Paul can say, ‘George Washington and I tried to warn you.’”
Ron Paul doesn’t act like a patriot; a patriot acts like Ron Paul. As such, cultural icons of masculinity Clint Eastwood and Chuck Norris have both publicly expressed favorable opinions of Ron Paul, who conducts his political campaigns as he does his personal life, with restraint, honesty, and dignity. Dr. Paul seems to mentor even his most macho supporters. Now, Chuck Norris doesn’t even need to read books. He just stands next to Ron Paul until he absorbs the information he seeks.
If pre-Super Tuesday celebrity endorsements don’t hold sway, perhaps some other fun “Ron Paul Facts” will do the job. For instance, Tim Tebow wears Ron Paul pajamas. Captain America plays with Ron Paul action figures. Apple Pie wishes it could be as American as Ron Paul.
One honest GEICO employee put it this way, “I just saved a bunch of money by switching to Ron Paul.”
The universal truths that the ever-consistent Paul espouses endears him to an incredible cross-section of people all over the world. Four years ago, his message of individual liberty and responsibility was just catching fire among a sizable set of very different Americans, united in their newness to political awareness and the role of government in their lives. Their gratitude to him for reaching out to them with the liberty doctrine revealed itself in chants like “Dr. Paul cured my apathy.” It is safe to say their sentiments, along with popularity of the freedom message, have grown exponentially since 2008.
According to General Washington, “Liberty, once it takes root, is a plant of rapid growth.” Take heart, patriots, we will win this war against tyranny and our individual liberties, without getting fleas or contracting a disease!
*Billionaire Rupert Murdoch owns Fox News, The New York Post, the Wall Street Journal, and other major media companies, but he relied on his new Twitter account to officially reveal his Santorum endorsement.