D.L. Crumpton: Fun With Pundits In The Wake Of Ron Paul's Rise Part Three: Neal BoortzSubmitted by zeninthecar on Mon, 03/26/2012 - 00:24
No you have not mistakenly tuned into a strange, Japanese game show where the current challenge is to attempt speaking with a bowl full of clam chowder in your mouth; It’s just how Neal Boortz speaks. Yes it might seem that they actually gave the Gun Gun big chief a nationally syndicated radio show but you’d be wrong in that logical conclusion. Neal Boortz is the libertarian of the bunch. Have you stopped belly laughing yet? I know, I know. The notion that this bitter old insider is actually a libertarian brings up the same imagery from Waco Texas when the ATF kept mega phoning that they were not attacking as they tanks kept on a rollin’.
Boortz, like all the other pundits pull this mind trick all the time. You see this is the thing, they have to pretend to be objective observers that don’t have dogs in the fight so the last thing any of them do is say they are republicans. They say they are conservatives, or libertarians, or constitutionalist but isn’t it funny how they always seem to back the candidate that just so happens to have an R after their name. See this objective observer routine is a mind game played to keep the meek of mind hooked to their every word because it connects a few wires together in their simple minds that say “Hey I’m an objective observer and so is he. He sounds like he does his research on all this political stuff and I’m a little too lazy to research it for myself so it would save time if I just trusted what this guy says and accept those as my own beliefs.”. In addition it keeps people listening because the overlords of dark-hatchery know that most people aren’t exactly pleased with either party right now and would less likely swallow the drivel from someone claiming to be a card carrying member of the GOP.
Neal Boortz so wanted to be a rock star when he was a kid. He had probably filled his parents basement from corner to corner with posters of James Dean in the epic teen hit “Rebel without a Cause”. He wanted to stand on the stage, he wanted to feel the heat of the lights and be showered in the tossing of carefully and individually rolled left handed cigarettes from groupies yet to remove toss able undergarments. Unfortunately he was talentless and unappealable as a human being growing up so he came up with the idea of becoming a radio show host or a lawyer, whichever came first. Now, that should be enough. I should be able to say that the guy is a lawyer and you should be able to draw the rest of the condescending commentary I intend to write in your own mind. Then again, I would be acting lazy as a writer, and derelict in my duties to offer perspective if I did not roll on and on.
So picture KISS only much, much older than they are with walkers wobbling out on stage to do one last version of “Dr. Love” to show that even at sixty, or however old Boortz’s jiggle chin is, you still rock. Neal Boortz basically is in an ever ineffective impersonation of Howard Stern, but for politics. He wants to come off as hard core. He’s hardcore, he’s in your face, he says the cold, hard truth, he tells it like it be, he goes for the jugular…or so he wants you to believe. As edgy as he wants to be and as abrasive as he likes to be portrayed he is merely mocking exactly what all the other members of the pundit league are saying only in a much ruder and cruder way. I’m sorry mister Boortz, just because you quack the status quo in a loose languaged way doesn’t mean you are controversial. It just means you lack the ability to structure your thoughts in an enlightened way.
Each regurgitated talking point from the echo chamber of the neoconservative is laced with urban curse words that Boortz is either poorly parroting or trying to create and insert into the vernacular. He feels that he is so hardcore he must be what Levin calls a “backbencher”, or one not assigned to large audiences because the masses aren’t ready for how bone breakingly truthful he is. It has yet to dawn on him that the reason he has yet to be heralded in the ranks of the Hannity or Limbaugh is merely because his very voice invokes gag reflexes in the necks of his listeners. That, and he’s an idiot. You can tell just by listening to those who work with him like Belinda, that none of them really like him that much but must walk a tightrope of toleration because he unfortunately is their cash cow.
Wait a second though, you might say to yourself, he has all these great ideas about the fair tax. He even wrote a few books about with numbers and percentages and facts and figures. Yes its true, he has written books to make it sound complicated and make you think that it’s all so complicated and at some point you will abandon your common sense. What he doesn’t want you to know that the fair tax and the 999 thing is all trimmings to a cake you do not have to eat. It’s the shifting of chairs on a Titanic like ship called the income tax which you have never stopped to ask whether or not you are obligated to pay. You just pay it.
So sure, Boortz may have great ideas on how to pay a tax but what he fails to bring up is that the tax he’s talking to is fraudulent and this country really hasn’t paid it for all that long and when you get right down to it; shouldn’t. I mean think about it for a minute. Fair tax? A tax that is fair? A tax which takes money from the work and sweat of your own hands and is turned around and spent on programs and ideas you find repulsive? Do you really want to pay for murdering babies, do you really want to pay for shoving missiles up sixteen year old afghan’s ass in the back of taxi cabs, do you really want to pay for Homeland Security to record your conversations and put you in an internment camp? Of course you don’t. So why would it be rational for those in the ranks of the pundit league to design a more efficient way for you to pay for said programs unless they were blocking the point?
Whoa. Did we just go there? Yes we did. We went to the place Boortz and his pundit league friends don’t want us to go; Common Sense land. You see if he can get the passive listeners to believe that he is somehow more qualified to ascertain what is right and what is wrong within the halls of our government then perhaps he can get them to let their guard down and trust that people like him and his league are guarding them from the enemies at the gates. Boortz cant snag that confused, bible thumping crowd that seems to think that a roman catholic Sean Hannity shares their alleged worldview, or the gaggle of sheep like people who follow the staff of Mark Levin, so he has to cast his net to the middle aged men who want to still feel perky and edgy. They probably have mullets and have yet to remove Guns and Roses “Use your Illusion Part One” from the tape deck of their ford bronco. These guys grew up at the strangest of times, the eighties, and never got around to really learning history or how government works, or what the constitution actually says so they just rest on the laurels that what this fowl mouthed senior citizen lawyer is saying is the solid.
Following the same tune as the other pipers, Neal Boortz also has this fixation that Muslims are all born with a manual in their hand instructing them on how to build a vest packed with C-4. Those in the middle east are nothing more than ravaging lunatics who may walk and talk like human beings, but in actuality ticking time bombs from birth. Of course he has to flap his cloak in obscurity by saying “radial Muslim” but you get what he is saying. He trusts that you can read between the lines and nod along with him as anyone who happens to be a Muslim has now just become suspect and open to inspection…for national security reasons of course. After all, isn’t it libertarian to sacrifice your rights like a thirteen year old hottie at a frat party in order to feel safe and secure? This is the storm of contradiction the listener of the Neal Boortz Show must sail through in order to come to any logical conclusions on their own as to what is simply right and what is simply wrong.
There is much more I could say about Neal Boortz because the breadth and the height and the depth and the width of his obtuse notion of philosophy is so grounded in the realms of nonsensory, entire volumes could be written about the shallowness of his very being. So for the sake of time and for the time of mine faithful reader I shall retreat for a time.
To be continued…