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D.L. Crumpton: Fun With Pundits In The Wake Of Ron Paul's Rise Part Four: Rush Limbaugh

Golden microphone? Check. Tailored suit? Check. Private jet furnished with Cuban cigars? Check. Now we can take to the sky with our course set to the secret volcano base of douchebaggery secure that we will arrive right on time with captain Rush. Who else can throw in your face that he’s an egomaniacal douche bag with the subtly of salmon being slapped across your face and yet still claim to millions of listeners that his opinions are completely selfless and for the greater good of the country. The man advertises that he’s an intoxicatingly arrogant and narcissistic blowhard every moment of his show and yet his listeners manage to make mental back flips into thinking he is doing them a service.

I say captain Rush because of all the members of the pundit league he would be most identifiable with Captain America from the Avengers. Now wait just a second because in associating the two it is not my intent to denigrate Steve Rogers, it’s just that Rush was the first to take action in the talk radio world and all the other members of the league look to him for leadership. The connection has nothing to do with actually defending the United States of America or being a patriot at all.
Now my instinct is to go a little easier on Rush because quite honestly I think that he sincerely believes the things that he says and for the most part isn’t getting his agenda entirely from Langley Virginia or receiving checks from the C.I.A, but then again it does seem blatantly obvious that the C.I.A is writing their scripts from what he says so I take back that going a little easier thing. Honestly, and to be most truthful about Rush Limbaugh, I have to say that I actually feel sorry for him, I actually can sympathize.
You have to keep in mind that this man has spent his entire life building something. Now normally we would admire people who build great works of art, or music, or sculptures but Rush is overlooked in the area of being a great builder. You see he has dedicated his entire life to the building of this outlet of information known as talk radio and he has been quite successful in his endeavor. Because of what he has done there would be no other member of the pundit league which would enjoy the lavish and luscious lifestyle they enjoy as they spout off their point of view in a hot tub that costs more than my house or your house. Yet, most builders who are inspired by the spirit of the Universe are building to edify the least of the ranks of mankind, Rush Limbaugh and his ilk are not precisely following this model. They are building structures which only prop up their own name and whittling wood to ensure that each plank of their creation somewhere has their fancy little signature. This is the type of thing Rush has built. He has built a syndicate of talking faces which all repeat the same misinformation in an attempt to nudge the majority in a certain direction, which happens to always be the slaughter house, and rock them to sleep under the notion that they are watching out for them. This empire was successful for a time, and for a time it was good.

No great builder, or creator, wishes to see what they have built crumble in front of their eyes. They hope and they pray that they will have shuffled off this mortal coil long before it slips through their fingers like gold dust, yet this is where captain Rush now finds himself. Now I’m sure his numbers are only going up and the bankroll just keeps on a growin’ but when you reach the high position he, and the other pundit league members, have in the public eye the financial aspect is just balloonish. So what do I mean when I say his empire is crumbling?
Our collective, cultural, consciousness has written in its DNA a deep distrust for the government and a great disdain towards the politicians which slither in its halls. Even without all the facts we feel deep down in our bubble guts that most of those teleprompter reading leaches are up to no good as far as our liberties and freedoms are concerned. For a good bit of our history in this great experiment we were dependent on the information given to us from the newspapers and news channels which manage to always seem to drop the ball of honest reporting and put a slant on the stories to keep most people either in the dark or looking at the wrong people for the cause of our woes. At the time captain Rush rose to the airwaves, he offered something rare, namely an alternate source of news with a seemingly antagonistic viewpoint to the government. Americans like this sort of thing so he built an audience rather quickly and most of that was enabled due to the downside of American mentality; dereliction of duty in the area of knowing history. As I have said before, so now I say again; most Americans have not read the constitution since grade school and that reading was probably a little sketchy at best. So they have a sense of what it might or might not say, and they at least have the feeling that the constitution is a good thing, but don’t actually know and unfortunately most Americans shirk their responsibility to know this document and opt to instead memorize statistics for useless sports teams which have no impact on their life.

So for a few decades captain Rush, and the other members of the pundit league were able to gain a following by portraying themselves as defenders of the constitution and the watchdogs of Washington alerting the masses when government swayed away from it. This solidified and strengthened the term Alex Jones has coined (and quite accurately so) the left\right paradigm. It lumped Americans into one of two groups, left or right, republican or democrat. This technique plays to our natural instinct of being a part of a tribe or a unit of some kind and defending it from an outside tribe or unit. It was in this environment that captain Rush laid his bricks for an empire of deception. The pundit league, lead by captain Rush, have enjoyed the wealth of listeners and their trust and it is this foundation which now is slipping away from them quickly.
Finally the pendulum is swinging right back the other way with laser point precision and aimed directly at Rush Limbaugh’s neoconservative testicles. Aside from recently getting caught on air with the drivel of the liberal lip, and having to back pedal a whole hearted, half hearted apology; our favorite, bloated, prick in a suit is starting to bleed out from where he was gutted. Not only has the slutscipade deprived him of some of the biggest cash cow sponsors, his credibility is being shot in the douche bag golf shoes he so oft wears and into the foot of excellence in propagandizing. I’m sorry but you cannot say for twenty plus years on the air that you are a small government conservative and then when it comes down to the wire shun the only candidate who actually does what you expect us to believe you would have them do.

Oh, I get it. I get the anybody but Obama shtick but to tell you the truth I got this dog see, and this dog well he aint exactly the sharpest knife in the bulb so to speak, but one thing’s for sure; even my dog understands that your head would have to be up your ass farther than his to ingest that nonsensical line of reasoning. Anybody but Obama…so here’s you a little Jo Stalin. Naw Naw Naw, don’t fret don’t sweat. We knows he’s a mass murderin’ dictatin’ thug but hey…anybody but Obama. I mean how do you honestly expect to keep the mice following your tune when the notes are hitting all the wrong keys? I’m sure there will always be the faithful though so chin up Rush; I’m sure some of them can still hook you up with the lady.


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A mouthpiece

Rush is only a mouthpiece. The real neo-cons work more subtly. Limbaugh's passing will only feed more RINO neo-cons. Charles Krauthammer, Elliot Abrams, Bill Kristol, and all the other unelected NEO-CONS who control the GOP and consider themselves the kingmakers.

Those people really couldn't give a rat's a$$ about Limbaugh, Beck or all the others who have been their mouthpieces at various times.

These people constantly attack anything right wing media not under their direct control. Manipulators.

Attacking other media by pulling advertising is their weapon, and they have used it for years. Limbaugh is only their tool. Morons like Limbaugh and Beck are only useful until their usefulness ends.

Then they become pathetic outsiders, trying to kiss NEO-CON boots to get back some of the action.


You are hitting the nails right on the head! You describe everything so well! Makes for an interesting read! Have you ever thought of putting a book together on this? If you did, what would you title it? Pretty awesome there!

Thanks I appreciate the

Thanks I appreciate the compliment. Tell you what, you find me a literary agent and not only will I write the book for you I'll even let you title it.




All I have to say is go read

All I have to say is go read the story of Narcissus.