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WA Times - Thomas Mullen: Rumors of Ron Paul campaign demise greatly exaggerated

Saturday, March 31, 2012 -

In their mad dash to create the long awaited general election narrative, media outlets have pronounced Ron Paul’s campaign dead.

They now speculate about what his supporters may do when he drops out. The Associated Press reports that Romney has over ten times the delegates that Ron Paul has secured. Reuters reports that Paul is far behind in Wisconsin and that his supporters have finally conceded that he can’t win the nomination.

None of this is true.[my emphasis] Romney has not secured 568 delegates. Hundreds of those delegates won’t be determined until Republican state conventions, many of which haven’t happened yet.

As I’ve reported before, there is very credible evidence that Ron Paul will emerge from those conventions with the majority of delegates in many states. Texas, New York and California haven’t even held their primaries yet. Those three states alone control over four hundred delegates.
Continued at:
http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/reawaken...



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A Fist Full of Edits...

1. In their mad dash to create the long awaited general election narrative, media outlets have pronounced Ron Paul’s campaign dead.

Better: In their mad dash to create the long awaited general election narrative, media outlets have pronounced presidential candidate Ron Paul’s campaign dead.

Better still: ...pronounced congressman Ron Paul's campaign dead.

Introduction: Almost always use a person's title when his name is writen for the first time. If the person has more than one title, use the title the text appropriates. Drop title in subsequent uses unless many paragraphs have passed, multiple people are mentioned and there are two or more people in the article who have the same surname. I understand why RP was without a title on his first mention: the location of your column. The column was in the politics section and an RP banner for president was above your column. If the banner wasn't present and despite the column was in the politics section, placing a title before RP when you first mentioned him would be proper, because it's not the regular readers the writer writes thoroughly for, it's the new reader the writer writes thoroughly for. Because of those qualities, presidential candidate wouldn't be needed and might've been a mouthful, but congressman could've, and probably should've, been used.

2. They now speculate about what his supporters may do when he drops out.

Correct: They now speculate about what his supporters will do if he drops out.

An aside: When talking about possibility, use might, not may. May concerns permission; might, possibility. In the past 10 years this may-might mix-up has grown ubiquitous.

3. The Associated Press reports that Romney has over ten times the delegates that Ron Paul has secured.

Correct: The Associated Press reports Romney has more than 10 times the delegates Ron Paul has.

Over is reserved for when something is above something physically, as in the plane flew over the building. More than is used in counting. Numbers zero to nine are spelled; numbers 10 and greater are in numeral form.

4. Reuters reports that Paul is far behind in Wisconsin and that his supporters have finally conceded that he can’t win the nomination.

Get rid of "that" between reports and Paul, as in "Reuters reports Paul is...."

5. None of this is true.

Unless "this" is established -- that is, when what "this" refers to follows it -- avoid using "this" alone.

6. As I’ve reported before, there is very credible evidence that Ron Paul....

Drop "before" and "that." If you're interested in refreshing the reader the significance of the subject without another person in the article sharing the subject's last name, consider using a secondary title instead of or immediately before the subject's last name. If a secondary title is used, make sure the preceding sentence transitions to this use. Also, avoid using "yet" more than once in a composition. More than one use depends on space between them. Use "through" for "via." Via is shorthand, not a word. Yes, it's in the dictionary, but it translates to "by (or through) this way" or "by way of."

7. The word republican and phrase republican party have a few styles to them. Republican Party is capitalized when it's used as a proper noun, as in the California Republican Party or the Republican National Convention, but it's republican party if no proper noun preceeds them. The use of lowercase republican party varies among publications, and many publications uppercase Republican Party even without a proper noun beforehand, but I think doing so is an error because that absence makes vague what the party refers to. The word republican is always lowercased. A couple examples are Tom is a republican or ...republicans weren’t exactly energized by.....

OK, I'm tired and I won't accept anything for a few edits more. (Catch the pun? Hint: headline.) I hope you find them helpful, Tom or fellow RPer.

Tom, I enjoyed your column. It wasn't long or long-winded and it read fluidly. Wonderful job, Tom. I always look forward to reading your writings. I really enjoyed your recent column "God is a noninterventionist." I felt it timely and needed. I have been thinking about that topic for a long time. Continue your good work, Tom, and don't back down!

School's fine. Just don't let it get in the way of thinking. -Me

Study nature, not books. -Walton Forest Dutton, MD, in his 1916 book whose subject is origin (therefore what all healing methods involve and count on), simple and powerful.

we need to have another blackout on the dp

After studying this thread...
http://www.dailypaul.com/223874/this-national-tv-ad-could-en...

I think we could combine this effort to show the current enthusiasm coupled w bringing more attention to the media blackout of which Tom Mullen is referring... We should extend it up until texas/ cal.... ?
Maybe your not into sequels... What do you think?

SteveMT's picture

Sounds good to me.

With some advanced advertizing, this would work well, IMO.

Mullen in the newspaper

Awesome. I'm very happy for you, Tom. I haven't read your column yet, but from scrolling down the Washington Time's page, I see a major change in this article compared to most of your columns: length.

This column's short and it looks concisely written. It's lean, without fat. I'm looking forward to reading your column, Tom. I just hope you didn't write the all-too-common and lazy refrain "the fact that."

No person involved in language and especially a writer should -- ever -- write that phrase. The first substitute for that dull, tired phrase is that. Just try it. If that doesn't work, reword the clause or sentence. OK, enough soap boxing from me. Time to read TM!

School's fine. Just don't let it get in the way of thinking. -Me

Study nature, not books. -Walton Forest Dutton, MD, in his 1916 book whose subject is origin (therefore what all healing methods involve and count on), simple and powerful.

sharkhearted's picture

Great article.

Thanks for sharing!

~Chris
Norfolk, VA

~Chris
Norfolk, VA

Time to INVESTIGATE the investigators of 9/11. PROSECUTE the prosecutors. EXPOSE the cover-up.