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Conversation with a Veteran's Widow

I live in a city of about 55,000. The small mortgage company I work for owns a brown building with gold lettered words on the west side of downtown. I usually come into work about 8:30, but I was a little late after watching a movie with my girlfriend, late last night. So, I walk in at 9:02, and start making some coffee. While it's brewing I recieve a call from a lady named Caroline.

Caroline has a voice as sweet as honey on a roll. But there is also a pain, or discomfort that has overshadowed some of the tenderness I think it once had. She wants to take out money on her home so she can afford her late truck payments, and other medical bills that have backed up. As I listen to her tell me about the banks that have rejected her over the last two days because of her low credit score I start to get disinterested, as I know there will probably be little we can do for her. However, I decide to take her information down on pen and paper, so I can run her credit, and see what can be worked out. She is thirty years old, and owns a home outright on the outskirts of town. We get to employment, and she is on SSI, and death benefits. She tells me her husband passed during an eighteen month tour in Afghanistan. My heart drops, and I try to tell her I'm sorry, but I know that an apology won't do anything to change her husbands fate. Then, I hear her call her fifteen month old Gary, who she was carrying when her husband died serving our country, over to sit on her lap. In addition, she is in charge of a ten year old. The situation has changed suddenly, and I try to think of any program that we can use to help her. But nothing but nothing comes to mind. There is nothing that can be done until the score is raised with the possible exception of a co-signer. After our conversation is over I promptly pass her situation on to my bosses to see if they can help.

With the loan part of the problem passed on to others, I go back to reflecting on her family. The lost life of her husband who will never meet Gary, and will never play catch with his oldest boy again. Then the tragic reality of this happening all over our wonderful country hits me. I am speechless, and a little stunned by the situation we Americans have accepted as normal. Only one thought comes to mind. A quote from Ron Paul in one of the debates. "When I see these young men coming home, my heart weeps for them".

End this war

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For me

There has got to be more to the story and it's just not adding up here.

There was a life ins. policy when he left and all In the US armed forces Going to war have to get a power of atty prior to going out on DET. they also have to fill out a living will. There is also a combat pay death benefit as well as SS death benefits that go to the children not her. She would have to be 60 to to claim a spouse death benefit from SS. Now since she was married to the man she is entitled to medical converage via the VA as are her children indefinitely. If she gets remarried she will lose the coverage, however, the children will not. If she chose to be seen at an MTF-military treatment Facility there are zero copays and zero prescription cost when filled at the MTF. If she has chosen to see a private Dr. the copay is 12 dollars and the prescriptions are capped at 9 dollars. Well it is for now if obama care goes into effect it will Tripple.

Now if her husband had any credit debt prior to marriage all that is needed is a copy of the Death cert sent to the creditors even if its a community property state. If they have CC debt togehter she is still able to have a portion of that debt forgiven. That is covered under the SSCRA- Soldiers and Sailors Relief act. It's there for a reason so take advantage of it.

If she owns her home free and clear I don't see where she is a risk with DTR-debt to ratio for a loan, she doesn't have negative equity. That is by definition an underwritters dream regardless of a FICO score.

If she is late on her truck pmts she can ask for up to 3 extensions a year legally through whomever she financed through. She will have to pay the interest and penalties the actual pmt will be tacked on to the end of the loan terms.

Here's another one under the Post 911 Bill she is entitled as well as her children to recieve his GI bill.

What I suggest she does is contact the FRO-Family Readiness Officer for the unit her husband was in. They will then provide her with all the resources she seeks now as well as financial ones.


The SGLI is 400K THe Life ins is around 650K.

I can't believe...

There are no charities set up in America to help widows of fallen soldiers... I saw one in Britain and Australia, but not here in America. It may be a good idea to try and start one. Looking into it now.

EDIT: Nevermind... There are some... just have to google the right words.


Do not forget

the other homeowner's expenses; taxes and insurance. Mine run approx. $275 p/mo. If you do not pay your taxes you lose your home.

Bankruptcy will effect any future loans for many years no matter what your credit score is.

"And they don't even know what they are fighting for"

Another Ron Paul quote on our senseless wars.

Sounds Unlikely to me

Honestly she got paid $400,000 in a lump sum when he died less than 2 years ago according to her story and has an SBP program that pays her the same as someone on 100% disability gets.

In my opinion she was lying on the phone and is turning this into a sob story that quite frankly I don't buy a second of it.




400k in life insurance does nothing, she probably paid off her house (thus she owns it outright) and that is as far as it will get her (I used to be a financial adviser so I know something about it). SSI pays basically nothing, at least nothing you can really live on. I am not sure about her disability benefits so I don't know what the income on that is, but if she isn't working and only collecting disability plus a small SSI payment she probably isn't seeing a big income, so she could easily be having financial issues as she tries to raise two children by herself. Your skepticism seems a bit ridiculous to me considering the facts. Sure she could be making something up, or simply was bad with her money, but her story is easily true and not something to ignore.

The 400K

Is the SGLI death benefit. The Life Ins was well over 650K. She won't get his SS that goes to the Children. She would have to be 60 and never remarried to receive that from SS. The Death Bene is paid through the DOD. I don't think the person was being ridiculous with the skeptism. I'm skeptical too....

Thank you for posting

Posted on Twitter.
Hope a few neo-cons get educated.

LL on Twitter: http://twitter.com/LibertyPoet
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Love won! Deliverance from Tyranny is on the way! Col. 2:13-15

end this war - end all wars

end this war - end all wars - amen to that sisters and brothers

and should your heart stop feeling at the border, ignoring the suffering of a multitude of peoples who have lost not only their spouses but entire families and even their country, in far away places that you will never visit...

...I fear, the lesson is lost and in time, the lust for war will rage once again and many times more after that.

When all the people love all the people, then maybe this sorry world of ours will know war no more.

"At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love"

My heart goes out for the woman.

This is the hidden price that the public doesn't hear about, nor does the media cover.

Yellow ribbons, "thank you for your service", parades, military discounts at the local store will not solve her struggles nor heal her pain that her husband's death was "worth it".

Conscience does not exist if not exercised

"No matter how cynical you get, it's impossible to keep up!
---Lily Tomlin

The true cost of war is

The true cost of war is staggering! They print money to pay for it--easy come easy go. But to act as if the lives of the soldiers and their families are just as disposable? That breaks my heart!

She needs to file a chapter 7

keep the house (reaffirm) and dump the vehicle if it is under water or keep it if it isn't. Eliminate all unsecured debt (medical bills, credit cards, etc).Eliminate car payment. If you didn't tell her this, you didn't help her. She can have a fresh start and a whole new outlook on life - easy as pie.


do not see medical as a real debt. Not in the real sense. And if that is the reason her score took a beating then it's a wash. Don't forget to count her current FIXED income as 125%. Remember you can count it as 125% as opposed to counting rental income at 75%. If she owns the propety free and clear I don't see the problem. Chapt 7 is her last resort. There also are groups out there that will help wives of vets who died for their country. She can do a google search in for her area.

Keepin' it real.

She's battling the VA to pay

She's battling the VA to pay off her medical bills right now. I think financially she will be fine since she owns her home outright. And yes, getting rid of the truck payment would be smart, but I guess she figures she can keep it if she can get equity out. I guess she's trying to avoid filing bankruptcy if possible. Thanks for the advice though, i'll pass that along to the LO working with her.

"Where liberty is, there is my country." -Benjamin Franklin

Credit Score

Will go way up post bankruptcy due to cebt to income ratio is the problem. Eliminate debt- score goes right up.