I have some new rules for Mike Bloomberg to live bySubmitted by amc1953 on Tue, 07/31/2012 - 16:05
Mayor Bloomberg has been in the news a lot lately. He seems to feel that the american people are too stupid to decide for themselves how big of a drink to buy or whether or not to breastfeed their children and too irresponsible to own a gun. Since he has an ivy league education and 22 billion dollars he thinks that he has the responsibility to help us make these decisions, for our own good.
Well since I believe all men are created equal I feel I have just as much authority as he does to make these kind of decisions so I have come up with some new rules for the mayor to live by. Trust me Mike, these are for your own good.
In the future you will be allowed only one cup of coffee each day. Caffeine is not good for you. As of today you are now a vegetarian. This should help your cholesterol level. If you can still get it up at your age, You will have sex exactly 3 times a week with your live in girlfriend. That is proven to help keep you healthy. Missionary position only. When you wipe your ass you will use 3 squares of tissue only. We have to save the trees. You will go the the gym and exercise 5 days a week for 2 hours each day. I am still working out the details of your workout routine.I will get back to you on that. And in the future when you are naughty and recommend laws that violate the constitution you will pull down your pants and have your girlfriend give you 20 lashes on your bare ass with a switch. I have some more ideas in mind. I will let you know the rest of the rules when I work out the details.