4 a laugh: How to Make Homemade Stadium Hotdogs

I love stadium hotdogs - the smell of them, the taste, and the look of them. I just don’t like the price of them. Last time I went to a ballgame I ate 4 stadium hotdogs, it cost me 20 dollars. Sometimes I went to ballgames just to get stadium hotdogs. Then one day I figured out how to make my own stadium hotdog and save a lot of money in the process. So sit back and I am going to share with you how to make your very own homemade stadium hotdog and save a lot of money in the process.

You start by driving to your favorite grocery store. So walk into the store, you have probably been there a million times but have never seen the hotdog section. Find someone who works for the grocery store (that person will probably have a nametag) once you have found that person ask that person where the hotdog section of their grocery store is. Don’t run, walk there. You will be excited, but in public you have to control yourself. You will see many choices in front of you, pick out whatever hotdog you want. I was so excited the first time I went there, because I could buy 8 for about 4 dollars. I thought to myself how much money that I have wasted in the past, not only on hotdogs but the tickets to the stadiums to buy the hotdogs. Now you need to get some kind of bread for your stadium hotdog, it doesn’t matter what kind of bread you get. You can get hotdog buns, hamburger buns, or white or wheat bread. I will tell you later in the instructions how to use all of them. Check out and go home.

Now that you are home you have the task of cooking your stadium hotdog. You have to open your package of hotdogs; I think there are two ways for doing this. The first way is using my teeth and ripping the package open, that’s the easy way. The second way is, if my wife is in the room, to either use a fork or a knife to break the package open. Now that the package is open you have to cook your stadium hot dog. There are many ways to cook your stadium hotdog but I will only show you my favorite. My favorite way of cooking my stadium hotdog that I will tell you is the fastest, the microwave. Your microwave looks like a television with buttons on the right side. Most people have a spinning thing inside of it. Once you have messed with all of the buttons and figured out how to use it. Put your hot dog inside and put the microwave on for 1 minute. Most microwaves have a window and when it is turned on you can watch your hotdog cooking. There are two ways you know your hotdog is done, the light goes off and it makes a sound that sounds like a ding or a bell. Open the door and take your hotdog out. There are also two ways to do this, with your fingers, and with a fork if your wife is around.

Now that your hot dog is cooked, it needs to be prepared the way that you like it. First you find some bread. You can use any kind of bread that you have lying around. My personal favorite is a hot dog bun with the slit on top; I used the one with a slit on bottom once, but my hot dog fell out, so I don’t recommend them. You can also use a hamburger bun or bread. Using a hamburger bun means you have to cut your hot dog in half and put them side by side on the bun. You have better like a lot of bun if you do that. You can use bread by wrapping it around the hot dog, but your hot dog will stick out of both sides and the bread will get soggy. Just go with hot dog buns because they work best.

Now that you have your stadium hot dog in a bun it is time for condiments. There are many different kinds of condiments that you can use. There is mustard, ketchup, relish, chili, onions and many others. I personally like mustard, ketchup and relish on mine. I apply my condiments with a knife; I slowly and carefully spread all of them evenly. Do not dip your stadium hot dog in the mustard because it will probably be to much and you won’t like it, not only that it might get stuck and when you are taking it out it might break. Now eat your perfect homemade stadium hot dog and enjoy.

by Brian Frank