Warning to Americans if Romney LosesSubmitted by BILL3 on Thu, 10/25/2012 - 15:15
AS you all know, the Amerian electorate is divided like never before. Emotions are running high, and the mutually acrimonious tone between the campaigns and their supporters should be a cause for grave concern for our republic.
Murmurings of discontent are in the air, the people are restless, and intonations of hostility emanate from the twittiersphere, the pulse of the nation. Veiled threats of violence pervade the national dialogue.
In the event that Mitt Romney doesn't win, I fear the anger and frustration of America's upperclasses may spill over into outright violence.
In this vein and in the spirit of public safety I offer you the following tips and guidelines for election night.
AVOID middle to upperclass neighborhoods, small businesses, and in particular suburbs and heavily Mormon areas.
If you see a crowd of predominately young Mormoms, lock your car doors and drive past quickly - do not stop.
Avoid being caught out alone on foot in a gated community or down a charming cul de sac; have an obvious escape route.
Don't travel by yourself and do not run low on gas out in the suburbs or in the vicinity of a financial district.
If you live in a predominantly suburban or rural area with a good school district, take special precautions; lock your doors and shut the lights, do not draw attention.
Particular establishments to avoid: golf courses, country clubs, or anywhere within seven miles of a Nascar venue. Know your surroundings.
Keep your cell phone and GPS charged, and use the buddy system.
If you see any groups of possible Mormoms or upperclass professionals milling about or entering an establishmnet you're in, do not engage. Move swiftly towards an area near public transport, subsidized housing, multiple checks cashed spots or a chicken shack with bulletproof glass. Romney backers should be scant.
Utah and Nevada can be expected to be special danger hot spots If any well dressed, polite Mormon missionaries approach you, RUN DON'T WALK. They know were you live, and will be pissed.
President Obama has taken note of the numerous threats to the public order and has taken proper precautions; volunteers from Obama strongholds like Detroit and Chicago will be stationed nearby polling places and on call throughout election evening to maintain domestic tranquility.