35 votes

Write-In Satan Campaign

While pondering over tomorrow's election, considering the different candidates, possible write ins, pros and cons of each, I decided that all things considered, I'm going to take the honest, principled stand. I'm not going to waste my vote on the lesser of two evils.

If I'm going to partake in evil, to condone and endorse evil, I'm going to go all the way. I'm going to write in Satan. Yes, the Prince of Darkness.

Let me explain.

Most of us realize that only two candidates have a realistic chance of winning. The third party candidates have their pros and cons, and none are ideal. So we have a choice of making a principled conscience vote or write in, or voting for the lesser of two evils among the two who can win.

Most people will choose to vote for who they consider the lesser of two evils. But there is a third option. If you're going to vote for evil, and participate in a process that produces and sanctions evil, the principled thing to do is go all in, to vote for the greater rather than the lesser evil. Who could be a better representative of our democratic virtues than Him, the Evil One himself?

Satan has a number of clear advantages.

The character of our political system has three salient features, each corresponding to a stage in the process. The campaign, the period in office, and the legacy of the elected leader.

The first stage, the campaign, embodies the evil virtue of Deceit. It selects for the greater liar, tempter and deceiver. The greatest rewards flow to the greatest practitioner of the virtue of deception, so key to our democratic process. Who better than the Father of Lies to exemplify and represent this virtue?

The second stage in our political system is the period in office. The purpose of this stage is theft on a grand scale, both for the personal aggrandizement of the office holder and the looting of its public and private resources for the benefit of those who are most engaged and invested in the process.

While there are many other contenders who are well suited and skilled in theft, Satan lays over them in both substance and style. The other contenders can only rob you of your dignity and honor tomorrow. When you grip your hand on that dirty lever, you give up both. But only Satan can rob your soul along with it.

Finally, the legacy of any great leader today is surely commensurate with his body count. The measure of greatness for every reign of glory is a heap of mangled corpses. In the long run, looking backward and summing up, the ability of the average man to participate in mass murder on an immense scale, to really feel part of it, is one of democracy's crowning achievements. The evil virtue of Murder is the prized and coveted laurel of any real master at the game. Could any possible opponent really compete with Satan in the domain of showering death upon the innocent?

Formalism is the great sunlight and disinfectant in politics. To bring things aboveboard and into the open, to make the real nature of the system correspond to its stated purpose, to make the de facto, de jure.

Tomorrow, I want you all to look deep within your conscience, examine your relationship with this political system, consider the inadequacy of its representatives, their half hardheartedness and wishy washy commitment to it. Their shallow embrace of its evil nature.

Put aside the impulse to do the practical thing, to compromise, to choose the lesser evil in a system that attracts, rewards and produces evil. Vote for the greater of all evils, pick the true heir and representative of the machinery of lies, theft and mass murder.

Vote Satan, and unburden your conscience. You will sleep better.

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Friggin Hilarious

Well written. Here Here.

egapele's picture

Get this, I was a poll worker today - there were five write-ins,

four for Ron Paul and one for ... GOD.

Jesus Christ was also written in for Soil & Water Conservation Dep't.


Don't withdraw totally from voting

I fear people whom don't like the choices for Pres. will not vote at all.
Skip votes on the ballot you want but make sure you go and vote for or
against measures on those ballots that could effect your life at home!
There were 4 questions on my ballot besides candidates and each one
was asking to spend more of our money, thats why I went to vote today.

PS voted for Johnson cause we didn't have write-ins in my state.

Go Ron Paul 2016!

Why write him in? He's

already on the ballot!

Thanks Bill3, I used this

Thanks Bill3, I used this joke at my toastmasters meeting today and it got a lot of laughs.

Southern Agrarian

awesome, spread the joy.

awesome, spread the joy.

I hope no one thinks I'm

I hope no one thinks I'm actually gonna write in Satan. The moral of the post is to abstain from participating in an evil system. Just a little humor to lift your spirits and offer moral support to us non voters.

There are occasions when voting might be appropriate for practical reasons. This is the case the there's a reasonable possibility of drastically changing the system. But in general, by voting you are granting legitimacy to the system and at least implicitly endorsing its outcomes.

I think the moral thing to do is withdraw consent and not play the game.

I'm a little disappointed, actually - lol!

I know there is not room on the "write in " line to put your entire post, but it sure was fun thinking you might try - lol!

Love or fear? Chose again with every breath.

I Got It

...don't think I didn't by my post. I actually tried to go in the direction of humor and had some thoughts that made me laugh, but then went in a different direction.

Was a creative article. Thank you.


Sounds like...

...a modest proposal to me. :)

Away to hell with satan!


" In Thee O Lord do I put my trust " ~ Psalm 31:1~

So are you saying....

....Satan should go to Washington, DC?




When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign: that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. ~J. Swift

Here's more

Here's more Betty!LOL!


If my need to be RIGHT is greater than my desire for TRUTH, then I will not recognize it when it arrives ~ Libertybelle

cool. ;p I lovecraft

cool. ;p I lovecraft

Just what Satan would say.

It's a satanic argument.

Now get thee behind me.

But Satan's already on the ballot. Twice.

If I was American I would just vote 3rd Party or write in Ron Paul. Even if the system is rigged and useless. All we need is the media to latch on to the shocking growth in Satanists in America so that the "Jesus Will Bomb You Act" can get passed or something batshitcrazy like that.

I appreciate the humour but it's time badly spent in my opinion.

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience"—Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Don't give the gov't any more ideas!

I can see the establishment now...."'Jesus Will Bomb You Act' hmmmmmmm Sounds easy to pitch, what could we use this for?" haha
But thanks for your support from abroad. I wish I could bump this twice.

"There is only one kind of freedom and that's individual liberty. Our lives come from our creator and our liberty comes from our creator. It has nothing to do with government granting it." -Ron Paul

Thank you. I appreciate it.

Funny that you could see that kind of craziness actually happen.

I'm glad to support my human family no matter what invisible lines on a map "divide" us. We're all in this together and we're WINNING THIS TOGETHER!

Whatever the election selection results are today in the Muppet Show 2012, I hope you all remain safe, vigilant and UNITED moving forward.

2013 - The Beginning Is Near.

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience"—Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

That is stupid: Why write in

That is stupid: Why write in Satan when you already have at least 2 evils?

Conscience Unburdoned

At first I was really turned off by this article. When it settled in my mind, I found myself wanting to thank the OP.

When faced with "evil" of which "Satan" is the personification, what is the best course for me?

Would I fail to confront it with "goodness" just because my choice might not "seem" to be counted?

Would I be "tempted" to choose some mix of "goodness" and inherent "evil" hoping that "goodness" would win in the end? (ie the means justifies the end)

Would I choose to side with evil, patting myself on the back, for calling out the kettle as being black?

Or would I welcome the opportunity to write-in on a slip of paper or pull a switch in a rigged machine that allowed me to write in "goodness." Every time, I would choose "goodness." In the election season, I welcome the opportunity to "write-in" goodness although it may seem to bethe name is just that of a fellow human being. One who consistently stood for me on the side of reason, truth and goodness. I vote for his message.

I try to never go biblical on a non-spiritual thread; however, when the name of Satan is used, even in jest, I feel his opposite can be mentioned. In all religions there are references to "goodness vs. evil." Even in the best of humanistic writing, "goodness" is often invoked in very positive ways. So forgive me if I offend anyone, but from my personal background I justify my write-in with a few verses that are important to me when justifying the choice of "goodness"...Romans 8-35-39.

Thank you OP for the mental/spiritual exercise. In the end, I liked it!



Free Slayer mix-tapes for everyone!

or Vermin Supreme.

at least he's real.

We can only be kept in the cages we do not see. - Stefan Molyneux

You are a function of what the whole universe is doing in the same way that a wave is a function of what the whole ocean is doing. - Alan Watts

Cthulhu or

I thought when we wanted evil we voted for Cthulhu? Or what about Aleister Crowley. He's even got a campaign site. ;-) http://ac2012.com



I know this is just a Satanical, excuse me, Satirical Writing (Or maybe you really are sincere) but A write-in campaign for SATAN?!

I suggested Here a month ago that we start a write-in campaign for the other S word. Santa.

All you have to do is move the (N)egativity and you have a much better choice.

This Article has 22 up votes for Satan in less than 24 hours, but Santa has -2 votes over a months time?!

You have got to be Shit ing me!

~Good Night, And Good Luck~

I didn't know

Dick Cheney was on the ballot.


Very clever. However, satan can only manifest by possession of weak, vulnerable human beings. Only then can he directly act through those poor possessed vassals. Since everyone in high office (except Ron Paul) is clearly under satan's influence, voting for anyone on the ballot would be commensurate with a vote for satan. Since this is clearly the case, the only logical course of action is: DON'T VOTE!

i will drink to that

i will drink to that

Voting for Satan? No thanks.

Voting tomorrow will be depressing enough. How about voting for Jesus?

Ann in Florida

yeah Ann- Im kinda with you on that one

I appreciate the clever irony being suggested, but as the years go by, its becoming apparent that the only positive decisions to be made anymore will be individual ones- the ones each of us make.