25 votes

Leaked! Internal GOP Memo, post-election analysis

Internal memo: Post election analysis from Romney campaign

1:00 a.m east; 11/7/12


Sheesh, that was a doozy.

Ok, I know we've taken our licks, but we've just got to take it on the chin and figure out what we did wrong, and how we can win the next go around in four years.

I'm personally a little flabbergasted, I feel like we did everything right, we worked the blueprint, but we just didn't do ENOUGH of it to really win the hearts and minds of the American people.

We need to redouble our efforts for 2016, and hammer home on the following key points.

1) Take a harder line on our enemies. The American people want strength, not weakness. To show that strength we need to ratchet up the rhetoric against countries like Iran, Russia, and Zambia that threaten our national interests - no appeasement.

Americans are a strong and musical people, and there's nothing like beating the war drums to get them to shimmy and shake their fat asses on down to the polls.

2) Reach out to Hispanic voters! This cannot be stressed enough. Whatever they want, whatever it takes - open borders, amnesty, free health care, education - it is key that we pick up at least .7 to 1.2 percent more Hispanic voters to really tip the scales and show the democrats. It's simple math - if we pick up 1% of the new immigrant vote a year, then with the power of exponents we'll have over 100% of all new immigrants in a matter of years.

We will show the Democrats in 2016!

3) We need to get back to the basics. Focus on the really important issues, that average folks care about deep in their hearts, and talk about around the dinner table. Gay marriage and partial birth abortion. Yes, not many of our voters actually sit around a dinner table with their families, those with intact marriages, but many do. And those that do, these are the things they talk about. We need to be party of flags, not fags.

4) Exclude the kooky, fringe elements from the party. If we want to compete with the democrats, we need to project the right image. A big tent invites the wrong crowd. We have a good thing going here; many of us have lucrative, well paying careers in this party; we don't want to open to every Tom, Dick and Harry. These kinds of losers are bringing us down.

It should be our strategy (confidential, eyes only) to send as many of these low lives and dirt bags into the Democrats and third parties as we can, let them deal with them. Keep us in shape, poison the enemies ranks. Like a trojan horse. I know, its brilliant.

The GOP needs to project a clean cut, white collar, suit and tie image. We don't need any long haired, scraggly, pot smoking punks messing up our image. Watch fox news. What do you see? It's like some kind of orgasmic 1984 meets Leave it to Beaver mindf-ck of a paraellel universe; Fascism with a friendly face. Busty blondes with that that look of bloodlust in their eyes - sex sells.

Also, enough talk about repealing Obamacare. If the people want condoms, give them condoms. We've got to stick with what works - whenever the Democrats pass something that radically expands the size and scope of government - we've got to oppose it tooth and nail - for one election cycle. After that, we embrace it wholeheartedly, and even add our own little touches here and there, spif it up. People love that stuff, and it really unites the party.

If we stick to these principles, but drive them home with greater intensity and commitment than before, in four years we will be unstoppable. Everything is looking up, the future is ours. The only way to get out of a hole is to keep digging, digging, digging, until you've leveled the whole ground, and then you're back on top.

2016 boys, 2016. Let's roll.

(session participants: Karl Rove, Charles Krauthammer, and that fat guy who does the polls on fox, and some other fscks)

Trending on the Web

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

DP worthy creative, and flat

DP worthy creative, and flat out LOL funny!

I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be. Albert Einstein



writer of this is awesome

Kind of reminds me of hunter s thompson for some reason

i really appreciate that

i really appreciate that


this reads like satire.

but with the gop, a lot of their stuff does.

so it could be real....

Enter this in political writing contest

Go to Allvoices.com and enter it into the American Pundit contest. Two winners every two weeks. $250 and a chance at the $5,000 one.



This was only until Nov 6th.

This was only until Nov 6th.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of Divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.

For a second I thought this

For a second I thought this was a truthful post...

as far as i know is.

as far as i know is.

where was this meet up?

Where was this leaked?
How did you come by it?
Where did this group meet so I can write them
some mind altering views?


Pagans are tolerant by NATURE.



If this memorandum is real,

If this memorandum is real then the GOP is cruisin' for another brusin' in 2016. LoL



I know I just can't sleep at night worrying when the Zambians are gonna drop the bomb.

I'm sure this has nothing to do with stealing natural resources, installing a central bank and the petro dollar. Just look at them. Clearly a threat to the world are these Zambians.


haven't you seen them

haven't you seen them sneakily carrying pots to and fro on their heads. thats uranium.

Of course it's real!

It's posted on the Daily Paul!

Be brave, be brave, the Myan pilot needs no aeroplane.

well ...YEAH!

... ;)