8 votes

The Onion: Ron Paul Elected Ruler Of Planet Inhabited By 1 Billion Tiny Ron Pauls

The picture alone is worth clicking...

"NEW TEXAS, GALAXY OF LIBERTARIUS—In the largest political victory of his career, Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) was elected Supreme Ruler of the planet of New Texas today, a remote, fiscally conservative planet populated by 1 billion tiny versions of himself.

"My people, I stand before you today to announce that I, Ron Paul of Earth, accept this position as your planet’s benevolent ruler," said Emperor-elect Paul, smiling before millions of 18-inch-high Ron Pauls, who alternately applauded, cheered, and chanted, "You are our supreme leader," at a victory rally held minutes after the Ron Paul News Network declared him the projected winner of the 2012 election. "From this day forth, the planet of New Texas shall be a veritable utopia for Ron Pauls of all sizes."


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Not funny

"Ron Paul" and "Supreme Leader" doesn't compute. Just another attempt to picture the movement as a cult.

I don't really get the joke.

But little do they who wrote it know how many people across the planet wish they could have elected Ron Paul (and not just mini-Ron Paul replicas, which appears to be a dis of RP supporters).

me neither


I want an 18 inch Ron Paul to

I want an 18 inch Ron Paul to put on my desk

20 Years later... New Texas

20 Years later... New Texas has been found to be the most peaceful, prosperous and healthy place to live in the galaxy and the real estate values continue to rise to astronomical levels as the New Texans refuse to sellout to anyone that doesn't understand Liberty, even with record breaking offers pouring in from around the Universe.

New Texas currency and banking has become the envy of the Universe as well, and was quickly adopted by the majority of the debt free planets. Sadly, Earth was unable to take advantage of the ideas born from her and continues to struggle with social unrest and war under the 7th Obama/Bidenclone Administration.

Wouldn't it need some females?

...just saying....

(although that might be taking 'tiny versions of him' too literally)

Integrity means having to say things that people don't want to hear & especially to say things that the regime doesnt want to hear -RonPaul

Sounds good...

is real estate cheap there? :)

I don't play, I commission the league.

I'm moving to New Texas

On a side note, should we make Ron Governor of Texas?

Beam me up Dr Paul

I'm IN! (or on or up or whatever)

I'm in

Not sure I get the reference.

Is the suggestion only libertarians could coexist with other libertarians?

That Ron Paul lives in his own world?

That Ron Paul espouses limited government, but would actually be a dicatator as president?

That only a world with abundant gold can return to the gold standard?


Oh, well. Any PR is good PR.

It's a joke.

It's a joke.

gee, you think?



Even for the Onion this is pretty stupid.



I would move there...

“It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succour of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evil in the fields that we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till." -J.R.R. Tolkien

I Think You Mean...

...you would orbit there. (Unless you are Ron Paul). :)


I think we're all the tiny versions of him