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Getting a Good Buzz From Your Relationships

This post is for the single men out there who are really looking to find their soul mate. Do you want to get a real good buzz from your next relationship?

In three days my roommate's girlfriend goes back to Europe. After that then it's just two guys on the town and look out! I myself am recovering from an intense relationship that lasted only about 3 months total. She just up and left 3 days ago due to the intensity of our relationship. It was just a little to hot for her and it was expectedly abnormal to be in that intense a relationship with someone she barely knew.

That’s how I like to do it though. I see no reason for love to take years to brew before it becomes intense. We only have so many hours, minutes and days in this form. It’s imperative that we squeeze as much love out of every moment that we possibly can. I’m convinced that is the most powerful force in the universe and to spread LOVE is our best defense against the evil powers that control the attention spans of most on our planet.

My roommate and I get along really good. This morning his girlfriend ditched him and we just hung out all morning and complained about women. I’m not in any way trying to talk him into breaking up with his girlfriend. On the contrary I think they are great together. Should have seen them Texas Two-Stepping, I was all smiling and living vicariously through them ;)

With respect to our vibrant discussion about women, I was just generally saying "yeah - that does really bite about women but they all do it,” to pretty much everything he was going through. Point is men, they are very simple creatures. In fact they may be just as simple as we are. Now am I a “relationship expert?” No definitely not. In fact this post could ruin all your relationships to come just by putting an idea of how things should be into your head so read on at your own risk...

Apparently my roommate’s girlfriend split from him once too. Three times actually. Just up and took off with no notice whatsoever. They’ve now been together for 5 years. True love takes real commitment, from a man. It is my assertion that women are by nature unable to commit and hence it is survival of the fittest. We men must prove ourselves on a daily basis. That can be looked on as a curse but it may also be the reason many successful men in this world can dedicate their success to someone they love.

You can expect nothing but conflict when you take two separate lives and thrust them together, especially in the form I am advocating for. 72 years of combined experiences to morph together overnight! Ker-POW! That’s a lot of data to compile! Things are bound to overheat occasionally. I would like to teach (if I thought I knew something) a course on "love creation." So basically treat love like a roller coaster. If you never get on it you'll never truly experience what it's like.

People in today’s society, largely in part due to the overly negative mass media, have to go through so many walls of fear in order to trust each other. Let’s put this into perspective:

For every event of someone being harmed which is the majority of what the LAME stream covers, there are literally billions of events where someone smiles. We are being generally defrauded that you cannot by and large trust people. We’re being conditioned to not trust each other as a result of the corporations' agendas that profit when we pay attention. That profit when we do not trust our neighbor.

When our goals are: Love, trust and security why not just start there? Trust is the eventual goal, yet we hold back our own trust from another even though we want their trust too. It's kind of insane when you think about it. Obviously real trust must be earned. The question is can we constantly be on guard for anything which may cause conflict, that has it’s source in our issues of trust? If we can bite our tongues in those cases for even just a couple of weeks, the resulting rewards are bound to give us the positive reinforcement to carry on.

God forbid you can't trust the individual. Of course they may steal your money and you should obviously not fly to Calcutta with someone you barely know but short of that why would you not go all-in from the get-go?

Call it a fairy tale! Every woman loves a lifetime special. Ask her on your first date if she would like to participate in one. Tell her your dream date would be with someone who is generally tired of dating and would like to put all her cards on the table from day one. If you are both good people, commit from day one. Trust from day one. These two things, trust and commitment, will give you both the security to be able to open up, from day one. You can be kids again :)

If you can and you start there, the result is MAGICAL!

I’m telling you we did it that way. I asked her if we could commit from the first moment we knew we really liked each other. I just wanted us to be able to trust each other, period. We could realize that if we are both good people we were done looking because we're both so tired of the search and all we had to do now was to work on a great relationship.

That is a very tough road to hoe. It takes a daily commitment to not fall back into old ways of thinking about relationships. It was one continuous moment in time for each of us. Now just imagine the kind of relationship we had. It was only possible because we allowed it to happen (any two people can do this). It was by definition a fairy tale. Will she be back? Only time will tell but I believe I have stumbled onto a very real way to help others find an intense love of their own. Like all new ideas there's bound to be a few false starts. It's all part of the scientific method. In this case it's about finding out how to create "better love."

All you need is two individuals who are ready to take that kind of leap.

With respect to women that just up and split for no good reason, some men may consider that those are girls that are just unstable. Yea blame them, maybe they just don't want to put up with our crap anymore, ever considered that?

I met a girl in a pizza place two days ago. She was very nice and was sitting there alone. I honestly just didn’t want to eat alone so I put myself out there and asked for an invitation to sit down. She smiled and said she would appreciate the company.

She apparently split on her fiance 3 times! Man, women can be torturous beings!

...so the girl I met at the pizza place who split 3 separate times from her fiance has been with him for 3 years straight now. She got tired of splitting and he was able to weather the storm. I guess if the woman up and leaves you with no notice that is a good thing?

So that is the goal men: Find a woman who will up and leave you. She'll make you feel like hell while she is gone because you have no idea when she may be back. She's just scared that's all. Hopefully she will return someday when that fear subsides.

...and perhaps put you through this hell multiple times.

BREAKING NEWS: That is the key to happiness :)

~v



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There is much in your post

There is much in your post that I find interesting... particularly when you emphasize the obvious dangers when any two individuals (male and female) go about relating on an intimate level. Concerning marriage, GK Chesterton wrote:
"The two must hold each other to do justice to each other. If Americans can be divorced for 'incompatibility of temper' I cannot conceive why they are not all divorced. I have known many happy marriages, but never a compatible one. The whole aim of marriage is to fight through and survive the instant when incompatibility becomes unquestionable. For a man and a woman, as such, are incompatible."

There you have it... man and woman are in their natures, incompatible. But that is the challenge of trust, commitment and love in the dance they do.

But I do not necessarily agree with everything you write, of course. I just found it interesting, that's all. It is my experience that a huge part of a relatively happy balance between guy and gal is understanding their gender related needs they each seek to have met in the relationship. Perhaps 'expectations' is a better word than 'need'. Still, in this regard, I am convinced that in our modern world, men and women do not understand that they each are desiring something somewhat different from the other.

Note: What I am about to write holds true in a marriage relationship, and not necessarily in a dating relationship or while seeking a mate. At those stages, a whole host of other factors also apply.
As for a woman, it's about unconditional LOVE. A woman needs to KNOW she is loved - even when she does not feel lovable, look lovely or act lovingly. That love from her mate must be always reaffirmed. It is work, and why not? He will no doubt fail to reassure her strongly enough at times, but continue to love her unconditionally he MUST. His love CANNOT be a thing she must earn, or there will be trouble unending.. until it all ends.

That is not what a man needs in order to feel the relationship is worthwhile and to keep him there. A man needs unconditional RESPECT. He must feel her respect even when he is not necessarily acting in accord with it. In other words, all the conditions previously mentioned in regard to a woman's need for unconditional love, hold true for a man with regard to respect. And there in lies the rub in our western society. People seem to have no problem speaking in terms of "unconditional love", but mention "unconditional respect", and they wrinkle up their noses and consider it a contradiction in terms. Respect must be earned, right? Bullcrap! Respect must be a precondition from the get-go, just as love must be, or there will be trouble unending.. until it all ends.

Aretha Franklin made famous the song "RESPECT", but few know that the lyrics were actually composed by a man, with a few words altered to make it sound as if it were from a woman to a man. Instead of 'when you come home' it was 'when I come home', for example. Read the words and it is obvious that it was written by a man who was in need of greater respect from a woman he loved.

I submit that if you find a husband who really does love his wife unconditionally, and the wife respecting him unconditionally, you will find a couple happy in their obvious incompatibility. This does not mean that each will show love and respect in convincing ways all the time. of course they won't. But if they do as a rule and not as an exception to the rule, then the marriage will be rewarding for both. A woman who KNOWS she is loved unconditionally can trust her man, even when he does things that are not necessarily in her best interest. That is because if he truly loves her in that way, he will never do anything intentionally that is not in her best interest. This makes it far easier for her to respect him in the way he needs. Likewise, in respecting him unconditionally, it becomes far easier for him to display his unconditional love. Regardless of the others behavior though, the love/respect must remain unconditional or the relationship will become a heartless nightmare for one, and then both eventually.

Also, men can help their own cause by realizing that no matter what our sophisticated society claims about male female partnerships, men must be the leader and behave as such. I would suggest taking a look at this book:
http://marriedmansexlife.com/books/primer/

Thank you.

As far as expectations go, would it be too much to ask my woman to trust me even though I haven't necessarily earned HER trust? If we start a relationship from no-trust then you really don't get a chance to know someone until maybe 5 or 6 months down the road.

Letting down the walls seems impossible to some but IMO it's much more efficient. The "usual" way to handle relationships is to built an 'addiction' to the significant other's presence - for like I said - 5 or 6 months - and then one day you say "Hey this is who I really am! Surprise!"

It was meant as a spiritual guide for myself and thought it would be interesting for someone else to read.

The only thing in most cases that prevents people from trusting others is their attachments to material wealth and possessions. There is a big risk factor in trusting someone but IMO there is an equally big reward.

I think it can be argued quite effectively that lack of love and trust in our society are probably the greatest factors impeding our society's maturity.

Suffice it to say that

Suffice it to say that showing trust in a man is a huge part of him feeling respected.

Really! Anyone that makes you work that hard or think that hard

Really just isn't right for you. When it happens, it's very very easy. You will know.
It won't be confusing, or hard to understand. It will be just right. Don't over-think. Don't over-question. It just happens. Believe me.
When the right one comes along, it's so easy to spot. Please wait for it and don't undo yourself with all this nonsense. It will be worth the wait.
XOXOXOX

Colchester, New London County, Connecticut

This was just an experiment in increasing the intensity

of a relationship. No need to read into it more than it is. It seems as some did not observe the hidden points of truth regarding trust and honor. This is a proposal of how relationships should go and not how we have been conditioned to believe they must be.

As always I do not constrain myself to the box that is "psychology" prescribed for me.

yah

in terms of how real relationship go, we've all been conditioned by movies and TV shows. Things you see in movies do not happen in real life, guy buys girl necklace they live happily ever after. this type of environment is what bring men down and why they never understand as they are a good person, why women reject them over and over again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmKGLe9DOb4&feature=share&lis...

His name is Edward Snowden

What is Capitalism?
http://youtu.be/yNF09pUPypw

i like your post

but this is far from reality in today's society. NOTE The opposite of Love is not Hate, The opposite of Love is Boring. When something is boring you dont care for it, it does not stimulate you. you can care less about it. Hate is an intense emotion and so is Love. This is why every guy asks "why does she like him, he is an asshole and yet she keeps running after him over and over again. doesnt she get it by now?"

well yeah he is, but no she is not stupid. She is simply going with her instincts. He provides the Emotion, she responds. The way of the Jungle.

truth is men are able to find attraction in women by looks, women find attraction in men through their Behavior. I DONT CARE HOW MUCH MONEY YOU HAVE OR GOOD LOOKING YOU ARE, If your behavior isnt a super happy fun positive one, then a woman is going to pick up on it and Reject you. sorry thats the way the world works.

funny thing is if a woman find a mans social behavior attractive, then your looks, money, job, etc. doesnt really matter at all. all that matters is your vibe, then you can be the one who runs away before getting married ;)

His name is Edward Snowden

What is Capitalism?
http://youtu.be/yNF09pUPypw

It's called a RED FLAG, BUYER BEWARE!!!

Listen, any woman that behaves like that is trouble, plain and simple. You should not put up with anyone that's going to string you along like that. Don't try and rationalize and make excuses for it. Reclaim your sanity, don't be a pushover for an insane person that wants you to be crazy like them. There very well may not be enough good women to go around but I'd rather stay single my whole life than settle for an incomplete person. Think dude, THINK!

if you only invite Women into your bed who have thier head,

screwed on straight, your bed will be empty most of the time. your advice is good and sound, but the Black Keys say it better...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlZD2GD0H8I

I was in no way a pushover.

I set my boundaries. I stood my ground. When she wanted to leave she was free to go however when we were together there were going to be no boundaries.

That's how to experience love in the fast lane. Most people can't handle this because they are perpetually invested in the breakup and not the moment to moment interaction with their significant other. If you can ONLY focus on the moment without fear of the future or regret of the past there is no reason you can't love as freely as you want to.

It's not gonna kill ya.

ummm...

Take your meds or check yourself back into the mental ward.

The key to happiness is making yourself happy. You cannot expect anyone else to be responsible for the way you feel about life.

Seriously.. not trying to be mean but this post is ridiculous.

'Peace is a powerful message.' Ron Paul

I wish I could up your post

just one more time. The only sensible comment here. Yep, I'm a woman, lots of relationships gone and gone by. Everything I see here is nonsense.

Colchester, New London County, Connecticut

I have posted this as an advertisment

of what I would like to create in a relationship. Not what is "socially acceptable" to those who have spent their lives building walls of protection around them.

This method would not be advised for the faint of heart... as was noted in the post. I'm sorry you feel it is inappropriate.

Unfortunate the audience feels ad hominem attacks

as well as medical diagnoses from persons likely not qualified to make them and certainly not from some writings over the internet...

Take your meds or check yourself back into the mental ward.

are worth some up-votes.

Perhaps just not interested in having a feel-good post get a little traction? I'm not really seeing the need for these negative vibes. I see nothing that requires that I should speak in my defense for whatever words I put on a page.

only will work if both are

only will work if both are truly good people. But good luck out there.

"and the truth shall make you free"
John 8:32