3 votes

The show Doomsday Preppers needs a total rewrite

I need to know where to submit this to DHS/NSA

TONIGHT on Doomsday Preppers.

Across the country in a secret network of sick sociopaths from all walks of life are taking whatever steps necessary to TURN INTO DOMESTIC TERRORIST BLOOD SUCKING VAMPIRES WHO HATE AMERICA AND SHOULD BE TAKEN OUT WITH PREDATOR DRONES OR SHOT ON SIGHT BECAUSE THEY ARE NASTY AND ICKY AND HATE BARNEY THE DINOSAUR. And that's why the federal government is arming everybody from the milk man up. These people are probably tunnelling under your house now. They probably have hidden cameras in your bedroom. They can probaby tap into your email. And they are coming to get you right now, this very instant so call the cops on them. Because their natural foods turn you into Taliban Islamists that are taking over and Christmas with nobody but a Bildo and some Hannitizer to save us from your evil ways.

Watch now as we expose them and so far only one had his gun rights taken away by responsible citizens just like you.

Mr. Racoon hat, our prepper experts rate you 5 out of 5 dumb asses for letting us into your house. Additionally, your preps were awesome until we came along and now you don't have your guns. Oh well the state will be by shortly to collect your animals and your coffee maker.

NEXT WEEK ON DOOMESDAY DUMB SUCKERS we get another well prepared family to tell you evil blood suckers to get a free meal to do your duty as citizens and report on anybody else that saves any further than lunch.

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There, isn't that more along the lines of what holy government and their mercenaries are looking for?