I Breed Prize-winning Clams.
I’m sitting in frustration; well actually I’m sitting in Pennsylvania in a state of frustration. Wait a minute, the state I’m in is Pennsylvania. But I’m frustrated because the new software I need for my business did not arrive as expected today. So I thought I’d jot down my thoughts on a few subjects for your consideration. How serious I am about these matters is up to the reader to decode. Anyway, in the wake of the success of the fundraising drive I thought I’d place my tongue in my cheek and make an attempt at some second tier levity.
There is only one man for the job of vice president in Ron Paul’s administration – George Clinton.
The man has an impeccable resume. Former vice president, former governor of New York, former congressman and that’s just to start. He’s also a barber, so he could cut John Edwards’ hair. As an African-American and long time resident of New Jersey he will add balance to the ticket. With his first name being George he’ll appeal to Republicans, especially those willing to overlook past run-ins with the law and rumors of narcotics use. And, of course, what good liberal Democrat can resist a Clinton? As pilot of the Mothership, George Clinton has experience in outer space exploration. “Make mine the P” can become the slogan for the campaign without worrying about copyright infringement. And George can no doubt convince Bootsy Collins to take a cabinet post.
What to do with all of the unused space in federal prisons when the drug war ends? I would think that filling the prisons with the politicians who supported the illegal and immoral invasion of Iraq would be a good place to start. Sorting out the level of culpability would keep the courts busy for a while. After all, while George W. Bush and Hillary Clinton both deserve some sort of sanctions for their roles, their sentences should not be the same. I think I’d look at the mandatory sentencing guidelines for marijuana offenders to gauge Hillary’s punishment. I’d weigh the damage she’s done to society against that done by someone like Tommy Chong. If Tommy got 9 months in the federal pen for selling glass pipes through the mail I’d figure on 20 years for Mrs. Clinton. As for Junior Bush, life without parole is the only way to go. The only question is where? Fort Leavenworth, Gitmo, Abu Ghraib or Spandau?
The sad thing is I can’t think up a legal justification for throwing the pundits, bureaucrats, media moguls and other assorted ne’er-do-wells who helped cause this mess in jail. Give me some time, though. Maybe Ron can just forget to reinstate habeas corpus for a few days after the inauguration until Limbaugh and Frum, Perle and Murdoch, Rice and Hannity and all the rest are extraordinarily rendered away and forgotten about for a few years.
The success of the past week’s fundraising truly warms my heart. It magnified what we are seeing on the local level. And it helps to connect us in spirit to others across the land. Watching the names of the recent donors appear from each and every state was a great thing. For those of us who have been spreading the word for the past few months it is truly encouraging. I recall my thoughts at the first Meetup group event that I attended, how the group was larger and more diverse than I expected. We are called nuts, morons and kooks by those who desire the status quo, but we are really just average Americans from all walks of life who want liberty. So those who feel a need for order and conformity and who fear making decisions for themselves are afraid of us. They can’t come up with a good and reasonable argument to refute us so they call us names. I think the name calling will come back to haunt these folks. The undecideds who don’t pay a whole lot of attention to politics until late in the game won’t like it. When it hits them that these people are calling people that the undecideds love, people like Uncle Joe and Aunt Flo, the local minister, the PhD that they admire so, the nice guy next door and the lady who owns the Dairy Queen kooks and nuts it won’t go over so well. And these folks will listen to what the Ron Paul supporters that they love have to say.
While I have never delivered milk to a baseball Hall of Famer like Honus Wagner, I did have to kick football Hall of Famer Franco Harris out of my seat at a basketball game. Franco was embarrassed that he didn’t remember my name.
I pay my bills on time.