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What to do when confronted by emotional anti-gun statements by the unenlightened

A friend forwarded an email exchange between herself and another friend. My friend has a concealed carry permit because she lives alone in a pretty dicey part of town where there are frequent home invasions and the occasional gang murder.

My friend's friend (let's call her Anne) didn't know that my friend (let's call her Maria) has a gun or concealed carry permit. Anne forwarded Maria an email to sign a petition demanding that Obama get rid of the archaic 2nd amendment because normal citizens shouldn't have guns.

Maria responded in a very cool way that I think is worth sharing. (I personally might have flown off the handle.)

Instead of throwing a bunch of logic and reason and facts at Anne, Maria met her where she was, emotionally speaking, and built rapport with her.

Maria started by agreeing with Anne 100% by saying things like this:

I agree with you, what happened in CT was a horrible tragedy
I agree, I'm really upset and angry and depressed like you
I agree, we all must come together to make sure that never happens again
I agree, it's time to do something that will really work
I agree, we need to seriously examine what caused this tragedy to happen

Then Maria did a reframe...after Anne said that the solution was "gun control". Maria stayed in the emotional space where Anne was and said things like:

I'm afraid because crazy people are unpredictable and you never know what will set someone off
I'm really afraid that we've already experimented enough with things that don't work, like "gun control."
It scares me that all these mass killings keep happening in gun-free zones
I'm afraid that if we keep up this dangerous experiment with "gun free zones" that even more children will die unprotected
I'm afraid of what might happen to me if I can't defend myself in my home
I'm scared that it would only take a home invader 30 seconds to break into my bedroom but it will take the police 10 minutes to get here.
I'm afraid of being defenseless if a man kicks in my bedroom door
I'm afraid for those defenseless children.

Once Anne started thinking rationally instead of emotionally, Maria staring bringing in things like:

I had to pass a background check to get my license, and I had to get trained and tested
You know me, Anne, and you know I'm not a threat to any other law-abiding citizen
Everything that happened in CT was already illegal and didn't stop it from happening
We need to figure out what really works. We've tried gun free zones but they are a murder magnet.

Maria never, ever brought up statistics or the 2nd Amendment. She met Anne where she was, built common ground, reframed "gun free zones" into a "dangerous experiment" and "murder magnet" and agreed with Anne that "we need to find out what really works, now that we know "gun free zones" don't keep kids safe.

She did it all calmly and respectfully and in the end, Anne's response (after a few back and forth emails) was "you may be right."

Please, folks, I know we are all so passionate about this topic, but the unenlightened are not our enemies. The forces of evil are our enemies. The unenlightened are easy marks for the forces of evil, so we have to build rapport and make friends with them on a personal level, respectfully and kindly, as Dr. Paul has done for so many years. He's not a hateful name-caller, so I think he's the best possible example of how to deal with people on the other side, who are sincerely angry and upset and grasping an anything that seems like an answer.

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This is how you handle the "unwashed masses." This is how you

win over friends and family.

This is NOT how you respond to tyrants or politicians grooming for tyrannical rule.

You give tyrants your bullets. One at a time, perhaps in rapid succession, at very high velocity.

Kathleen Gee's picture

Self-bump for current events

Time to awaken some zombies...with loving kindness.

Helping Liberty candidates, crowdfunding campaigns, and entrepreneurs get the publicity they deserve.

"Evil is powerless if the good are unafraid." - Ronald Reagan

Gun free zones.

The malls and movie theaters and schools were all gun free zones. Even the Sikh temple in Wisconsin was a gun free zone.

"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the tempestuous sea of liberty" TJ

I don't bother any more

The reason why I don't bother is because people stupid enough to fall for all the crap and propaganda are not arming themselves and they won't matter. They will be fodder for bandits, badged and otherwise.

Reach those you can reach. And those you can't they are "turned", like when someone is bitten by a zombie. That person you knew is not there any more.

If guns are criminalized...

...with what shall the rule be enforced with?


A lot of people that want gun control

also believe pot should be legal (I know...crazy right?). I've found that pointing out the black market in marijuana and drawing the comparison to what a gun black market would look like tends to make them stop and start thinking.

"The truth is that neither British nor American imperialism was or is idealistic. It has always been driven by economic or strategic interests." - Charlie Reese

If gun are so evil why do government agents carry them.

To keep us safe or to keep themselves safe?

Free includes debt-free!

Gun Free Zone Statistics

Does anybody have them?
I've been looking for a study and can't find a thing.

Denise B's picture

We don't

really need a study to figure it out...the numbers are simple. 100% of the school shootings were done in "gun free zones".

Of course,

I'm just curious if there are more crimes/deaths in "gun free zones" vs. "non gun free zones". There are mass shootings done in "non gun free zones" as well, and I would assume they are fewer/smaller in magnitude, but I don't know for sure.

The only.....

.....non gun free zone "mass" shooting I can think of is the Arizona one. Drawing a blank on any others.

Anyone know of the others?

Denise B's picture

I know that

there are stats out there (Larry Pratt touches on it with his interview with Piers Morgan) that confirms that crime/death rates are much higher in "gun free zones" like New York City and Chicago than other areas of the country where guns restrictions are very limited. I will see if I can find a link for you and post it....

One place to try is Google

One place to try is Google Maps with a crime statistics overlay.


I love a shiny new tool. I only hope I can learn to use it as effectively as "Maria", she sounds like a very rational human. Me, not so much. I get a bit too "enthusiastic". ;)

Just open the box and see

I sure I speak for everyone

I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say at times we all get frustrated and perhaps lose our cool a little bit when we are arguing the cause of liberty. I myself got a little too aggressive this morning with a good friend of mine regarding women's rights vs. freedom to set wages. No one will ever be able to keep their cool in every situation, but it always wise to keep in mind a quiet, respectful and well thought out response will always win over heated rebuttals.

Thanks For Posting...

... awesome read.

We need to get an early start on 2016: Support Rand PAC 2016



Buy them

An all expenses paid weekend in either East St. Louis or Detroit if you can afford it.


OK here's what I'd LIKE to do

Listen very carefully not just to their arguments but their true FEELINGS with respectful and non hostile body language but slowy, very slowly go cross eyed and push a bit of spit out my mouth and then start very subtly nodding my head but faster and faster and then starting to make vocalizations like


and let my knees wobble to the floor and start convulsing and after a while stand up and say

"but I'm not sure I've addressed your point".

I would do so if I was truly as brave as I want to be.

Most of those who think so actually don't and most of those who think sew actually rip.

I have to disagree for

I have to disagree for practical purposes. Keep it simple. Guns are illegal in mexico and its one of the most dangerous places on earth. Guns are assigned to the Swiss and its one of the most peaceful places on earth. Explain that.

Thank you!

This is one of the most important posts I have ever read on DP!

This needs to be the number two goal of every libertarian (after educating oneself). Learn how to persuade. Don't pummel people with logic and statistics, because it does not work. Find common values and establish an emotional understanding.

"All our words are but crumbs that fall down from the feast of the mind." - Khalil Gibran
"The Perfect Man has no self; the Holy Man has no merit; the Sage has no fame." - Chuang Tzu

Effective communication is very powerful...

If everyone would read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (a small book that just costs a few bucks), we would all be better off.

People only resort to violence when communication fails or their power is threatened by the truth:

powerful and disengenuous

It's really easy to have a communication failure when your opponate is more concerned with controlling you than searving you, eh?

Great post

wonderful strategy that would work on a number of issues.

Looks like a key to me. THANK YOU!



Kathleen, Your Friend Gets a Big Christmas Hug From Me

Wonderful, cogent, rational and sensible thoughts. America needs more people like 'Maria' to come forward and address this important issue using common sense.

jrd3820's picture

They are not our enemy

I am glad you recognize that. I have been saying here for the past few days that talking about these issues in calm and rational statements is more helpful. I have noticed knee jerk reactions from both sides of the aisle on this argument, and it does not help. Informing and educating people is the answer.

the problem is the difference who do you trust

Anti gun folk generally trust the military and police having guns, but think the masses are too emotionally undisciplined...a fairly valid argument as the military and police regulate access and usage of guns rigorously.

In contrast, many pro gun folk don't trust the military and police (as stated on this site often)...thus the desire for assault guns...a valid argument considering the history of the military and police.


my experience is anti gun people are emotional with little or no ability to think critically or logically. Pro gun people tend to be more logical in their thinking while putting emotions on the back burner.

I read a comment the other day somewhere which stated all guns should be banned and only the police and military should have them. I of course pointed out that the opined solution was exactly what the second amendment was meant to protect us against. I then posed the question, "if all guns are banned, why would the police need them?"

I was hoping the poster would attempt an answer so I could point out the flaws of his emotional illogical mindset, but nothing yet.

I lean toward the progun folk, but i was just pointing out an

important difference.

Anti-gun folk are authority based (big government), thus trust the military and police.

Pro-gun folk want smaller government (generally don't trust government), thus don't trust government authorities...in fact, they want authority over their own lives.

The later group is much more self-actualized.

BTW: The intention of my posts is in response to the OP...how to discuss this issue with anti-gun people.

Specifically, point out how criminal, psychotic, dangerous, etc. the police, military, government, etc. actually are. Then add to that the other criminal organizations and kooks out there. And the need for assault weapons (group killers) becomes apparent.

Anti-gun folks

IMO, also want to be totally free from any responsibility to protect themselves. It's not their job, man, arm somebody else.