What to do when confronted by emotional anti-gun statements by the unenlightenedSubmitted by Kathleen Gee on Thu, 12/20/2012 - 11:12
A friend forwarded an email exchange between herself and another friend. My friend has a concealed carry permit because she lives alone in a pretty dicey part of town where there are frequent home invasions and the occasional gang murder.
My friend's friend (let's call her Anne) didn't know that my friend (let's call her Maria) has a gun or concealed carry permit. Anne forwarded Maria an email to sign a petition demanding that Obama get rid of the archaic 2nd amendment because normal citizens shouldn't have guns.
Maria responded in a very cool way that I think is worth sharing. (I personally might have flown off the handle.)
Instead of throwing a bunch of logic and reason and facts at Anne, Maria met her where she was, emotionally speaking, and built rapport with her.
Maria started by agreeing with Anne 100% by saying things like this:
I agree with you, what happened in CT was a horrible tragedy
I agree, I'm really upset and angry and depressed like you
I agree, we all must come together to make sure that never happens again
I agree, it's time to do something that will really work
I agree, we need to seriously examine what caused this tragedy to happen
Then Maria did a reframe...after Anne said that the solution was "gun control". Maria stayed in the emotional space where Anne was and said things like:
I'm afraid because crazy people are unpredictable and you never know what will set someone off
I'm really afraid that we've already experimented enough with things that don't work, like "gun control."
It scares me that all these mass killings keep happening in gun-free zones
I'm afraid that if we keep up this dangerous experiment with "gun free zones" that even more children will die unprotected
I'm afraid of what might happen to me if I can't defend myself in my home
I'm scared that it would only take a home invader 30 seconds to break into my bedroom but it will take the police 10 minutes to get here.
I'm afraid of being defenseless if a man kicks in my bedroom door
I'm afraid for those defenseless children.
Once Anne started thinking rationally instead of emotionally, Maria staring bringing in things like:
I had to pass a background check to get my license, and I had to get trained and tested
You know me, Anne, and you know I'm not a threat to any other law-abiding citizen
Everything that happened in CT was already illegal and didn't stop it from happening
We need to figure out what really works. We've tried gun free zones but they are a murder magnet.
Maria never, ever brought up statistics or the 2nd Amendment. She met Anne where she was, built common ground, reframed "gun free zones" into a "dangerous experiment" and "murder magnet" and agreed with Anne that "we need to find out what really works, now that we know "gun free zones" don't keep kids safe.
She did it all calmly and respectfully and in the end, Anne's response (after a few back and forth emails) was "you may be right."
Please, folks, I know we are all so passionate about this topic, but the unenlightened are not our enemies. The forces of evil are our enemies. The unenlightened are easy marks for the forces of evil, so we have to build rapport and make friends with them on a personal level, respectfully and kindly, as Dr. Paul has done for so many years. He's not a hateful name-caller, so I think he's the best possible example of how to deal with people on the other side, who are sincerely angry and upset and grasping an anything that seems like an answer.