28 votes

Swimming Pool Ban!

If you care for the children BAN SWIMMING POOLS! Someone has to do something about these swimming pools! 350 children under the age of 5 die every year in this country due to swimming pools! It's an epidemic that must be stopped! The government needs to put guards in the backyard of everyone who has a swimming pool at tax payer expense! And don't even try to blame the irresponsibility of the parent, or the actions of individuals because we all know it's the swimming pools that are to blame! There are too many swimming pools on the streets of America, threatening our children everyday! America is insane! There are swimming pools everywhere! And they're not even registered with the state! And can you believe people can get swimming pools without a background check? The swimming pools are permeating our culture and destroying children's and families' lives! The problem with swimming pools is so bad that kids are even finding them in their schools and public recreation facilities! It's easier for kids to get access to swimming pools than it is to get pot! We need a billion dollar federal commission to study swimming pools and genius politicians to find a law that will make sure no one will ever drown again! It's for the children! The proliferation of swimming pools in this country must stop! Now! Save us from the swimming pools Obama and Congress! Please! Think of the kids!(Don't worry about those brown ones in mud huts though, they don't have swimming pools.... you can still drone bomb the shit out of them, we don't mind.)

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I Like The Drunk Driving Analogy...

...except instead of saying "We don't ban cars, even though people drive drunk and cause harm" I say "We don't ban alcohol, even though people drive drunk and cause harm." Plus all the other harm from alcohol.

The problem is when people die in groups. If 100 people die in separate incidences of alcohol poisoning nothing would be done. But if 100 people died all together at the same time, well then the public might react.

"Bipartisan: both parties acting in concert to put both of their hands in your pocket."-Rothbard

If the Swimming Pools are on anti-depressants...

...we're all f***ed.

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience"—Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

lets Just ban swimming for

lets Just ban swimming for kids under 15.

"OH NO! He has a SON?" Neoconservatives and Liberals EVERYWHERE!

Rand Paul 2016

Having lived in Perth...

...I remember how 'free' it is down under... I feel ya brother...

as a side note, I really loved the anti-drunk driving campaign that was down there... "If you drink and drive, you're a bloody idiot."


The pool did it. How dare

The pool did it. How dare you blame a person...

Never be afraid to ask simple questions.

Meanwhile in Australia... random government pool inspections

I know you're joking but the state government in New South Wales, Australia has declared you must register your pool and declare that it is safe. Failure to register your pool within 12 months from when the law came in earlier this year will result in $2200 fine. It's pretty hard to hide that you have a pool since they can check on Google maps.

After you register your pool, the government can then come on to your land at any time and randomly inspect it to ensure that it's safe. If it fails an inspection, you can be fined $5000 and be prevented from renting or selling your property until it's deemed safe.

Pool Safety Requirements include:

* A resuscitation chart must be provided within the pool area
* Pool fencing must be a minimum height of 1.2 metres above ground level.
* Gaps under and within fence/gates must not be greater than 100mm
* There should be no obstructions around the pool fence which could be used as a foothold for a child to climb the pool fence
* Gates should never be left open or propped open
* Items that can be potentially climbable must be kept clear at least 900mm of fences and gates

My pool has been in place for years. The fence around it was built when the pool was installed and was around 1 inch shorter than the regulations. I had to replace it or risk being fined $5000.

The sad thing is the people have not resisted. They accept random government inspections if it's "for the good of the children".

great read!

I love the way you write this. A comedie. But tragic because true. The climax is the brown people in huts...drones are fine you know because they kill bad people so only the good ones are left. Or better the "suspected! insurgents" and all those close to them and all those coming to help afterwards when we do the "clean up bombing", ordered by the great commander Pres. Ohbanana.
But, yes we are such gentle, loving people we want to make sure no child is ever harmed....BULLSHIT! DISTRACTION FORM THE CRIMES!

Gerald Mangold


Looking forward to the National Pool Association reply.


and curling irons!


Love or fear? Choose again with every breath.


Don't give the Government any more ideas. We know they are watching this site. (when they are not looking at porn)


This is where I come when I'm not watching porn too! Although, I'm not getting paid with stolen money to do it...lol