1 vote

To Help You, Help Us

Alert.

Cautionary message.

This is only a stage-one danger threat assessment.

Resume standard awareness.

Maintain calm during chronosimulation transfer process. Hip hip hooray! It's almost Friday! And please remember to stay alert for follow-up instructions and immediate emergency notifications for your own safety. And for our childrens.

(Commercial-free rock and roll.)

Thank you for helping us help you.

Friend in country, every time you stand at attention to face our flag, you're not just standing up for the other 300 million people in our nation. My friend, they're standing up for you. 300 million citizens. Now that's 300 million strong.

300 million people who will stand up with you against the terrorists, and show them that we aren't afraid to stand up and face our flag, for 20, 30 minutes at a time, an hour, 2 hours? How much time is enough to give to our flag, your flag, to show the terrorists that we will never give up our freedom?

...

Standard weekend security protocols will be implemented at 8:30 p.m. Thursday, Central Standard Time. Phase 3 security curfew in effect. Random readiness rollcalls will apply to citizens with code blue clearance.

The Extreme Weather Forecast Lab is calling for weekend highs in the 70's nationwide, breezes from the north and a chance of light drizzle.

And don't forget to enter and win!

...

Alert.

Cautionary message.

This is only a stage-one danger threat assessment.

Resume standard awareness.

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Flashback 2012.

Seriously - flashback.

9-11 was a panda job.