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Why New Year's Resolutions Rarely Work

Here is the reason, on page 152 of this book, The Willpower Instinct. My wife got it for me for Christmas. When I read this, it made me laugh out loud, so I thought I would share it with you:

Vowing to change fills us with hope. We love to imagine how making the change will transform our lives, and we fantasize about the person we will become. Research shows that deciding to start a diet makes people feel stronger, and planning to exercise makes people feel taller. (Nobody said these fantasies were realistic.) People will treat us differently, we tell ourselves. Everything will be different. The bigger the goal, the bigger the burst of hope. And so when we decide to change, it's tempting to give ourselves some very large assignments. Why set a modest goal when setting a gigantic goal will make us feel even better? Why start small when you can dream big?

Unfortunately, the promise of change -- like the promise of reward and the promise of relief -- rarely delivers what we're expecting. Unrealistic optimism may make us feel good in the moment, but it sets us up to feel much worse later on. The decision to change is the ultimate in instant gratification -- you get all the good feelings before anything's been done. (That's the part that got me to laugh out loud.)

But the challenge of actually making a change can be a rude awakening, and the initial rewards are rarely as transformative as our most hopeful fantasies ("I lost five pounds and I still have a crappy job."). As we face our fist setbacks, the initial feel-good rush of deciding to change is replaced with disappointment and frustration. Failing to meet our expectations triggers the same old guilt, depression and self-doubt, and the emotional payoff of vowing to change is gone. At this point, most people will abandon their efforts altogether. It's only when we are feeling out of control and in need of another hit of hope that we'll vow to change -- and start the cycle all over. (That's where I nodded in newfound wisdom and understanding.)

ALL THAT BEING SAID, I'm happy to report that I haven't smoked a cigarette in over two years! I quit on 12/13/2010. There is a post about it on the DP here somewhere.

Whoever is making New Year Resolutions this year, I hope the above is of some use. I am one of those people. After quitting smoking, I gained a few pounds. (Ok, more than a few). I'm moving into middle age. Now is the time not only to take them off -- I've done that in the past -- but to keep them off.

If anyone here has a resolution, please post it in the comments below. This is a great book! If you're serious about making changes in your life, I highly recommend it, and I'll be sharing more observations and insights in the coming days & weeks.

Happy New Year everyone! May 2013 be your best year yet.


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In other words...People who

In other words...

People who make their resolutions based on an arbitrary, conventional date are prone to not following through with them. True resolutions would happen organically when the mind is ready to change.

Beside Tom Woods other have been outed.

Primal blueprint followers"
Austro-Cavemen Lew Rockwell, Tom Woods, Butler Shaffer, Walter Block, and Joe Salerno and Karen DeCostner

Grok On!

Free includes debt-free!

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I made a resolution years ago...

...and have kept it since then. It is a resolution that anyone can keep for a lifetime with no work, temptation or struggle! My resolution: Never make any resolutions on New Years'. This is perfect! ;-)

my New Year's resolution is

to fail at my New Year's resolution!

"All our words are but crumbs that fall down from the feast of the mind." - Khalil Gibran
"The Perfect Man has no self; the Holy Man has no merit; the Sage has no fame." - Chuang Tzu

We are defined by our habits

We are defined by our habits- If you smoke every day, but don't smoke for one day, you are still a smoker. The idea of real change is to make this resolution a part of your every day life.

I suppose this also applies to congressmen. If you vote for tyranny consistently, but vote for liberty once, you are still a tyrant.

The founders would be ashamed at us for what we are putting up with.

If I din't think I were perfect I wouldn't be who I am.

Resolved: I am going to buy the vets Mighty 90 to discover if cigarette smoking is a nutrient deficiency disease. I know that eating can be.

Resovled: To quit smoking. Tobacco Smoke does contain minerals and high levels of formaldehyde. I'll end up pickled in Dr Frankensteens Lab next to Abby Normal.

I have been using a water pipe with tobacco for these last two years. I only have bought a couple of packs of cigarettes in two years or bummed them when traveling or visiting. But they are just too much. I can't imagine even smoking it close to the filter.

Quitters face three major issues.
Nicotine forms complexes with copper and zinc that are anti-microbial.

Nicotine is broken down by the liver into vitamin B3 and B6. Quiting cold turkey creates a deficiency.

Tobacco smoke has laxative effects. Instead Magnesium Citrate liquid, dose as needed. When I quit, people feel the need to tell me I am full if s it. They were technically correct.

Good luck with finding a new blueprint for eating. I did, instead of quitting. Well enough excuses.

Tom Woods on losing weight.

Take the Apple. Grok On!

Happy New Year Michael!

Free includes debt-free!

I lost 30 pounds this year

Michael, there are many paths to weight loss. Experiment until you find what works for you.

If I had to recommend just two sources, I'd say to look at and Tim Ferriss's book The Four Hour Body. He has a diet that's easy to stick to because he allows a "binge" day once per week. is also very good as several people have mentioned.

I'm 52 years old and went from 225 pounds to 195 pounds. I do a high intensity, 30 minute lifting workout once every five days and walk twice per week for about 30 minutes.

Tim Maitski
Atlanta real estate agent
Atlanta real estate website

Michael Nystrom's picture

Good job

I like that Tim Ferris book. And Mark Sisson, too. I think that's his name. Lots of good resources out there. Thanks.

I agree everyone needs to find the system that works for them. I notice I feel a lot better - not as lethargic, tired or bloated - without the wheat.

Are you at your target weight now? Best of luck keeping it off. That has been my problem in the past.

I decided back in March 2012

I decided back in March 2012 that besides giving up smoking I would try to lose weight too.

Quite a task as I was 245 pounds but it didn't show too much as I'm pretty tall. Anyway, I heard someone on the radio talking about the Harcombe Diet and decided to try it. Kind of mentioned it in a post on the Daily Paul.

Anyway I lost around 50 pounds in all and have hit my target weight, even though after an injury I couldn't exercise as much (maybe 2 to 3 times a week now)
It was simple really, I just cut out the sugar during the week and cut out sugary soda drinks, drinking mainly water and black coffee occasionally instead. I do have treats at the weekend and haven't cut down on the fat that much, just the sugar.

More details on her website. Seems to have worked for me and I've never tried diets before.

because if it were important enough for you to change or want to

change you wouldn't wait until year end to do it

Satisfaction is a reward for

Satisfaction is a reward for having achieved your aim. Passion is energy towards an aim, the result of motivation. Satisfaction dissipates passion. A positive only if you have achieved your aim.

Goals are ideas for aims. An aim is your current definite major purpose. It must be current/now. You can only have one major aim, and any other aim must be on the direct path towards that aim.

Changing you aim will stall your motor, end your passion, and require a new process of motivating passion towards.

Achieving you aim in reality.

Most people view their real self as an idea in their mind. Sometimes this is expressed in reality, sometimes it isn't. These people can "care" for another without providing care, or be a "motivated" individual without currently being motivated toward an aim. Their words describe only the idea they have of themselves, not reality. The chemical reward system in their brain is partially conditioned to this, and they feel satisfaction at this. They feel self esteem when they set a high goal, satisfying themselves. This is success to their limbic system. Part of their brain celebrates, part wishes the goals could have been achieved in reality. But the person is satisfied, and without passion they do nothing.

Successful people have a mental picture of their ideal self, a blueprint, and strive the make that reality, judging themselves for the purpose of decision making, self esteem, etc as the action they take in reality. They only allow their brain to release satisfying chemicals when they reach their aim in reality. This creates a scenario in which the only way to feel self esteem is to achieve the aim.

A person who sets an aim and commits fully to it, must have faith in themselves to achieve it. If they do not have faith, they will not fully commit.

Most people who set large goals have minds with chemical reward systems not based in reality. This is the first flaw. Secondly, if they are based in reality, they might not have the faith to commit their entire being to its achievement. They don't move properly, and eventually they change their aim. And then there are those who build our world.

Change My Sleep Patterns!

This has been a tough one for me. I have largely quit caffeine (which contributes to delayed sleep phase disorder) in the last year or so. It's been an up and down battle, mainly because it's not that I can't have ANY caffeine, just not constantly. But I've gotten that resolved so now I'm moving on to sleep patterns.

Being that I work online and from home, my typical sleep patterns were rather ridiculous. Staying up till 3 to 5 AM!, and sleeping till noon or 2 PM. The thing is, it works for me. I feel great when I sleep from those times. I'm fresh, I can think and function and since I work from home, there's often little reason to change it.

But the last few months, especially with the daylight change, the darkness setting so quickly after I wake-up has really been making me feel the pressure to change my sleep patterns. Anyone who's tried this knows it's not easy. In fact, if you've never done it before it can seem impossible.

But this month I've already moved my hours back to going to bed now at 1-2 AM and sleeping till 10 AM. I am doing it, and sleeping well through the night now. But I still don't feel very good when I wake up. My body is still wanting to sleep later. I need to push this back further.. Maybe 7AM wake-up consistently?

This is just one step in some changes I wanna make. But I want to focus on this first one before I even tackle the others. The end goal is that my current sleep patterns make it difficult if I want to find a real job to combine with my self-employed stuff. My longer term goal is to wake up at 7AM and start jogging every morning. Maybe someday I change my name to nolongerfatlibertarian?

Michael Nystrom's picture

Agree with Paul below

I've always been a late sleeper. On summer vacation during college, my sleep schedule would get completely turned upside down, too, to the point that I was working all night and going to sleep when the birds started chirping. There is something about that period of time that makes me very productive. I have fond memories of those days.

Hey, if you're single, you might try poly-phasic sleep. I had heard about it before, but read more about it in Tim Ferriss's Four Hour Body. Basically, you sleep for 20 minutes, every 4 hours, around the clock. Sounds weird, but apparently it works.

According to Tim, Matt Mullenweg, the lead programmer for Wordpress, slept that way for a year while he was developing WP. He said it was the most productive year of his life. Then he said he got a girlfriend and had to get on a regular schedule. Some info online here.

Anyway, something to consider. Let me know if you try it. But yes, I know how hard it is to get back on a regular schedule. Its like having a bad case of jetlag.

Good luck. Keep us posted.

Michael, what time were you born?

I've heard that the closer you were born to 4 AM, the more likely you are to be a morning person, and the closer you were born to 4 PM, the more likely you are to be a night person. I've been asking people this question for years, and it seems to be about 90% accurate.

"All our words are but crumbs that fall down from the feast of the mind." - Khalil Gibran
"The Perfect Man has no self; the Holy Man has no merit; the Sage has no fame." - Chuang Tzu

Sounds like a Resolution to punish!!! 7AM???

My grandpa framed 100 acres in St Clair Count MI. I knew him from 1954 until 1971. He never rose before noon, probably did not want to miss saying hi! to the sun. Someone has to watch the goods while the early-birds take their nightly naps.

Maybe it's not the sleep cycles. Mineral craving take many forms. Smoking, eating (of course), general anxiety, depression. If you get 2 liters of colloidal plant mineral, you may make expensive pee for a while but you can rest assured that you have solved any mineral deficiency. for now.

The vet made up some human pellets that are fit for humans. Do his Mighty 90 for two months. Everything essential to make all those minerals work.

Have you ever had the feeling your missing something while satisfying an addiction. The vet says we need 90 things to maximize our genetic potential.

If I make expensive urine it's a lot cheaper and safer than free government health care.

University of Michigan gave me a Chemical engineering degree, that was so long ago. I've begun looking into it but there is good, repeatable evidence that if a mineral is deficient then the body will have disease. There are 60 minerals that have undergone this rigorous science.

After a TIA (induce by a FDA approved OTC, I discovered just last year that my graying hair, the aortic swelling and varicose veins were a sign of a copper deficiency. My hair is darkening and my varicose veins are smooth. Copper and Vitamin C (scurvy) are needed to make the bodies elastic material.

Who knows how long these problems lurked. Smoker's bodies dump copper into the bloodstream. That is why our hair grays and skin wrinkles and jowly happens. Smoking apparently solves the copper deficiency for the moment by raising blood copper levels so copper more easily eliminated through sweat or urine.

Process Engineers look at inputs and outputs. Mineral sufficiency is not a given. What is given is perspiration and elimination.

I like my 60 minerals colloidal. The baked green mussels, seaweed salad and slabs of Himachi at sushi zen is my favorite way to satisfy my incessant mineral needs.

Now I know why. The genius of Japanese Cuisine to include the 3 Essential Fats, 12 Amino Acids, 16 vitamins with ground roots and pickled ginger into an edible setting that is simple and elegant. I always leave smiling and laughing, I notice it in others, a smiling contentment as we leave.

I can't plan to have sashimi every week again soon. But I can take the pellets and drinks the vet sells. Cheaper than the Sushi bar, far less satisfying. The alternative is to run out, get sick and die.

I predict The New Year will be easier by buy Wallach's pellets and let the sleep issues solve themselves. Geez, 7AM is my favorite REM time.

Peace and Happy new year!

Free includes debt-free!

We have so much work to do

• achieve total wellness
• achieve total consciousness
• spread love / quell fear
• end the politics of division
• defeat the two-party monopoly
• defeat electronic voting machines
• ignore corporate liar media
• defeat the New World Order
• defeat MonSatan, GoogleTube, Facespy, Microsloth
• End the FED
• restore the Republic
• arrest NWO banksters
• arrest chemtrailers
• re-investigate 911, 7/7, 3/11, OKC, Waco, Dresden, Sand Creek
• avenge JFK
• launch the Liberty (non) party

... and get more nookie :)

{ music : AWB "Work To Do" }

Michael Nystrom's picture

Whoa! That is a big list

One thing at a time, though. I realize I have to make my health a priority this year. I've been healthy my entire life, and it is a blessing. It is the ultimate form of wealth. And I don't want to blow it. Especially the with the "healthcare" system we have in this country, the positively best form of insurance in preventative maintenance!

I think if enough people can achieve the first three on your list, the rest will fall like dominoes. But the only place I can start is with myself, so that is where I will begin. And the nookie ;)

I highly recommend the movie

I highly recommend the movie Forks Over Knives if you're looking to make your health a priority.

I quit sometime in January

I quit sometime in January two years ago out of the blue. If a person doesn't honestly want to do something for their self, it won't get done. This is why people whose family hounds them to quit smoking, or doing any other substance, relapse. I liked smoking, and the reason I stopped is because I didn't like it anymore. I had no excuses as to why I smoked. I liked it. That was an actual reason. It was a snap decision to quit.

People need to do away with this "I am powerless to [fill in a substance here]..." talk that cults like AA and NA tell people. They don't need God to keep them away from an inanimate object. We are given free will, and to think that we are powerless to something like a drug, that's just self-defeating.

Please come join my forum if you're not a trendy and agree with my points of view.

SteveMT's picture

Oh, the applications of those paragraphs.

Although "The Willpower Instinct" was published in 2012, politicians have known about this book's teachings and grim results for a long time. The politicians and propagandists know that the bigger the lies about hope and change, the more the People will believe in them. Ergo, our present dilemma in this country. Lots of hope, big hopes in fact. However, no tangible change worth anything worthy of a celebration. The masters of deception prey upon these inner hopes and dreams that People have set for themselves. Very few actually attain these high expectations, and the success rate with actual political change is even lower than that; unfortunately, real change only seems to come about by revolution. Having said that, I have set big goals for this coming year. Ha!

Peace in 2013.

Michael Nystrom's picture

Excellent point Steve


Obama's election in 2008 was a cathartic moment for the country. GWB was gone. And then ... business as usual.

Real change comes by revolution, but it also comes by incrementalism... Look at how the country has changed over 240 years since our revolution. It has come about through incrementalism.

As for my big change - losing weight, first comes the revolution: Changing what is allowable to eat. Step to is the incrementalism. I'm not going to lose 25 lbs overnight!

Best of luck with your big goals Steve, and happy new year.

SteveMT's picture

1-2 #s/month is the big goal.

I've been trying to lose 20#s forever. It may be impossible, but go by realistic goals in fitness, not the scale. Muscle is denser than fat, so it weighs more. As our bodies get in better condition, they use calories more efficiently, like a car after a tune-up gets 5 miles more per gallon of gas. Go by how far, how long, how high, and how fast you do things by keeping a log of your work-outs and by keeping a dietary log as well. Garbage in = garbage out.

Take vitamins and supplements. Here's what I take and do. A multi-vit, turmeric, glucosamine, fish oil, alfalfa, separate extra vits: C, D, and E, 81 mg aspirin, and coconut oil. Our bodies are craving vitamins; our GMO food has been depleted of nutrition. Go organic as much as possible: milk, bread, veggies, fruit, eggs, yogurt, and primary food. Go organic with all of this. Fat is o.k., protein is great. Drinking water is your mainstay. Do not deny yourself carbs while you are working out. You may or may not lose weight in the process, but you will feel a lot better. Be consistent with your workouts. That is the hardest part, consistency. Rest well. Sleep becomes very important when you start physically challenging yourself. We are our own worst critics. Linking the body with the mind is the goal.

Michael Nystrom's picture

A book to check out

In addition to the one above:

1) Wheat Belly: Lose the wheat, lose the fat, find your way back to health. His premise: Not only were we not meant to eat grains, but wheat has evolved over the last 50 years to be more sticky. This is bad for our health overall, in so many ways, including making us fat.

He suggests that the reason no carb diets work is for a simple reason: They eliminate the wheat.

Part of my eating goal is to eliminate the wheat (but not all carbs). Man it is hard! More addictive than smoking, in my opinion.

Linking the mind to the body is indeed the key. Good luck friend.

So true...

Thank you for posting this Michael.

"The decision to change is the ultimate in instant gratification -- you get all the good feelings before anything's been done."

So true...

This day I make no resolutions.
Hmm maybe just one -- to visit Cuba.

Happy New Year to you & your wife!

LL on Twitter:
sometimes LL can suck & sometimes LL rocks!
Love won! Deliverance from Tyranny is on the way! Col. 2:13-15

Michael Nystrom's picture

One day I'd love to visit Cuba as well

I hear it is a beautiful place.

Thank you Tom. Best of luck and happy new year.

Years ago I made the only

New Year's resolution I've ever been able to keep.... I resolved to NEVER MAKE ANOTHER RESOLUTION AGAIN!
It's been over 30 years now and I've never failed to keep it!
Happy New Year, y'all!

If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
James Madison

three things ........

First, to spend more time with my kids (most important), lose weight (in the same boat with you Micheal!!!), and finally to exercise my rights and begin carrying concealed--I haven't actually done it since I got certified and got my CCW "permit" from Big Brother.

I read the title of the post

I read the title of the post and thought of this:

Then I read the actual post, and it still made me think of my linked article. The lessons are much the same and equally applicable.

And no, I don't get paid for the link; but yes, I do LeanGains. And yes I can vouch for the fact that it works, freaking fantastically. :-)

Cheers to all, and happy new year.

Michael Nystrom's picture

Jay that is a good article

The key points I got are: Motivation and Perspective. People fantasize about losing weight, or other changes, but stuff like that is hard. Motivation is gone, and perspective tends to shrink into the immediate moment when all you want is a freaking cigarette or that chocolate chip cookie.

So there has to be some kind of larger perspective as to why one wants to change, and that larger perspective feeds a longer term motivation. My decision to quit smoking came from what seemed like a near death experience. It wasn't too serious - maybe I'll share it later - but in the moment, I realized pretty clearly that smoking was going to kill me. If not then, then in the long run, somehow. That perspective helped with my long term motivation.

My current 'near death experience' is this: I measured my waist the other day, and it came in at 40". OMG! Other people have 40" waists, not me. Fat people have 40" waists. This is also the heaviest I've ever been. But it is the belly, which I know is the biggest predictor of diabetes down the line. I really don't want diabetes. It would be a royal pain in the you-know-what.

Thank you and happy new year!

May I offer a differing

May I offer a differing perspective on your near-death experience, by changing one word: It was a near-life experience! (yes I'm borrowing that from Fight Club :-)

But truly, nothing makes us understand and appreciate life quite like an experience that brings us face to face with death, as you can surely attest. If you do care to share the experience some day, I'm sure you know well that you'll find nothing but support on this site.

In any case, glad you've found the longer term motivation! Stay with it, steady eddie style, and lean on others who are similarly seeking fitness changes -- or who have already had success -- for the positive vibes to stay with it. Just like we do with the liberty movement.

And seriously, if you're looking for a way to drop that 40" number effectively, have a look around that LeanGains site (start with the LeanGains guide), and of course don't take his word for it. Google for more info, successes, failures etc. It's not a diet fad, it's a complete lifestyle change -- by simplification (intermittent fasting). It has simplified everything for me, from eating to exercising, and over a month in I've had considerable results that I haven't achieved by other methods before.

Sorry if that sounds like an infomercial; it's something I'm enthusiastic about because of how well it's gone for me, and really how relatively easy it will be for me to do it forever. I'd feel like I'd be guilty of neglect if I didn't mention it when the subject comes up.

In any case, however you decide to go about it, may the wind be always at your back! Best of luck and happy new year!

Michael Nystrom's picture

'Near life experience'

I forgot about. Thanks for the reminder.

I'll check out the LeanGains site. Don't worry, you don't sound like an infomercial. I know how it is to want to spontaneously share information! And I'm always open to new information.

Thank you again for the positivity and the words of encouragement.

Might I add my two cents?

Okay, I had an excuse to gain *some* weight, but not as much as I did (+43 when I stopped weighing myself). So, after that son was born - not that you could really tell by looking at me!, I went on the Fit For Life diet - a food-combining diet. (I think it's only not for diabetics because of the fruit intake.) Briefly, as I remember it, categorizing foods as fruits, vegetables, starches, or proteins, you have fruit only until noon (lots); then only meals of vegetables + starches OR vegetables + proteins, i.e., no mixing starches & protein (no roast beef sandwiches, no potatoes or rice with meat dishes...). What's great is that you can EAT AS MUCH AS YOU WANT so long as you keep to the rule. Eating MORE than I had, especially fruits & berries, the weight came off. (They say if you're underweight, you'll gain weight. It normalizes your weight.)
Well, happy new year, Michael, and good luck!

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.
~ John Muir

That's great insight

My new year’s resolution:

I will decide to change every day, and get a hit of instant gratification.

Since it's the follow-through that is the real let down,

I resolve NOT to follow-through with any decision to change. ;)

Just open the box and see

No.7's picture

New Years Resolution

My New Year's Resolution is to get off the couch and get involved.
I joined my county GOP this week and I plan to do what I can to promote the cause of liberty here where it counts.

I've done well educating friends(not quite as well with the family) about sound money, free market economics, and Ron Paul but I've also spent too much time on the couch. Hopefully I don't end up fitting the description in your reference lol.

The individual who refuses to defend his rights when called by his Government, deserves to be a slave, and must be punished as an enemy of his country and friend to her foe. - Andrew Jackson

If a new years resolution were

to be declared by me it would be to quit smoking, however it is very difficult as I have discovered the last 20 or so times I tried to quit. How did you do it Michael? Patch, gum, or cold turkey, and once you quit the habit, how did you keep it behind you?

“When a well-packaged web of lies has been sold gradually to the masses over generations, the truth will seem utterly preposterous and its speaker a raving lunatic.” – Dresden James

Michael Nystrom's picture

I used the patch for a little while

I was involved in a free study that Harvard was doing on people who wanted to quit smoking. The big schools around here are always recruiting volunteers for their studies. I was already very motivated, and I had quit successfully once before for five years, so I knew what I was up against. The study was annoying, and I ended up quitting after a few weeks. They wanted me to come in each week and talk about my "feelings." They also kept me on a patch dose that was too high because "they were the experts." I ended up cutting the patches in half, then 1/3, then 1/4.

The patch and the gum are good crutches to help you get over the most intense urges, but they are just crutches. I think the most important thing is to have a real sense of purpose - why you want to quit. I built a whole case up in my mind about how bad they were - not only for my health, but they're expensive, they stink, there's the whole addiction thing, which meant I was not free. At one hypnosis session, the hypnotist had us imagine us standing next to an open grave, with a big cigarette (who smokers think of as their friends) nudging us into the grave! Then getting violent and pushing us in!

The most important thing is to have that long term perspective that you can go back to, because in the moment, you really want to smoke!

The book is excellent because it gives perspective on what you face and why you face it. She also gives a good exercise called "surfing the urge." Most people, when they get the urge when trying to quit, try to deny the urge. That doesn't work.

Instead, she says give yourself permission to experience it. Feel it. But instead of giving into it, examine it. Watch it. Observe the urge. Eventually it subsides on its own. Ultimately, it is using a form of mindfulness and a practice of awareness to combat addictive behavior. So much of addictive behavior is mindless... We eat a whole bag of chips without even knowing where it went, or automatically reach for a cigarette without even being aware of it...

In the end, the only thing you really need is that mindful awareness.

That "keep it behind you" is never done this side of the grave

My husband and I had quit for over 10 years (cold turkey.) Then we lost our daughter and grandsons (not dead, just lost to us) and we started again. I really don't even regret it, what happened to us should not happen, it just should not, and we used a crutch to survive and if the crutch kills us later, at least we survived for now.
We are about ready to try to put them down again, but if we "fail" we are not going to beat ourselves up about it.

Love or fear? Choose again with every breath.

Michael Nystrom's picture

What an interesting response, coming from a hypnotist

Hi fishy,

I think you know better than this. It sounds to me like you're making excuses. Of course I'm terribly sorry for the loss of your family, but holding onto that pain doesn't help.

"Whatever happened to us should not happen -" ?

In who's book?

Whatever happens happens. Lots of things happen. If it happened, apparently that means that it should have happened.

We have no control over what happens. We have no control over other people. We only have control over ourselves and how we respond.

Come on fishy, you're the hypnotist - you know all of this already. I'm just reminding you. In the end, the only thing you really need is mindful awareness of what you're doing and why.

You did it before, you can do it again. I quit for 5 years then started again at the 2008 RNC. What a dumb thing to start smoking again over!


You got me. It happened, it was devastating and an innocent child is the victim in the end - that is what made me say "It should not happen." But there is no re-writing the past.... so I guess it "should" have happened.
Thanks, Nystrom. A timely reminder.
Happy New Year to you!

Love or fear? Choose again with every breath.

Michael Nystrom's picture

Happy New Year Fishy

May 2013 be your best year ever!

All we have is now. All we've ever had, is now.

MericanDad's picture

My wife used the patch

She's been smoke-free since September. It's not easy, and some might argue it's easier to go cold turkey, because the patch keeps nicotine in your system so the cravings may not disappear until you're done with them. It does help to break the behavioral habit of lighting up and helps condition you not to smoke because you are medicated with nicotine already. But my wife abandoned the step 3 because it was just teasing her and keeping the nicotine in her system was driving her crazy. After about 4 weeks of step 2, she went cold turkey and was able to grin and bear a few days of grumpy before she came back into balance.

One thing you can do is set aside the money you would've spent and use it to buy something tangible that will remind you how much you're saving (silver!).

And don't forget that your sense of smell may come back stronger than when you were smoking. Also, Costco sells patches for less than most other places (and in 3 week packs instead of 2). You might also consider avoiding the no-name drugstore brands; she found they don't stick as well, so they tend to fall off really easy. Good luck, it's not easy, but it's worth it!

Last tip, use a spatula to smack your patch if it itches too much.

By claiming there is no conspiracy, you prove to those who believe in the conspiracy that you are part of the conspiracy.

Michael Nystrom's picture

This is great motivation!

One thing you can do is set aside the money you would've spent and use it to buy something tangible that will remind you how much you're saving (silver!).

Silver is what - about $30 per oz now? When I started smoking again in 2008, I was shocked to discover that smokes were $8 per pack! The first time I quit, part of the reason was because they just crossed $5 per pack, and I thought that was too much.

But depending on how much one is smoking those silver rounds can add up quick! At current prices, that is almost 2 per week. If it is one pack a day, $8 x 365 = almost $3,000, which is about 100 oz of silver.

Wow. I should start doing that.

- - - - - -

Anyway, remind your wife not to stay on the patch too long. Even the course they recommend is too long, imho (they want to sell patches, right?). Really all you need is 3 weeks. And you can start tapering them down - they say not to cut them (they want you to buy the lower dose), but I always did, and it was fine.

Good luck!

No.7's picture


I know several people who have quit using the E cigarettes. I know they still have nicotine but it's got to be better for your health. Good luck and well wishes!

The individual who refuses to defend his rights when called by his Government, deserves to be a slave, and must be punished as an enemy of his country and friend to her foe. - Andrew Jackson

What are the odds

What are the odds of quitting with that?

I keep considering it, but I get distracted and never follow through on researching cost, side effects, success rates.

"What if the American people learn the truth" - Ron Paul

I used an e-cig

It was amazing, I had no withdrawal symptoms, and even lost weight while quitting. If you have any specific questions I'd be happy to help:)

The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.
-Thomas Paine

Quitting smoking!

I have one: Is it available over the counter?

"What if the American people learn the truth" - Ron Paul


I went to a store that was privately owned, but there is a popular chain called Smart Smoke, usually in the malls you can go to. It's really easy to taper off the dose of nicotine in the drops.

The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion.
-Thomas Paine

No.7's picture

I honestly don't know much

about them. I have seen three friends quit smoking using them though. My Aunt is the only person I know to have relapsed from them. From my small sample it's 75% :)

The individual who refuses to defend his rights when called by his Government, deserves to be a slave, and must be punished as an enemy of his country and friend to her foe. - Andrew Jackson

I used the patch...

And kept everything else the same. I didn't avoid other smokers or quit drinking. Once I quit, the thought of having to quit again has always kept me from starting back. I smoked for 17 years (age 12-29).