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Emergency Dairy Bill Blocks Farmers From Milking Their Customers

Concluding a real-life last minute cliffhanger worthy of a Hollywood production, lawmakers succeeded in preventing their arch-nemesis, the free market, from a devastating victory that would have shattered the nation's collective consciousness while taking food from its very tables.

Still 'Got Milk?'

We're talking about milk, of course, and the potential and predictable spike in prices that would arise if the Agricultural Subsidy Bill of 2008 wasn't extended. Some say prices could more than triple from around $2.75 per gallon to $8-9 or more. The argument is that the average person could not or would not 'pay' $8 per gallon so it is a good idea for the 'government of the people' to pay the dairy farmer the $5 per gallon difference ahead of time, so the consumer can enjoy the illusion that they are only 'paying' $2.75-$3 per gallon.

The Barn Door's Open. Your Chaos Got Out.

Besides the inevitable 'catastrophe' of people not buying milk and drinking something better for them like water, or nothing at all, let us not forget those who would have been hardest hit - the dairy cows themselves. With the sudden drop in demand there would be a natural decrease in production. This would prevent the price from declining naturally while putting thousands of cows out of work, eventually forcing many farmers to open the gates and let their stock wander off to seek employment elsewhere.

Breaking Milk

Without the wise intervention of government and its magical pen of power, what started out as a fiscal cliff would have snowballed into an avalanche of price spikes across the board to the two chickens in every pot. Poultry and egg prices were predicted also to treble in price, as the chickens witness the cows marching off to freedom and so inspired, begin smashing their eggs and ultimately using them as projectile weapons against their keepers.

What now, brown cow?

Time, much like a cow's udder, never stops flowing. It can only be delayed by mankind with its technological ingenuity and a generous subsidy. And that can only be obtained from those most wise and benevolent members of our society whom we exalt, our elected representatives. For this I propose a toast:

Despite their heavy handidness
and hefty impositions,
This is no roast, this is a boast!
I toast my politicians!

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Evil, and we are paying for it.

This is important.
First of all, dairy subsidies cause(d) many/most small dairy farmers to go out of business, giving huge tax breaks and payments to the big guys (my husband's small dairy farm in Holland being one of them.)

Second, by the big getting bigger, the quality of life for the consumers, animals, land, employees... has grown into a devilish monster, with commercially produced milk virtually poisoning the consumer: A/1 A/1 milk, antibiotics, hormones, pasteurization, homogenization, meat from spent dairy cattle... poisoning the animals in CAFO's with antibiotics, unnatural food, dirty conditions, GMO feed, untold suffering...

If Congress decides to end this subsidy practice (using our tax dollars to fund this evil) and prices do rise, hopefully more people would stop drinking this poisoned milk altogether and health across the globe would dramatically improve. More cattle would be spared from having to live this life of hell, and more land would be spared the ravages of GMO crops and poisons.

This would hopefully make way for people to research why this type of milk is so dangerous, and why raw, purely grass-fed milk (even better if it is A/2 A/2) is so life giving and more people would get their own cows and support those who are willing to start up raw, clean dairies. The price of Real Milk is definitely worth it, and think how much suffering we could end?

Canadian homo milk - how can they


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Make no mistake this is about

Make no mistake this is about control nothing more. Farmers do not get parity in government subsidy for true cost of production. Price controls benefit Dean Food Inc. The monopoly controlling dairy. Farmers especially small family ones, the best most diverse ones, are held prisoner to price controls that do not reward them for their work and a government banking system that keeps them in debt and on the edge of being in the street every month. These are unique people that are getting the shaft with the rest of us and have little voice or direct lobby any longer. Dean Foods and unreported monopolies throughout nearly all our industry is destroying America hand in hand with the banking cartel and their hired politicians.

For those interested in this subject an excellent book was published in august. Milk Money - Cash Cows and The Death of the American Dairy Farm by; Kirk Kardashian. Worth the read...
***Note; Take the forward by Bernie Sanders the Socialist Senator from Vermont with a grain of salt.

“Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian.” ― Henry Ford.

Your writing style is very entertaining Chris.


Patriot Cell #345,168
I don't respond to emails or pm's.
Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution, inevitable.

Please don't give me the credit

I was just trying to write a straight story about a bunch of clowns in a circus so of course it seems that way.

Or perhaps I need to laugh about these things to stop myself from crying i don't know...


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Well Done



...but I forgot the part about what the pigs might eventually do when they see the farm...

Defeat the panda-industrial complex

I am dusk icon. anagram me.