2 votes

My recent experiences with TSA

I flew on airplanes because my family duty outweighed my duty as an activist so here is an alternative approach:

I was the first to make eye contact and sing out a merry HELLO HOW ARE YOU TODAY MY FINE PEOPLE?

I got big smiles.

them: SIR PLEASE SHOVE YOUR TRAY INTO THE MACHINE.

me: Hey you got it, sorry to hold things up, I'm not used to this. Ok into the machine? (I use my hands to stretch my mouth and make a big clown stick-your tongue out....)

them: SIR?

me: Yeah I know, sorry just joking, hey you guys are doing a great job!

them: SIR WE'RE JUST GONNA DO A PAT DOWN ON YOU.

(DUN DUN DUN DUN, THE MOMENT)

me: Sure bro, totally.

(the guy does this thing, I don't think his hands touched me and certainly not my privates otherwise that sunny disposition would have got DIFFERENT MIGHTY FAST)

them: SIR YOU ARE ALL SET.

me: Oh hey thanks man, can you tell me what gate to go to? I'm new at this.

them: Why sure, your ticket says gate 32 and you want to go all the way to the left, the line is shorter.

me: Can you just show me?

them: SURE RIGHT OVER THERE SIR.

me: THANKS, YOU PEOPLE HAVE A GREAT DAY!

(see no matter where we go and no matter what we do, there is always, ALWAYS a way to make a statement. And there's a time to put of a fuss and a time to just kinda make them smile. And their smile means I won. See it's not always about making the opposition feel like crap, sometimes it's about TRICKING THEM INTO ACTING LIKE HUMAN BEINGS AND NOT DEHUMANISING MACHINES.)

See that? Make any sense? Here's the thing: I VOLUNTARILY SUBJECTED MYSELF TO THEIR SYSTEM BECAUSE FRANKLY I NEEDED THEIR AIRPLANES TO GET ME THERE I WAS GOING AND ACCOMPLISH THE MISSION. On another day, somebody get me a ticket for a ride I don't care about and have no reason to go on and then I'll give them the full hassle. AS IT IS, THIS MISSION REQUIRED I GET THROUGH SO I USED THEM for just what they are: rented ponies. Actually I did better, I approached the nearest TSA and said "I'm sorry, I'm in a hurry to catch my plane and can you help me get through this faster?"

Do this with a nice smile and they put you at the head of the line and they actually helped me get to my plane.

Am I making sense? IT'S ALL WAR BUT WE CAN DICTATE THE TERMS OF THE PLAYING FIELD. Just remember we are never out of control. Self-control is how we dictate the terms. Everybody can tell you to only pick fights you can win.

Some fights we win by not fighting.

Time and a place for everything.

And making a TSA smile makes them less likely to hassle the next guy.

In fact, they aren't TSA, they are just underpaid, undertrained and under supported INDIVIDUALS TRYING TO DO WHAT THEY SEE AS THE RIGHT THING.

A word to the wise should be sufficient. Well I just gave you about 120 of them.