Millions of New Mexicans Living Openly Inside the United StatesSubmitted by Chris Simoleonski on Sat, 01/12/2013 - 06:04
Southwest's 'Land of Enchantment' May Be Home To Over 2 Million
Fresh on the tail of recent national news developments, Department of the Interior sources have confirmed previously unknown yet undeniably shocking statistics regarding the number of New Mexicans now inhabiting the United States, estimated at over 2 million, 85 thousand, 62.
Citizens are strongly cautioned against extreme panic at this juncture. Authorities maintain extreme maximum threat level in all yellow zones. Thank you for being calm for America.
If you suspect someone may be New Mexican, or you are in New Mexico, the Department of Interior Calm advises the following:
-Anyone visiting New Mexico is advised to smile and nod appropriately.
-Strut in a swaggering fashion.
-Purchase a dream catcher from the last chance gas station to hang from the mirror of your rental car.
-Try to keep a straight face.
Frequent alerts will be issued without warning as threat levels are assessed. Your neighbors thank you for your calm.
Thank you for your calm allegiance. Resume normal programming.