4 votes

Gorilla Sales Skyrocket After Latest Gorilla Attack

Comparing gorilla's to Guns is like...Well,
comparing gorilla's to guns.

What do you think?
Is this Crazy or what?

In my opinion this is a subtle brainwashing technique.


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Drinking, smoking Gorilla

Well, guess the government wouldn't try to take a gorilla even if loaded. A couple in Ohio rescued one. Owned by a defunct circus and to be put down, zoo didn't want it. He [the gorilla] was an alcoholic and a chain smoker when they got him. [told by couple] They had him off beer completely after 3 years but he still got 2 cigarettes a day. Don't think anyone in their right mind would have messed with the owners. No doubt, he would have gone APE... Fun seeing him when going there in the spring to rent a canoe to shoot the rapids on the Little Miami River.. He acted like a 'person". Cleaned his own room [30'x40] with an additional sleeping alcove. He communicated his wants or needs with sign language. He was very friendly and well behaved. Really cool.



...I'm worried about an impending assault gorilla ban, so I got me one last week. Not sure if it's working out though, so far he's destroyed all my furniture and ate my cat.

"Alas! I believe in the virtue of birds. And it only takes a feather for me to die laughing."


It might "might" have been funny if it were not thinly veiled propaganda.

The Abuse of Greatness is when it disjoins remorse from power. - Shakespeare

If they really wanted to be funny

The headline would have read: "Honey Badger Sales Skyrocket After Latest Gorilla Attack".

Do you feel brainwashed?

It's The Onion. Nothing is reverent to them. I feel entertained.

They are poking fun at the recent increase in gun sales across America, as though everyone will be sporting an AR15 on their backs.

That is as ridiculous as a gorilla IMO, though not historically unprecedented, and certainly not as scary as a gorilla.

Conflating the danger of a gun with the danger of a gorilla is also a tongue in cheek poke at MSM, as is their entire format.

Thanks for posting, I do love The Onion. :)

Just open the box and see

Michael Nystrom's picture

I don't think it is brainwashing

We see the obvious flaw in the argument: Guns are not Gorillas - they are two different things completely.

But others, without the context and understanding we have just think it is dumb and funny. For them, all of this theorizing about the 2nd Amendment is just background stuff.

The satire was probably written by some college kid, who just thought it was funny. I remember writing crap like that back when I was in college. You think you're so smart, when in fact, there is a - l o t to learn.

But then again, you might be right. It might just be a brainwashing operation. Some of the stuff on the onion is pretty funny. Like this one about Facebook being part of the CIA.


In my mind, that is not even satire. That is straight up truth. Facebook as part of the Military Industrial Complex. The USG being its biggest client. Chilling to think about, really.

My use of facebook is minimal.

But if they were actually

But if they were actually talking about humanzees! ha, ha.


You hit the nail on the head, as usual!

Maybe an unintended type of brainwashing
born out of ignorance


Michael Nystrom's picture

You hit the nail on the head, again

"Unintended brainwashing born out of ignorance."

I know that I was guilty of it. For all I know, I may still be practicing it.

I just had this insight: At some point in the process, I think Rand is going to have to throw his dad under the bus in order to get ahead. It will be like this gruesome hazing ritual. Like, "Here's your test, kid. Let's see who's side your on."

I think a lot of unintended brainwashing, born of ignorance happens all the time. I think sometimes we can see conspiracies in too many places. I think most of the time, we're dealing with simple ignorance. We live in an incredibly ignorant country.

Hnmmm gorrilas as defense.

Gorillas would go down pretty quick if they had a bunch of Guns pointed at them. What you need is Gorilla Armor for the Gorillas. Think about it, Gorillas are super strong and wearing bulky metal armor would be less of a burden to them.

Thanks, If I ever come across some Gorillas for hire I know now what to do with them.

Would you break into my house if you knew I had a Gorilla?

Would you break into my house if you knew I will shoot your ass?

Either way, I will defend myself and my property.

Personally, I want no part of assaulting a home that has a gorilla or an active gun owner.

Good point!

But really not the point

Gorilla's may be like guns in that respect,
but Guns are not Gorilla's


Gorillas don't kill people

unless they are like 90 feet tall and you put them on stage and they freak out and climb sky scrapers.

There is nothing strange about having a bar of soap in your right pocket, it's just what's happening.