36 votes

Buy Me Some Candy Or I'll Hold My Breath Till My Head Explodes

Some friends of mine created a child.

They have been caring for and meeting the needs of this child since the moment it was born.

The child used to be very well behaved. But lately it has been acting out - making unreasonable demands, attempting to undermine the authority of its parents, taking liberties.

And it isn't just a terror to its parents. All of the neighbors have seen the child act out by damaging property and making threats but are in no position to do anything other than inform the parents of the sins of the child and hope for the best.

Perhaps worst of all is the fact that the child's excesses have become so grandiose that most behaviors that would otherwise be deemed inappropriate are accepted for the sake of keeping the peace.

The situation is getting worse every day, and it doesn't seem likely that the child is going to change its ways on its own. The last straw may fall at any time and it's a really tough call whether or not reconciliation can be found. If not handled correctly the cold war might go hot.

The child has already demonstrated that it is willing to do nearly anything it can to maintain its position of power over its parents. It has even inflicted wounds on itself as a tactic to gain more control.

Is there a solution?



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237 years old.

This is not about a child.

As civilizations go...

The U.S. is barely out of diapers.

My greatest hope is to look back on these days in disbelief that it had to go so bad before it could get good again.

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When, then. When you stop screaming then you can play.........

...your video game. When you finish your vegetables, then you can have dessert.

All children test their parents. They are testing boundaries. Parents have to stand firm or the child will begin to rule the home, which is exactly what you are describing. The child wants to be disciplined, without parental discipline the child believes ( or realizes ) that the parents are weak and/or may not love the child.

Another good method of child discipline is to tell the misbehaving child that the next thing they want to do will be with-held as the form of punishment. My son refused to do his homework on a Saturday, but then wanted badly to spend the night at a friends house. I told him he could not spend the night at his friends and pointed out that he knew why. His friend asked why my son could not sleep-over and my son stated that he had not completed his homework.

Cause and effect. The parent has to make firm rules and stick by them. Children love boundaries, although the child complains about the boundaries, it makes them feel safe and that the parents really care. The parent must make sure the child understands what the child did to deserve punishment and the parent must be consistent in administering punishment that equals the misbehavior. Both parents have to work together or the child will drive a wedge between the two adults.

Being a parent is hard work. I only spanked one of my children once ( it turned out I was wrong ) and never spanked the other child. Both have turned into fine adults, much better people than I am. A parent must explain that the child's actions will have consequences and tell the child what those consequences will be for misbehaving. Parents must stand behind what they say, no matter how difficult.

When our government makes just laws, then the citizens will obey the laws.

That 'petulant child'

needs its allowance revoked, an old fashioned butt whoopin,' and time out in a room for 18 to life. Excellent analogy, Chris!

When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign: that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. ~J. Swift

Adam Lanze was that kid, our government is that kid too.

It is never enough. No matter what we do, the government is sick, inflation tax dependent, but inflation tax is wholly dependent on a stable manipulated currency. And ours is now unstable and out of control.

The government wants more, they demand it, they want our guns too, just in case things get to be too unstable then they can herd us around and haul us around in box cars to where ever they plan to bury us.

That is if they don't go whacko first and "try" to shoot us where we stand.

.

You didn't mention the...

...child's age. There has to be something that made this kid change overnight. Finding the source is the start. It's hard to have a solution without the source. If you know the source...you have the ability to apply a solution. Knowledge is power.

I'll keep the metaphor going...

Our best hope is that it's simple growing pains and the child will 'snap out of it' eventually and transform into a responsible earthly resident.

As to diet, on top of the balanced diet provided by its parents it also has friends with treats, steals whatever looks good, and even has a line of credit set up at the Mrs. Fields Cookie Shop.

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Michael Nystrom's picture

Brilliant

This is what seals it:

As to diet, on top of the balanced diet provided by its parents it also has friends with treats, steals whatever looks good, and even has a line of credit set up at the Mrs. Fields Cookie Shop.

The kid is a psychopath.

Can it be beat out of him, or is this just his inevitable, genetic makeup?

He's the man.

It only took 8 months in jail for me to figure out

GETTING CAUGHT SUCKS!

On another note, stealing candy and getting popped is humiliating 5 times. First the look in other shoppers eyes when they see you being led to the back room, second having to call your parents, third explaining that you were stealing candy, fourth when you get out of it by crying your eyes out, and fifth when you tell your friends about it and have to mention the crying bit.

Yes, I confess: I am the child in the essay :). But mostly it's about our spoiled rotten government...

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Michael Nystrom's picture

Ha ha

It sounds like your "treatment" worked. From your experience, I deduce that we need to frog-march the congress out of their privileged chambers, face the nation and admit what they've done.

He's the man.

And a victimless crime to boot!

I took to long to pull over then got out of my car and approached the officer giving him some attitude while he sprayed my chest and legs with mace. The judge said the 'court' had been very lenient with me previously. Then he gave me 1 year which was the maximum for 'fleeing'.

3 months were knocked off for good behavior and another 2 because I worked in the kitchen for most of the time. I look back at it now as a crash course in psychology and the human mind, especially the phenomenon of 'institutionization'. Just one example sums up the prevailing attitude of most of the people in there:

Before I got into the kitchen my celly was asked over the intercom if he wanted to work in the kitchen. He refused. I asked him why and he said that since he wasn't sentenced yet he wouldn't get any credit so he had no motivation to work for 'free'. I suggested that having something to do all day would make time go faster than just staring at the tee-vee all day, with all you could eat to boot. He said he'd rather just watch tv.

I remember this any time I attempt to appeal to someone's human side. Some people don't have one.

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As long as he doesn't...

...steal the other childrens silly string and super-soakers he will be restrained from further evil? Am I getting this yet?(I'm blonde...it takes me a while).

candy

Well that child certainly has raised its parents well!

Malo Periculosam Libertatem Quam Quietum Servitium
On y soit qui mal y pense

withdraw support

No allowance, no toys, no privileges. Do not petition or plead with the child. Punish bad behavior with ostracism and ignorance. Do not look for the perfect candidate to reform the child.

If all that fails, shoot the child's laptop.

“The welfare of the people in particular has always been the alibi of tyrants.” — Albert Camus

Cut the child out of your

Cut the child out of your life as much as possible. Watch it, because it's dangerous and you have to protect yourself and your loved ones, but go out f your way to avoid it.

BTW, folks here will disagree, but forget trying to change the child. It's hopeless. Completely. It will eventually self destruct. Just watch it and be wary.

I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be. Albert Einstein

perhaps

start a new child, and reinstate the rules that keep children good.

Michael Nystrom's picture

So you say, "Sorry kid,

You're in the need of some tough love.

And it is going to hurt.

It is going to hurt us as much as it is going to hurt you.

But it is necessary for our growth."

- - - - -

Cold war goes hot, Chris. There's no way around it. It is simply the nature of the universe. The only thing we can do is try to stop it. And failing that, make it through peacefully, without sacrificing our moral character (i.e. with dignity), and alive.

He's the man.
Michael Nystrom's picture

Chris

This is a brilliant essay.

He's the man.

Thank you Michael.

I make myself pause between onion videos so I can keep my street cred around these parts.

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Michael Nystrom's picture

Onion videos

Are some of the most informative videos there are.

As I always like to point out: CIA Facebook Video, which is basically true
http://www.theonion.com/video/cias-facebook-program-dramatic...

And I love the Onion New's tag line: "Beter News, Better Viewers." You see the absurdity, and it immediately calls to mind the absurdity of "Fair and balanced."

He's the man.

Onion News Network:

"Keeping you safe from the lies."

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jrd3820's picture

My Personal Solution

Is to not have kids.

However, I do work with kids a lot. How old is the child?

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.”
― Dr. Seuss

236 and a half years old.;-)

236 and a half years old.;-)

The terrible two hundreds.

You are correct sir.

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jrd3820's picture

lol

I hear that's the age when shtf ;)

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.”
― Dr. Seuss