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Teacher Arrested at JFK

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport this morning as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a press conference just before noon today, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. Although he did not identify the man, he confirmed the man has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

‘Al-Gebra is a problem for us’, the Attorney General said. ‘They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.’ They use secret code names like “X” and “Y” and refer to themselves as “unknowns” but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, “There are 3 sides to every triangle.” The Attorney General went on to say “Teaching our children sentient thought processes and equipping them to solve problems is dangerous and puts our government at risk.”

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Teacher arrested at JFK has nothing to worry about

I imagine that we only learn a fraction of such cases. In any event, this post speaks volumes about the warped values wrought by the "war on terror." Really, it's all about power. But I happen to live in the area. I'm aware there are set rules that apply to such circumstances. In all probability, the union will protect him. I mean, unless the Pentagon stays involved. Anyway, I wish the teacher speedy closure on this issue, with a positive outcome.

P.S. I've read all the comments. Man, are we a bunch of radicals, or what?

When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the Universe.
~ John Muir

Quite reasonable really:

1. A ruler is unconstitutional in the USA. And if he's a rich young ruler, even more so.
2. Protracting proceedings is the prerogative only of politicians.
3. "Compassing the death of the heir to the throne" is a capital offence in Japan, punishable by "something humorous but lingering, boiling oil, melted lead, something of the sort". The airport authorities certainly got the point, there.
4. Carrying a slide rule incorporates ancient history into what is supposed to be a modern subject.
5. It's terrorists that calculate, especially the calculating young woman accompanying him.


I need a good laugh =)

Daughter of 1776 American Revolutionists

This does't "add" up.....

What about the "rule" of law.




That took me a minute, But it was quite funny.


and a rofl too

LOL cool story even if its not true

i got a good laugh thanks :D


This added up to a lot of LOLs, from me, the algebra wiz!! Enjoyable!

"Butt Head" or "Butt Hole" Security

Butt, butt, butt. butt, your honor, I have was trained for six weeks to sniff out terrorists...

Was that in the plane JFK?

Or simply between the two points of takeoff and arrival?

I think we should

all have some PI and discuss this!

I'm sure statistics would show that approximately 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288 people out of every 10 are pro gun!


the society is heading towards an exponential decay.

thank you

very clever!

It used to be that the government didn't want people of color...

...to be educate.

Now they are afraid of everyone.


I've read that in China, I

I've read that in China, I think under Mao, they killed people who wore glasses because they thought that meant the people could read.

This sort of stuff explains why we have a centralized education system in the US with the results being that our standings in the world have continually declined since it went into effect in 1980.


Read my ellipse...

the AG said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes. I am gratified that our government has given us a sine that it is intent on protracting us from these math-dogs who are willing to disintegrate us with calculus disregard. Murky statisticians love to inflict plane on every sphere of influence," the AG continued, adding: "Under the circumferences, we must differentiate their root, make our point, and draw the line."

(I did not write this. This joke has been going around for several years! It's still punny every time!)

I'm a serial entrepreneur and liberty activist from Texas!




"Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it." -- Joseph Goebbels

Oo, another one! Sentenced to


Detained in Quanta-namo Bay without due process. Indefinitely.

We must demonstrate against this!

I believe in the freedom to be what we choose to be.



"Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it, and eventually they will believe it." -- Joseph Goebbels

Hey Beavis, the mass of your

Hey Beavis, the mass of your a$$ divided by the size of the bucket it can fit inside is equal to the density of your butt! huh, huh, uhhhh, huh, huh...

he, heh, hmm, hehe,heheh, mmmmm, yea! thanks, Butthead.

itzSteve's picture


he, heh, hmm, hehe,heheh, mmmmm....you said butt!!!

How could they *differentiate* the teacher from the sheep?

Did he simply not *integrate* into the masses?

I believe in the freedom to be what we choose to be.

ytc's picture

. . . truly dismal. they *intercepted* him, when they saw his

*repeating decimal* dangling down, and growing non-stop (gasp!), from his back pocket.

Not his asymptote?

C'mon that one was easy


ytc's picture

True. Keeping his dismal repeating decimals in asymptote-bag

and taking off on a *self-avoiding walk* might have kept him on a siner plane.

The angle of the dangle

Is equal to the heat of the beat when the throb of the knob is constant. Swish

Ron Paul Was Right


You're not English as well, by any chance?

I love your algorythms.

My rhombus is approaching infinity!

Nerds! You are all Nerds! :)

Love it! LOL!!