The Most Paranoid Conspiracy Theorist of AllSubmitted by dwalters on Thu, 01/31/2013 - 01:36
Uncle Sam is the most paranoid conspiracy theorist of all.
Uncle Sam will feel up your grandma or small child without pause in the name of the fear that some improbable event will be perpetrated by those dangerous individuals.
Uncle Sam will listen to your cell phone calls or read your text messages without a warrant because he perceives everyone as a potential threat that must be surveilled just in case.
Uncle Sam will infiltrate a group of impressionable youths where no credible threat of violence exists and manufacture one because in this modern age people that don't like him are all "terrorizers."
Uncle Sam will label people "mentally ill" in attempts to disarm them because all law abiding citizens that have firearms are potentially murderous peasantry.
Uncle Sam is so worried about losing power that he will commission his mainstream propaganda machine to label his dissenters as quacks.
Uncle Sam wipes off his poo with the Constitution because Uncle Sam is the most paranoid conspiracy theorist of all.
Uncle Sam leads by example. The American People are broke and paranoid too, but the People are rightfully paranoid.