174 votes

The Most Paranoid Conspiracy Theorist of All

Uncle Sam is the most paranoid conspiracy theorist of all.

Uncle Sam will feel up your grandma or small child without pause in the name of the fear that some improbable event will be perpetrated by those dangerous individuals.

Uncle Sam will listen to your cell phone calls or read your text messages without a warrant because he perceives everyone as a potential threat that must be surveilled just in case.

Uncle Sam will infiltrate a group of impressionable youths where no credible threat of violence exists and manufacture one because in this modern age people that don't like him are all "terrorizers."

Uncle Sam will label people "mentally ill" in attempts to disarm them because all law abiding citizens that have firearms are potentially murderous peasantry.

Uncle Sam is so worried about losing power that he will commission his mainstream propaganda machine to label his dissenters as quacks.

Uncle Sam wipes off his poo with the Constitution because Uncle Sam is the most paranoid conspiracy theorist of all.

Uncle Sam leads by example. The American People are broke and paranoid too, but the People are rightfully paranoid.




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Dammit You reminded me of an idea I had-you cant be a conspiracy

theorist and a something at the same time...

BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS!

No biggie - it'll come back to me when the time is right - it always does.

Oh, and great thread btw. Too true - governments love to play the paranoia game because you can't argue against it. Paranoids will feed off anything you try to tell, ask, or give them. It's all 'proof' to them. And a lot of the time they are faking it because they know they just have to throw a hissy fit and people will back off and let them have their way so things don't get worse.

But they always do anyway.

I saw the best minds of my generation, destroyed by pandas starving hysterical naked

-Allen Ginsberg

Cyril's picture

Great, spot on post of yours which speaks the truth...

...

one always ends up being as totally paranoid as today's Uncle Sam, once they have become criminal with a long list of crimes and infamies getting ever bigger one after the other.

We could have asked Stalin.

"Bear."

"Cyril" pronounced "see real". I code stuff.

http://Laissez-Faire.Me/Liberty

"To study and not think is a waste. To think and not study is dangerous." -- Confucius

bump

+1

Too True!

You said it all!

skippy