Announcing the official opening of the DP Plus Exchange Market!Submitted by Smudge Pot on Wed, 01/30/2013 - 23:55
For Immediate Release
Announcing the official opening of the DP Plus Exchange Market!
Today marks the opening of the DP Plus Exchange Market (DPPEM), a vehicle for trading and marketing bumps.
"Each unused bump represents stored value, potential value but it's often unused" said Smudge Pot, one of the many so-called "Bumpeteers" deploying this unique platform. "Utilising acceptance scores on each DP profile, bumps and plusses will carry different values, presumably with higher acceptance scores commanding higher values for the bump" said Pot. "However we might see an opposite effect with some unaccepted but notorious posters" he rambled on.
When asked what a bump or plus might actually be worth, Mr. Pot said "we have no business in setting prices, only in facilitating transactions and occasionally rigging, front running or skimming just enough to maintain credibility in today's pragmatic investment mindset" and cut off further inquiry by waving his arms and blurting "market discovery". Market and trading operations, according to Pot would be maintained by charging annual membership fees and "shamelessly doing backroom deals and playing favourites so if you didn't before you better play nice with me now".
Pot eventually sees derivatives market support on the same platform featuring realtime inputs and predictive analysis of future performance of a bump. "If somebody starts spewing nonsense or issues the classic DP poster-suicide note you can bet their value is gonna plummet and it would be wise to get short, no?" asked Pot. "I'd say it's just another way to keep the market ostensibly honest. And I'd also say it's about freedom, the freedom to use a plus or bump to express yourself or the freedom to sell it to the highest bidder, capitalism at it's finest!".
Having worked his way through a 12 pack, Pot got a far away look in his eyes as the wind gently stirred his luxurious long hair as he said "Imagine a world where your plus actually means something".
For licensing contact Smudge Pot.
For press inquiries contact Smudge Pot.
To invest contact Smudge Pot.
To take Smudge Pot out to lunch contact Smudge Pot.
All other inquiries please contact Smudge Pot.
Disclaimer: The DPPEM may or may not have the total approval and enthusiastic support of Michael Noystrom. It's really hard to tell. For all you know it does.