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Homeland Security Tip: Fend Off Shooter With Scissors

Don't some's for your own safety...

(NEWSER) – The Department of Homeland Security has released a video advising Americans on how to deal with a mass shooting—and some of its tips have the New York Post scratching its head. For instance, the video suggests that "if you are caught out in the open and cannot conceal yourself or take cover, you might consider trying to overpower the shooter with whatever means are available" ... and then shows a man arming himself with scissors.

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If you're unarmed, this video is good advice. You should watch it again if you were snarking at it.

Love the soothing voice of the "Official Govt Narrator"

It's like they always hire the same guy to narrate 'official', soothing, bureaucratic videos like this one lol.

Also noteworthy (of course):

A complete absence of any reference to:

- defending yourself with a firearm

- defending others with a firearm

- defending yourself or others with anything other than a pair of scissors (lol)

Because good, normal, responsible Federal Citizens would never carry a firearm to save their own lives or anyone elses.

Only bad, abnormal, irresponsible Domestic Terrorists would ever dream of carrying a firearm to save their own life or the life of anyone else.

I don't know much about

I don't know much about tactics but it seems to me the last officer in the formation wasn't doing his job he needed to be spending more time checking for threats behind the group but he just walks backwards up the stairs while looking forward.

fear mongering!

That's all this is.

block the door so he knows somebody is in there hiding?

wtf is that

A true flower can not blossom without sunlight and a true man can not live without love.

meekandmild's picture

Homeland security needs to cancel the 7000 Assault rifles

and buy 7000 pairs of assault scissors.

They didn't show Nidal Malik

They didn't show Nidal Malik Hasan's picture, but they showed the other two shooters. Don't want to offend anyone.

It said not to laugh

But... HAHAHA!

ASS Alert! ASS Alert! This is not a drill! This is a real ASS!

The VA Tech shooter, the Fort Hood shooter, the attempted assassin of Abby Gifford, these are all ASSes that will live on in our memories.

An ASS (Attempted Shooter Situation) can be very scary if you've never been in one before. Why don't schools and business run ASS drills like they run fire drills? An ASS could occur anytime, anywhere. Are Americans woefully unprepared for ASSes?

What about ASS detectors? They could work similarly to smoke detectors: if an ASS is detected somewhere in a building the ASS alarm would sound, potentially saving the lives of an untold number of would-be victims of the ASS.

There also needs to be a poster and flyer campaign detailing how to identify an ASS, how to protect oneself from the ASS, or run away from it if possible, and a number where text messages can be sent in case the ASS is within hearing distance and it would be unsafe to speak to a 911 operator.

May our thoughts and prayers be with the victims of all past and future ASSes in America.

Chris Indeedski!

Daily Paul cured my abibliophobia.

That's the most insulting

thing I've ever seen produced by a government agency.

TwelveOhOne's picture

I've seen more insulting...

Go to, and search for fluoride. They say "ask your dentist if you are taking the right amount of fluoride."

Yes, and I'll ask my hairdresser if I'm taking the right amount of arsenic.

I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. - Fully Informed Jury Association - Jin Shin Jyutsu (energy healing)

Wow. Reminds me of those duck

Wow. Reminds me of those duck and cover videos.

If the atomic bomb explodes, duck and cover!

As I recall

That sharp pointed instuments is all natives had against gunpowder in history. There are still descendants around from these people so maybe there is some truth to this.


And when the cops arrive - expect to be treated like the

worthless citizens you all are. Do not fear the gestapo - they will merely be assaulting you for your own safety.

All joking aside - I know the scissors things sounds stupid -but I remember some solid advice from one of our line training instructors giving the same basic advise - he said to always make sure you have three weapons in ANY fight. Your mind is number one, your body is number two. Number 3 them becomes the important one. Sure your rifle would be the ideal number three, followed by a pistol, followed by your k-bar. But what if those are not available - well , then find the best number 3 the situation provides -if that is a pair of scissors - well take the scissors. If that is some rope, well then take the rope. ANYTHING is better than nothing. Hell, throwing the vase full of flowers will still buy you some time.

I have to say the part where they ALL get under the conference table is really funny though. They might be smarter to tip that sucker over and block the door with it. And quick question - do the inappropriate touching and sexual harassment guidelines have provisions for active shooter situations - cause you know damn well if you climb under that table with those ladies in skirts - your getting a claim filed against you.

"ladies in skirts..." HEY NOW, watch that talk

Why didn't you include guys in skirts? Do you hate the Scottish? >:|


I apologize for my insensitive remarks

I thought it was understood that any guy who actually climbed under the table was a skirt.

Self-Defense Against Fruit

Free includes debt-free!

Laughing so hard

it brought tears to my eyes..."What if he comes at me with a gun and I don't have a banana?" Chit!

"If you want something you've never had before, you have to do something you've never done before." Debra Medina

To quote Dr. Crane

" I am running with scissors! "

Life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate.
Don't Give me Liberty, I'll get up and get it myself!



"If you want something you've never had before, you have to do something you've never done before." Debra Medina

So the DHS should return the 7000 AR-15's and

order a bunch of Fiskers.

Is it just me or is our country run by a bunch of effing idiots?

Facing life alone is a better choice than having it Centrally Planned by those whom don't know or care about you.


I particularly liked the tip at the end for when the cops show up: Put your scissors down and hold your hands in the air...

"If you want something you've never had before, you have to do something you've never done before." Debra Medina

Guess Edward Scissorhands is

Guess Edward Scissorhands is screwed.

Oh, yeah-

as the video declares - it's all about their [the cops] protection! They sure look pretty protected to me!

"If you want something you've never had before, you have to do something you've never done before." Debra Medina

Uh, have they never

seen Indiana Jones and the guy with the big sword (which is slightly more deadly than a pair of scissors):


The law cannot make a wicked person virtuous…God’s grace alone can accomplish such a thing.
Ron Paul - The Revolution

Setting a good example is a far better way to spread ideals than through force of arms. Ron Paul

Our new spokesman.

I tend to use

Q-tips when a struggle ensues . worked for me on numerous occasions
just make sure they're the plastic stemmed style. This prevents
massive splintering as compared with the wooden sticked.

LOL-Good one!-

I was thinking - if push came to shoot - I'd give 'em my 'ol 'evil eye' look...

"If you want something you've never had before, you have to do something you've never done before." Debra Medina