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The Correct Way to Roast a Pig

Last holiday season as family was gathered together for feast and festivities little girl was in kitchen watching mother prepare meal.

Oven preheated, pig on way into pan, mother takes knife and lops off both ends of beast.

"Mommy, why do you cut the ends off the pig roast before putting it in pan?" inquired small child.

"It's how mother taught me" she replied.

"Does it make meat taste better?" child must know.

"It must that, dear grandma is here today, shall we ask her?"

Together they went to living room where grandma sat guard over television ensuring battling footballers not skip out early against sixty minute workday.

"Mother, dear granddaughter desires vital information domestic. You taught me well to be sure, and I pass on your knowledge with delight. But we must ask, when preparing the pig for roasting, why ends are detached. Are these piggy parts an offense to the palate?"

"My my, no no dear daughter! The ends are as fine as any part in the middle, favoring a soup to flavor. But as for the cutting off, why it is the way I was taught and the way I've always done! Let go us three to find great-grandmother to child and put the question to her!

In favorite spot at window sat great-grandmother, keeping watch over birds in feeder, cursing crafty squirrel. "Please tell us! You simply must! For we have no one else to ask and are sore perplexed! Tell us Granny, matriarchical mistress of meals innumerable, why did you cut the front and back end off the pig before setting it to cook, with no meaning to the act at all?"

"Daughter it was yesterday so long ago and teach you I did and right. You've taught your daughter just as well, and young one has greatest benefit of generational wisdom! Wise and properit is to cut the ends off the pig, and with good purpose that I shall tell!"

"I cut the ends off the roast because it was too big to fit in the pan."

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