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The Onion: Los Angeles On High Alert As LAPD Back On Regular Duty

"LOS ANGELES—Los Angeles residents are reportedly on edge today following reports that hundreds of armed and extremely dangerous Los Angeles Police Department officers are resuming regular patrolling duties after the conclusion of Tuesday’s manhunt for rogue ex-cop Christopher Dorner.

“I mean, just knowing they’re out there is terrifying—how can I feel safe when these maniacs are on the loose in my neighborhood?” said a visibly rattled Ashley Stillson, 38, who explained that she strictly observed the city’s advisory to avoid the historically violent, unpredictable predators by going out in groups and avoiding the streets entirely after nightfall.

“These guys are volatile and, in many cases, mentally unstable. Something needs to be done about them because I fear for my family knowing these sick people are still at large.” At press time, sources reported the tense mood in L.A. had brightened considerably after news of a serial rapist diverted numerous LAPD officers to a sprawling manhunt in nearby San Bernardino.


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divide and conquer reversed...

As long as the LA mafioso are shooting at eachother, the rest of the population can get some peace.


shine it.

Not funny, unfortunately

Just true.

I like it when that gangbangers are just shooting each other

Guess I'm not the only one :)

The only honest news out there...

The US is officially a spoof of itself now.

Love or fear? Choose again with every breath.

Again these folks hit it

Again these folks hit it right on the mark. I actually felt safer with the "Maniac Cop" on the loose.