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Implications if the Sasquatch DNA results are verified

At first blush this may seem off-topic but it has potentially very deep philosophical, social, legal, and political implications.

Two days ago Dr. Melba Ketchum, owner/director of a forensic DNA laboratory in Texas, issued an immediately controversial paper describing the numerous tests that she and several independent labs she contracted ran on over 100 hair, blood, saliva, and tissue samples of alleged or suspected Sasquatch/Bigfoot source from 14 states and two Canadian provinces. She reports very startling conclusions.

All the sample tests showed fully modern human mitochondrial DNA (mtDNA)of the types arising from Europe and the Middle East. At the same time all samples showed nuclear DNA that had some gene sequences in common with humans and certain other primates but also some sequences that matched nothing in the Genbank® all-species database. (Some samples collected for this study were screened out because under magnification they matched known wildlife, domestic animals, or were clearly human. Control samples and samples of DNA from the collectors were also tested as a precaution.)

These results suggest that all the samples in this study came from hybrid creatures with at least one purely human woman somewhere in the lineage, with all other females in the lineage being either fully human or hybrid females carrying human mtDNA. This can be determined because DNA found in the mitochondria are always inherited from the mother; only nuclear DNA (nuDNA) is mingled at fertilization.

Besides the sensational zoological/anthropological value of Ketchum's results, if verified by others, what do they imply for society? What are the ramifications of large, hairy, smelly, apparently nocturnal creatures that are in some portion genetically human living in wooded areas of North America and reportedly other continents? Ketchum's findings, if proved accurate, mean that we have company -- company that has for many generations been supremely independent of their small, weak, civilized cousins who have miserable night vision.

OK, I know there is inevitable smirking right about now so let's be a bit lighthearted here and consider:

Were Mongoloid Native Americans illegal aliens invading Bigfoot's territory?
If a Sasquatch "tribe" protests a dam project, would it have legal recourse?
Is Bigfoot a secret plot to advance Agenda 21?
Is Agenda 21 directed at restoring the territorial rights of Sasquatch?
If a man impregnates a Sasquatch, should he have parental rights?
Should Bigfoot be required to show proof of citizenship?
Where would we deport an illegal Sasquatch anyhow?
Sasquatch reportedly kill and eat deer. Shouldn't they have to get a deer license?
Or be ticketed for jaywalking?
Public nudity?
Will we have to build extra-sturdy jail cells to hold all the big, hairy scofflaws?
Will police need to carry an EXTRA-high-voltage taser?

OK, back to serious: There is bound to be a huge outcry from religious fundamentalists. Bigfoot is the AntiChrist or the spawn of Satan. A new target for the KKK. Some stuffed-shirt anthropologists will have heart attacks or commit suicide because their pet theories that have made it into textbooks will go out on the trash heap. Human exceptionalism will be taken down a few pegs. Natural rights theory will need to be reworked, expanded.

Of course these ideas have all been thought of before by a courageous few Sasquatch researchers (yes, I was one back in my younger days). Now, however, due to the implications of the Ketchum DNA study, we must all potentially face these questions in a serious manner.

Note to scoffers: You are not alone. The scientific community will be especially vicious in your behalf. However, Ketchum has received offers to re-test the samples from her study by other DNA researchers so the necessary process of scientifically verifying or debunking her work has begun.

I cannot give you Ketchum's paper, which is highly technical anyway. Like most scientific papers you can order it online for a fee. I'm just not sure where to order it though as it was sent to me for comment. There has been much criticism of the report, mainly by people who haven't read it, beginning months before its release. There is plenty to see by Googling "Ketchum Bigfoot," "Ketchum Sasquatch," or "Ketchum DNA."

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Bigfoot? You know what they say about big feet...

...big shoes.

I saw the best minds of my generation, destroyed by pandas starving hysterical naked

-Allen Ginsberg

HMMMM,

I was thinking it was something else, lets see, what was it? Oh well, can't seem to remember. hmmm, o well. nevermind. big shoes just doesn't sound right.

Witness!

OK, I might be taking this too far now... lol!

This is the article that got my posting privileges revoked:
http://bklim.newsvine.com/_news/2013/05/12/18212165-dr-stan-...

I confess

I like the woods. I like to drink. Beer goggles... what can I say?
He never even sent me roses.

This is the article that got my posting privileges revoked:
http://bklim.newsvine.com/_news/2013/05/12/18212165-dr-stan-...

you seem a little

chatty.
just sayin ;)

"The two weakest arguments for any issue on the House floor are moral and constitutional"
Ron Paul