5 votes

‘Toaster Pastry Gun Freedom Act’ proposed in Maryland

"A Maryland state senator has crafted a bill to curb the zeal of public school officials who are tempted to suspend students as young as kindergarten for having things — or talking about things, or eating things — that represent guns, but aren’t actually anything like real guns.
Sen. J. B. Jennings, a Republican who represents Baltimore Harford Counties, introduced “The Reasonable School Discipline Act of 2013″ on Thursday, reports The Star Democrat.
“We really need to re-evaluate how kids are punished,” Jennings told The Star Democrat. “These kids can’t comprehend what they are doing or the ramifications of their actions.”
“These suspensions are going on their permanent records and could have lasting effects on their educations,” he added.
A nationwide flurry of suspensions seemed to reach an absurd level recently when Josh Welch, a second-grader at Park Elementary School in Baltimore, Maryland, was suspended for two days because his teacher thought he shaped a strawberry, pre-baked toaster pastry into something resembling a gun. (RELATED: Second-grader suspended for breakfast pastry)
“I just kept on biting it and biting it and tore off the top of it and kind of looked like a gun,” the seven-year-old told Fox News.
“But it wasn’t,” he astutely added.
As Reason’s Hit & Run blog noted, Park Elementary School officials later offered counseling to other students who may have been traumatized by the pastry.
Senate Bill 1058 restricts the disciplinary options Maryland public school officials can use for any student who “brings to school or possesses” an image of a gun or an object that might look like a gun but isn’t one.
Students could also form their fingers in the shape of a gun without fear of reprisal.
The bill also includes a section mandating counseling for school officials who fail to distinguish between guns and things that resemble guns. School officials who fail to make such a distinction more than once would face discipline themselves.
Another provision of the proposed law would keep incidents involving non-threatening objects and images from going on a student’s permanent record. Elementary school-age students would be especially protected.
The bill also does not change any law or guidelines concerning actual violence or students who bring actual weapons to school."

More: http://news.yahoo.com/toaster-pastry-gun-freedom-act-propose...




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This may be the most absurd sentence ever constructed:

"Park Elementary School officials later offered counseling to other students who may have been traumatized by the pastry."

This is the article that got my posting privileges revoked:
http://bklim.newsvine.com/_news/2013/05/12/18212165-dr-stan-...

Kellogs officials consider ing putting

Warning on packaging: " Poptarts should be chewed from the top down or aroound the margins in a circular fashion progressing to the last bite in the center so as to avoid irrational fits of silhouette phobia."

With all due respect, I will no longer be a voting prostitute for Constitution rejecting harlots.

I hear my entire state is to be outlawed

unless we change our borders to make Idaho a square or circle, or some less terrifying shape.

This is the article that got my posting privileges revoked:
http://bklim.newsvine.com/_news/2013/05/12/18212165-dr-stan-...

Mommas, Don't let your babies...accidently chew of bits of food

that leave remainders, which vaguely look like anything dangerous.

What is you have meatloaf, and what remains on your plate has the general shape of a miniature nuclear bomb?

Can you reasonably expect a drone strike against your home tonight, as one being associated with terrorism?

Statist Jennings' face is due

Statist Jennings' face is due to meet a sloppy pastry.

Can anyone materialize this incident?

School's fine. Just don't let it get in the way of thinking. -Me

Study nature, not books. -Walton F. Dutton

Government Control

that's what the schools are instilling. THAT'S ALL! Brainwashing kids to fear guns, fear even THINKING about guns because a fearful population is easier to CONTROL! HELLO thought police!

skippy

So we have a President who can secretly target anybody he wants

for secret assassination, without any accountability or due process.

And he governs a nation including children, who ARE accountable and punishable, if they so much as chew a toaster pastry so that it vaguely has the abstract and general shape of a firearm.

Amazing.

And what do you want to bet that MOST of those teachers and school officials in those schools supported the guy who can secretly kill anyone with no punishment. While the children they watch over have to ever vigilant that the food left on their plate doesn't even have the vague shape of a firearm?

What about pencil sharpeners?

They look like wall-mounted grenade launchers...
https://www.google.com/search?q=wall+pencil+sharpener&hl=en&...

How to tell if a panda's been eyeballin' your woman - next Focus on Pandas

Desk staplers can be unfolded to a 90 degree angle, producing

an item with dimensions very similar to that of a handgun. With one half chrome plated and suggesting a barrel, and the other half made of acrylic suggesting a pistol stock - they resemble a firearm a lot more than a chewed toaster pastry does.

I would think that the next thing we will have is mandatory expulsion from school and long prison sentences (maybe even a gallows in the school yard) would be appropriate for anyone hyperexpenting a stapler and holding it, even momentarily, with the chromed base pointing in the direction of anyone or anything.

This guy must not have got

This guy must not have got the memo. The pupose behind creating these humiliating and traumatic scenes for children surrounding these obviously absurd incidents has to do with brain biology. The way these events are reported are even affecting the way you and I think about guns, and I mean the physical processes our brains go through when the subject comes up. By creating this kind of cognitive dissonance and emotional charge and relating it to a specific object or subject, our perception of guns begin to change, even at a physical level dealing with neural pathways and other brain chemistry. Guns are no longer just another tool, or a common item found in every home. They now carry with them an emotional, even a traumatic memory. This causes the brain to suspend reason and logic when dealing with the subject and resort to a fight or flight type of mode in order to defend against the pain, humiliation, or confusion that it has stored from previous events. Eric Holder made the statement about how we must change change the way people think about guns, I think he even used the term brain washing. Well they have achieved it. It doesn't even really matter what side of the issue you are on, if they can successfully deliver humiliating trauma, disorientating confusion, or extreme emotion surrounding the object, then they have taken a big step toward bypassing the firewall of reason in your mind and opened up access to the primal emotional part of the brain that is easier to control.

Many decisions in life aren't decisions at all, but choices

between different options of how to obtain a goal that has been preordained for them by someone else - going to college, getting married, buying a house. Sometimes it is the family that makes the decision, spoken or unspoken, but often it is the loudly spoken demands of the larger culture around an individual that drives them to find someone to marry, quick, get a car almost but not quite as nice as the bosses, etc.

How to tell if a panda's been eyeballin' your woman - next Focus on Pandas

I think teachers,

I think teachers, administrators and school districts could be sued for causing irrational emotional distress to the children. That should be added that to the bill.

If nothing else, the children should be taught to turn the pop-tart 90 degrees counter clockwise and say it's a sculpture of the state of Idaho.

Well You Know Pop Tarts Are Dangerous

to EAT because of the GMO crap they are made of! No matter WHAT shape they are!

skippy

those Dangerous TARTS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=fJsTp3oegmc...

With all due respect, I will no longer be a voting prostitute for Constitution rejecting harlots.

scawarren's picture

We don't need another law we

We don't need another law we need teachers and administrators that have some freaking common sense.

yeah, but I'd love there to be a big push for this bill

just to shake up their smugness.

Integrity means having to say things that people don't want to hear & especially to say things that the regime doesnt want to hear -RonPaul