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Help wanted, sales/marketing for small technology firm. Plus a good read.

We can do this right? Do a Help Wanted post?

Small, highly expert technology firm seeks sales/marketing person(s).

The scenario:

There's a lot of technology development shops out there but not many with the hard core programming and database competency that ours does. If we can't get the job done with metawares such as PHP or javascript we'll drop down to machine or assembly languages or even raw binary if we have to.

So yeah "we do websites" but that simply means our software presumes that it's networked. Big deal, almost all software is networked these days but that doesn't stop it from being ABSOLUTELY FASCINATING to us and the reason why is the APPLICATION is different every time because we're not just cranking out bits and bytes, WE GET TO INTERFACE WITH PEOPLE'S LIVES. And we become immersed in whatever client's universe to the point where we become mini or temporary experts in their industry and the process is so consuming that when we do the work all marketing, all promotion, all outside world ceases to exist for us. And what you hear is not silence, it's a hum, the hum, the buzz that indicates that we are truly truly happy geeks glued to our monitors.

A fact is that for about a decade we had an edge on EVERYBODY because the big players, IBM, SAP, Oracle were so top heavy and cumbersome and unresponsive that us mid-level geeks had ALL of the attention and we came up with ALMOST ALL of the solutions. Plus to our further advantage the only other major player in the field, Microsoft was utterly intent, and seems still intent on re-inventing the wheel. However that game has changed now due to the OTHER big players becoming more agile and responsive PLUS....

Now here is the nuclear bomb in this industry...

Plus the fact that people all over the world have had two decades to learn software and programming and know what? They finally caught up. And know what else? Some of them are really good and this point and know what else else?

They work for pennies.

The only problem is they DON'T have our ethics and they DON'T have the client's best interests at heart, all they want is access to your wallet and if they rob 20 suckers a week whereas it takes us at least 60-90 days to turn around a proper project, well they don't care, they have no reputation to maintain. But the fact is the technical cat is out of the bag and in fact a Massai warrior minding cattle on the plains of the Sudan is theoretically capable of doing the same job we do. In short this means our market is somewhat limited. And it's getting smaller every day.

The client:

So while we used to get jobs literally in the multi-millions, these days a "big" job for us is in the $40k range. But our real range is the $20k range and BELOW. Honestly, most of what we do these days we've already done before, the core software exists on our shelf or open-source so our client is the "SMB" range, Small-Medium sized Business and this can be an ambitous entrepreneur, a family operation or small corporation usually doing from a half mil in sales to $5M and they want one of four things:

  1. Get me business I don't already have.
  2. Help me retain/maximize the business I have.
  3. Make me more efficient so I keep more on the bottom line.
  4. Help me create something entirely new and different.

The pay:

Industry standard is 20% off the top on our payment cycle. Industry standard payment cycle is 3-part, down, beta and delivery but depending on the job or the client's cash flow this might break down to 4 or even 5. And we never release software unless we're paid in full or there is a major "basis for trust" in this client which means we're in ink so deep it's practically written in the blood of our first-born. And given as we don't really get out of bed for a project under $2-3k and our target projects are in the $20k range, well, we're not exactly talking chicken feed here. That puts a couple GRAND in your pocket and that we hope is worth YOU getting out of bed for.

No experience necessary but if you want it we're the place to get it.

All we really need are clearly stated problems to solve but we're a process-oriented shop which means you will see the same cycle again and again: we identify the problem, we identify the solution, we take the complex problem and chop it up into bite-sized chunks, we serialize or parallelize them, we knock them down like so many bowling pins, we solve the problem, we evaluate our results. Real world, real time, real people, real results. So your first challenge is to go find us problems we can solve with technology.

Sadly, there are many problems in life we cannot solve with technology. Greed, hate and lust are among these. We cannot repair broken relationships no matter how hard Match.com tries to tell you otherwise nor can we bring the dead back to life. Did it ever occur to you that Match.com was created by geeks that can't get a date to save their lives? However the technology we build might just bring you good things in life. We can in fact rebuild you and make you stronger, better, faster...

We can make you a Bionic Man. Or a Bionic Business. Wait you are the sales person. TELL THEM WE CAN PUT THEM ON ROLLER SKATES.

And incidentally if you are a young ambitious person looking for an internship that actually pays and you get to learn technology project management at the same time, our shop has a proud history of interns that have gone on to achieve great things.

Final note before the punch line: I'm not sure why this is but over time, we have heard from women entrepreneurs and executives that we are a "woman-friendly shop". They talk about how we are "ego free" and I have no idea how to interpret this because as far as ego goes I have a MASSIVE EGO but who brings a good idea to the table, the heck if we care what sex you are. We've worked with some ASTOUNDINGLY BRILLIANT WOMEN and it's about the space between the ears not the legs. I ask these women clients what makes us different and they say men always basically write them off and emotionally or intellectually call them "cup cake". All we can say is "what a bunch or morons, their loss our gain, let's make money".

The punch line.

If this is you or you know somebody who is, they have to be recommended by you, our community. I like that part about us, the accountability. If our deal isn't sincere, if we aren't the solutions developers we say we are, if we jack you over guess what your recourse is?

You can turn around and tell everybody in this movement that Smudge Pot might tell a good story but he's up to his ears in sheep-dip. And my sano rep in business and as an activist is done. I can change clothes and I can change names but in this movement, the movement with longer memories than elephants, you can run but you can't hide. I'm just really confident in our capability and our ethics. It's really hard to beat the combo of capability and ethics.

Plus experience. We have been in the business for a long time and we have seen just about every way that people try to screw people and our contracts are nearly bullet proof, I know, I write them and I write them in as close to plain English as technology allows.

20 years of history and never been taken to court. Believe it or not, in this industry, that's saying something. Again, if you want to learn technology project management, real time, real people, real measurable results the money you make from sales will be almost trivial. What you will learn will last you a lifetime.

PM me, I can't wait to hear from you. And if you read this far, tell me if I didn't tell you at least one thing that benefited you.


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holla at me. PMing now...


C'mon Smudge, someone who really has a massive ego doesn't really believe they have one, do they? Could it be that you're just confident in what you bring to the table and other people see the same?

No I really do have a massive ego.

I guess it just so happens when you have one it's a sure-fire formula for getting humbled. Plus, humility can be a powerful weapon. Can't tell you how many potential scrapes I have got out of, especially with cops, by just being humble.

Cop once pulled me over for an expired registration and natch, that is just the type of thing us geeks are so likely to screw up. We can design databases and write SQL select statements a mile long but we forget the mundane aspects of life. But cop says sir, do you know why I pulled you over and I looked him dead in the eye and said "probably because I'm a moron". And this guy's face didn't change a bit at first, he's glaring at me with his standard "I can eat you for breakfast" look but his belly starts quivering and he's trying to control it but I start laughing and he starts laughing and the more he laughs the more I laugh and we had one of those moments. There on the side of the highway, cars and trucks whizzing by, all of it, the whole world for that moment...

ceased to exist.

When women laugh it's like music. Love the sound of women and children laughing. But when us rough and tough bros laugh it's like we become children again. I should have said "hey how 'bout we skip school and play hookey?" Right then he would have gone for it. But I didn't want to push it too far. I think I remembered my reg was expired but the ego thing: I'm not really that forgetful, I just consider such things to be beneath me. I'm one of those non-bed-makers. I consider bed-making to be absolutely demonstrative of the utter futility of 80% of human endeavour. I'd be an absolute nihilist if I didn't just get suck a kick out of life. One thing I am sure of is I'm really not sure I have any right to be as happy as I am.

I guess that's a trick to life because as a young man I was pretty much ANGRY with just about everything and almost everybody. Don't know what snapped me out of it except for a few pretty severe beat-downs but somehow I came out basically liking people. And that must mean I basically like myself and I guess that means I learned how to forgive myself and I guess that means I forgive others.

So with all of this I return to our point: just the fact that I basically like myself and think I'm not such a bad overall guy means I have a high opinion of myself thence ego.

Be brave, be brave, the Myan pilot needs no aeroplane.


That was a very refreshing post, Smudge Pot :-)

If we knew then what we know now...lol

"What if the American people learn the truth" - Ron Paul

Ah yes my friend. If only we could do it all again.

I think that's why I keep software development in my life.

All other aspects of life seem infinitely subjective but when we make software that works, it's just works. It will work FOR EVER. It all comes down to math and math doesn't lie. The people that use math might lie but math never lies, software never wakes up with a cold in the morning, once you nail it the software does what it's supposed to do with 100% predictability and for once...

For once we solved just one of the world's problems. We draw a line in the sand and say "FROM THIS POINT FOREWARD THINGS ARE GONNA START GETTING BETTER NOT WORSE". And that position is absolute. We KNOW we are gonna start making things better. It's what we do.

Project manager's aren't Gods but give us enough time and enough resources we will solve most of the world's problems. We know with absolute certainty if we can get you to FOLLOW THE PROCESS every problem in life no matter how large, we chop into pieces and DESTROY THEM one by one.

The only thing we can't do is make you be us. Only God makes us who we are.

My sweet jelly donuts.

Be brave, be brave, the Myan pilot needs no aeroplane.

Shameless self bump

Why, you might ask, how it is that I have no shame in a self-bump which is in BLATANT CONTRADICTION of the TOS, the Terms Of Service on this site?


Our enterprise doesn't cost you money, we make you money. And we're just really good at what we do.

We know you are good at what you do and that's what gives us the boost in this business.

Do you know how it feels to enable somebody and help make their dreams come true? Like their fondest dreams about who and what they can be?

Know what that feels like?

It feels FANTASTIC in every sense of the word, it feels PHREAKING AWESOME.

Just to be part of that, hey the money is one thing and money is good but making people's dreams come alive?

Truly priceless. No way to describe it. Only way to describe it is watching a garden grow and flourish. It's a miracle every time.

Be brave, be brave, the Myan pilot needs no aeroplane.