Scientists discover affordable replacement for air! Victory against Monsanto!Submitted by Smudge Pot on Mon, 04/01/2013 - 12:12
April 1st 2013
For Immediate Release
Government scientists working at the federal governments highly secretive NASA Ames Research Facility in California's Silicon Valley have announced the creation of an inexpensive and easily manufactured substitute for air in the event that "environmental degradation reaches the point of non-breathability or access to air is transferred to the private sector or perhaps patented".
Speculation has been fueled in part by chemical giant Monsanto Inc. which has recently filed patents saying that the atmosphere presently contains significant components of it's patented products and in their words "basically we own the air you breathe already".
This is hailed by environmental activists as the new air replacement called Nairy (not-airy, TM) is said to smell like pine trees. Elsewhere, poverty advocates like Al Sharpton hailed this as a victory for the poor, saying Nairy will improve lives while creating jobs. "This is the kind of change we've been waiting for from the Obama administration. Finally corporate America is listening" said Sharpton.