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How To Profit From ByteTurds Part 1

The biggest knock against BitCoin is that it represents nothing of value, and since we're creating currency, why would somebody trade something for nothing? Without government force, I wouldn't accept BitCoin in trade nor would I accept Federal Reserve Notes. When asked about BitCoins failings the typical BitConner will tell you about how each digital token is "mined", implying that something of value was created by productive human labor.

That makes about as much sense as saying BitCoins are created each time you brush your teeth in the morning. The rest of us DO appreciate it, but we wouldn't pay you to do it. BitCon is doomed to fail. We all see it coming, and even the most rabid BitConner will tell you: "Watch for BitCoin 2.0!"

So, I thought I'd introduce you to it early. I want you BitConners to stay one step ahead of the rest of the digital currency scammers. Yep. You guessed it. What I'm talking about is the latest monetary innovation that's sure to sweep the nation: ByteTurd!

ByteTurd; think BitCoin, only better.

ByteTurd will use the existing framework created by BitCoins, but instead of pretending value was created by some obscure form of digital "mining"(lol), each digital ByteTurd will be created by actual human labor.

This is how it works:

For every one of my steaming turds an Anarchist eats, I will create one digital ByteTurd (Trademark Pending) and transfer it into their digital wallet.


Think of it as my favor to you as an Anarchist. What this means is that all the newly created money will start its journey in your wallet, and from there, it will circulate around within the free market.

I wouldn't trade anything for a BitCoin, but I would offer you something of value for a ByteTurd. I would know that some Anarchist worked hard for it, and I'd know other people would recognize the value represented by each ByteTurd.

I'd also know that ByteTurds can only be created so fast. Even in my wildest dreams, I could only create about 15 or 20 ByteTurds a day. That means they'll hold their value. It'll be nearly impossible for me to debase the current supply of ByteTurds.

It's simply good monetary policy.

Why bother with Greenbacks and BitCoins when you can have a direct line into the scam? Only an Anarchist can create ByteTurds, and the rest of us will consider an Anarchist eating a turd the 'base value' backing up each ByteTurd in circulation. It's brilliant. Finally! A sound digital monetary system.

Not only that, ByteTurds will be something you can actually hold in your hand. Yep, I said it, REAL MONEY.

Just like with Federal Reserve Notes, ByteTurds will exist in both a purely digital form along with paper notes and exchangeable ByteTurd coins. Each ByteTurd will be represented by a unique and encrypted numerical code which can be transferred digitally from wallet to wallet, or in the case of hard ByteTurd currency, the numerical code will be taken out of digital circulation, and thus only traded by means of hard currency. In essence the hard currency will become that numerical code which represents each individual ByteTurd.

Each ByteTurd dollar and coin will have a mark of authentication which you can scan using a simple Iphone app to check and see if it's a legitimate ByteTurd. Just think of it, a thick stack of ByteTurds you can fan out in your hand. Money money money MONEY: MONEY!

On the face of each Byteturd coin, you'll find a beautifully rendered portrait of an Anarchist spooning excrement into their mouth. You'll find an "A" tattooed on the maniacal Anarchists forehead along with a Guy Fawkes mask pushed back from his face into his disheveled hair.

On the tails side of each coin, you'll find a picture of an American Patriot, wearing a tri-cornered hat, squatting down, and filling a paper plate with fresh ByteTurds.

It's fool proof, and born from something we can all recognize as representing value. So get in early. Get em while they're hot. ByteTurds, for the man who demands their currency represent something of value.

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I'm listening, and I hear you loud and clear.

"A ponzi scheme involves people being told there is an eventual payoff when there isn't enough money to pay everyone. Multiple people are making a future claim to the same money."

Since BitCoin represents nothing of value or any way to create value, any value taken out is at the expense of those who put it in. It is the very definition of a pyramid scheme.

Look at this guy here: "MMJ Ministry". Here we have a BitConman's true nature on display. He actually thinks I'm jealous that he's scamming people.


Do you have any doubt that if I chose to be, I'd be heavily involved with BitCoin and selling people on the scam? I could do a lot better job of selling BitCoin than 99% of these conman. I chose not to, because I have a moral code and integrity to my principles.

I chose not to see you as prey, as something here for me to feed on through a scam. Others here at the Daily Paul see it differently, they see you as chattel here to be fed on through fraud.

That's why I endorse ByteTurd rather than BitCoin. I'd rather have a digital currency backed by something of value; a conman eating turds.

Of course it has value -

Of course it has value - people believe it has value, people are using Bitcoins to purchase gold/silver, electronics, pay for software services, website hosting, etc. Plus it is used to keep money from people wanting to take it like the Greek government. I don't know what you mean, it has no value. Why did people buy it if they thought it had no value?

What you are describing applies to everything. Bitcoin isn't a ponzi, your understanding of ponzi is off a bit.

Is there no limit to a BitConners scumbaggery?

Don't pretend you're doing desperate people any favors by trying to get them to shelter their wealth in a pyramid scam. That's called racketeering. BitCoins are worthless poker chips, and you want Greeks to deposit their money at the window so you can cash out. Getting people to call poker chips money involves getting people to believe they have value.

Is there no limit to a BitConners scumbaggery?

I say no, and that's why I endorse ByteTurd rather than BitCoin. People recognize the value created by a scumbag conman eating turds.

you should call them c0ck

you should call them c0ck turds, cause id much rather see u all eat a c0ck instead.. :)

If there are 8 BitTurds to a ByteTurd,

Then how much Turd can a Coin buy?

I believe in the freedom to be what we choose to be.

A whole bunch I imagine.

I'd trade at least 2 silver eagles for an Anarchist to eat a turd, of course, I'd also want my authentic ByteTurd coin. I could probably trade it for more than that at any Republican or Democrat convention.

Let's just cut that in half and say a ByteTurd is worth 30 FRN's. How many turds can you buy with 30 Federal Reserve Notes?

I suppose you'd need to consult a professional TurdMonger. Ask Chris.

Why anarchist? Why not

Why anarchist? Why not minarchist? Is a little bit of slavery somehow better than none at all?

Simple Facts and Plain Arguments
A common sense take on politics and current events.


Beware the turd-burglars.

They'll slip in the back door, plant a virus, and steal all your buttcoin.

Pandacentricism will be our downfall.

i love byteturds!!!

it's real work to mine them. just like prospectors of days gone by, you have to be willing to get dirty. the satisfaction i get from a long day of mining is second only to the cold beverage that rinses away the remnants of a hard days work.

"The two weakest arguments for any issue on the House floor are moral and constitutional"
Ron Paul

I will compete with you. And I will beat you.

With Buttcoin.

Pandacentricism will be our downfall.

How Buttcoin works

How it works:
-123 million Buttcoins are created and distributed one per U.S. household. Initial value $1.
-Every minute 100 Buttcoin get 'flushed' from the system - destroyed, gone forever.
-As Buttcoin disappear from the network the remaining Buttcoin naturally increase in value.
-The increasing value, coupled with the threat that your Buttcoin may get flushed at any moment, causes people to want to spend their Buttcoin as quickly as possible.
-The rate of Buttcoin destruction decreases proportionately with the number of Buttcoin still in existence until June 17, 2268 when the second-to-last Buttcoin existing will be flushed, leaving just one. As the holder of this final Buttcoin will have wealth enough to own the world they shall be declared 'winner'.

Pandacentricism will be our downfall.


We would constantly be producing more and more ButtCoins, and it's a highly perishable commodity.

Sand would be a better form of money than ButtCoin, or perhaps wheat, or rice, or whatever it was that came before ButtCoin. Food would be a better form of currency than the BMs that followed it.

Although, I must admit, a bowel movement does have more value than "nothing" and using it as currency makes better economic sense than BitCoin, I'm just not sure ButtCoin could compete with the stored value in ByteTurds.

My basic unit of value is created by getting an Anarchist to eat a turd rather than the turd itself.

At least you can fertilize a garden with ButtCoin

At least you can fertilize a garden with ButtCoin, and you can promote the economic growth of pimps and fortune tellers with Blessed Chris Dorner-approved ByotchCoin.

Cain't do sheatt with Bitcoin.

"Cowards & idiots can come along for the ride but they gotta sit in the back seat!"

"My basic unit of value

is created by getting an Anarchist to eat a turd rather than the turd itself."

now i'm a little embarrassed. dammit, another form of currency i don't understand.

"The two weakest arguments for any issue on the House floor are moral and constitutional"
Ron Paul

All you need to know about BitCoin 2.0

All you need to know about BitCoin 2.0 is that Anarchists will be "making money" hand over fist.

here's what i know about bit coin

if someone needs to explain it to me, it's not for me.
my wallet never buffers.

that being said, i'm glad it's out there, i'm glad people are paying attention. i wish the bit coiners the best of luck.

"The two weakest arguments for any issue on the House floor are moral and constitutional"
Ron Paul

All anarchies fail at the moment of the creation of the first


Hey! You can't shit there!

Pandacentricism will be our downfall.

if it's your property

you can revoke my shitting privilege and anarchy remains in tact.
it's when you try to use the power of the state to stop my shitting that anarchy is defeated.

"The two weakest arguments for any issue on the House floor are moral and constitutional"
Ron Paul


That's cool. I love competition in currency.

In fact, neither the creation of ButtCoin or additional ByteTurds will debase the currency what so ever. Each one created will simply add more value to that which already exists.

It's like putting another bar of gold into the vault.