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Daily World News Volume 1

Welcome to the premiere edition of Daily World News.

In the spotlight today, Smudge Pot confessed to being a gladiator and comedian in a previous life. As an early Christian he had the ability to make both the lions and audience laugh so hard that in the chaos he could switch places with a member of the audience. Unfortunate for the poor soul chosen for the ol switcheroo but he did get a chance to Plebe for his life prior to becoming 1st century meow mix.

John Calvin Coolidge, Jr was caught yet again attempting to hack into Katniss Everdeen's webcam via the CIA control center in Denver. CIA agent and DP infiltrator Bill3 identified the suspicious activity when the attempted passwords were observed as being the phrases "anna you are an angel" and "sthu 12th" repeatedly. He will be brought before Pope Sophron for sentencing as soon as he returns from his mountain hideaway.

Bitcoin mogul LunaTech has completed his 5th visit to the International Space Station and will soon visit the moon. When asked why he denied NewtLobbyRich's request to join him, he was quoted as saying "you know how much fuel that would take? nobody is THAT rich"