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Bill To Regulate Pressure Cookers Gaining Steam

A bipartisan bill introduced on Monday will require background checks for pressure cooker sales and set limits on sales of nails and ball bearings.

House Bill 10-289, the 'Pressure Cooker Prevention of Crime and Protection of Children Act of 2013' (PCPCPCA) has already gained 391 sponsors spanning both of the two sides of the political spectrum, the Democrats and the Republicans.

However, despite the tragedy of April 15 in Boston, which killed three people including an innocent child, and injured hundreds including probably at least two dozen innocent, sweet little children, some politicians are actually opposing it.

"I know it's a cliche, but I'm gonna say it again - if pressure cookers are outlawed, then only outlaws will have pressure cookers" said Senator Rand Paul, a noted rabble-rouser and suspected right-wing Republican.

Other voices in Washington were more reasonable.

"I appreciate pressure cookers and respect the American pressure cooker culture" said Congressman Jack Slipjaw (D-South Dakota) "but the simple fact remains: nobody needs more than one pressure cooker, and nobody but a bloodthirsty terrorist needs one with greater than a 6-inch diameter. Background checks and a waiting period will save countless lives in the future, many of them innocent small beautiful children lives, like that one that was killed in Boston."

"The language in the bill is too vague" opined Rep. Randy Rootentooter (R-Hawaii). "A 5-day waiting period for 6-inch wide pressure cookers, but a 7-day period for cookers 8 1/4 inches wide or greater? These designations are arbitrary, and discussing them is just arguing semantics. Semantics with numbers instead of words."

A rider on page 391 of the bill concerning the purchase of nails and ball bearings is also drawing criticism. Senator Sassy Grassstain, another Republican politician from Alabama or Louisiana, may actually have her head screwed on straight. "We have taken many factors into consideration while considering the factors for sales of nails and ball-bearings, and have come to the logical conclusion that nails shorter than one inch cannot pierce vital organs and therefore will be allowed for sale without a nail-owner's permit. Anything longer than that is a deadly weapon or at least a dangerous one if used by an unqualified person to do home repairs that should only be tackled by a professional.

"Furthermore," he/she stated, "all purchases of ball bearings should be immediately eyed with suspicion. Think about it. When is the last time you've needed a box of ball bearings? Clearly only machine shops and terrorists need a whole box of deadly ball bearings."

The bill is expected to pass the Senate and be signed into law on Tuesday.

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next it will be toasters...

just you watch.

Daily Paul cured my abibliophobia.

People pushing this bill are

People pushing this bill are mentally retarded and should be committed to a mental institution. It's a kitchen utensil! Knives are kitchen utensils and kill thousands of times more people than pressure cookers. Are we going put restrictions on butcher knives next?

i know right?

and I'm like - totally?

Daily Paul cured my abibliophobia.

Congress will never make the hard decision to keep us safe...

unless the young people of this nation stand up and say, "I am afraid of pressure cookers! And I want the government to take them away now!!!"


Daily Paul cured my abibliophobia.

Ban Back Packs

I can't believe that no one came up with the optimum solution. Its actually back packs that are the real danger.

No one can carry a pressure canner in their pocket.


Now real-life Senators are suggesting pressure cooker controls

as a joke, but still...


Daily Paul cured my abibliophobia.

"gaining steam" lol

"gaining steam" lol

"Cooling off" period

It makes perfect sense that before someone is allowed to buy a pressure cooker that there is a "cooling off" period. And, of course, all nails, ball bearings and BBs have serial numbers inscribed on them for bomb tracing.

No King but Jesus, no President but Ron Paul

This would kills two birds at once! The empowerment of

terrorist bomb builders to build pressurized bombs and also terrorist organic gardeners ability to preserve their un-sanctioned food substances. This bill has been co-sponcered by Monsanto for the protection of the children and future generations.

"A vote for the lesser of two evils is a vote to keep things the same", Buckminster Fuller..
A choice for liberty is always a choice for liberty.

My WallyWorld

My Wally World is completely out, and they say none are in the pipeline.
Somebody is "stockpilling" the crap out of them.
First Ammo, Now Pressure Cookers....
Geez, when will this stop?
Let's hope this Bill "peters out" before it gets to Senator Graham.
What's next?

lol nice.

/sarcasm on

Causality. You can't just blame the pressure cooker... We would still have our own two hands. If we ALL cut off our hands there won't be any more injustice. Viola, problem solved!!!

/sarcasm off

In my book, the people who blame injustice on guns and pressure cookers are no better than those who try and blame government.

Wasn't there a Simpsons episode about this? The whole world is united in peace and decides to get rid of all their weapons, but two aliens show up and take over. The aliens only weapon is a broken board with a nail through it. lol.

Pressure cookers on another note.......

Pressure cookers were yesterdays microwave ovens. If your not using one, get one and learn how to use it. If for anything, they can cook your food in a fraction of the time of the standard stove top method saving you time and money.

Works great for canning and softening tough foods (dried beans, meats, etc) also. They really are a very important tool for the survival chest.

Because: Some animals are more equal than other animals. -Animal Farm- What the? > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MTIwY3_-ks
Strike The Root: There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root.

The only difference between pressure cookers and guns...

3 vs 3,000. The number of people killed this year respectively.

Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.
John Adams

I don't get why your comment got down-votes...

Maybe if you'd used the word 'primary' instead of 'only'...

Daily Paul cured my abibliophobia.

When it comes to Congress.....

I can't tell the difference between humor & actual events.

This was a great comment by CarrotTop:

Submitted by CarrotTop on Wed, 04/17/2013
Maybe my pressure cooker will
have to be registered with the Federal Pressure Cooker Registry. If they don't get banned outright, the 30 cup size will probably be illegal. Nobody needs one that's over 10 cups, well, really, nobody could possibly need more than 7.

More than likely, I will have to lobby to have my old pressure cooker grandfathered in, but I might end up not being able to transfer it. Like Mayor Bloomberg said, "If you sold your pressure cooker to your daughter, you have a problem in your family, pal"

Love Carrottop. It was inevitable someone would discover

this ripe breeding ground for jokes. I was just trying to be the first...


Daily Paul cured my abibliophobia.

This subject is so near and

This subject is so near and dear to my heart that I didn't even notice it was satire. I have a garden to put away in the fall and I have to have my canners.

"Pressure cookers don't kill people....

only people kill people." Wise potter.

"Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is argument of tyrants. It is the creed of slaves." William Pitt in the House of Commons November 18, 1783
"I know major allies who fund them" Gen. Dempsey referring to ISIS

No dude, seriously, stop giving them ideas!

Apparently Williams-Sonoma has been reading your thread!

OMG, some people are truly ridiculous:

Apparently Williams-Sonoma has been reading Chris Cudnoski's satire thread: Bill to Regulate Pressure Cookers Gaining Steam and truly took it to heart, and decided to preempt Congress.

Ban Pressure Cookers!

Posted on April 23, 2013 by Robert Farago

Silly idea I know. And yet . . . “Williams-Sonoma, the specialty retailer of home furnishings and gourmet cookware with over 250 stores in the United States, has pulled pressure cookers from their shelves following the Boston Marathon bombing,” dedhampatch.com reports. ”It’s a temporary thing out of respect,” according to “Kent” the Store Manager at Williams-Sonoma in the Natick Mall.

How the hell did America become a nation of wussies??

Williams-Sonoma Pulls Pressure Cookers Off Shelves in Massachusetts

Following the Boston Marathon bombing last Monday in which pressure cookers were used for the explosion, the cookware giant has decided to temporarily stop selling the items in their Massachusetts stores.

By Robert Rosen
April 22, 2013

OUTSIDE BOSTON, MA -- Williams-Sonoma, the specialty retailer of home furnishings and gourmet cookware with over 250 stores in the United States, has pulled pressure cookers from their shelves following the Boston Marathon bombing.

"It's a temporary thing out of respect," said Kent, who is the Store Manager of the Williams-Sonoma at the Natick Mall. He referred Patch to corporate for further questions.

Pressure cookers will still be available on the Williams-Sonoma website.

Seriously, WTFcukity F F F??

Predictions in due Time...

"Let it not be said that no one cared, that no one objected once it's realized that our liberties and wealth are in jeopardy." - Dr. Ronald Ernest Paul

Great piece of writing.

You may want to mention that a "buy back" program is also being considered.

So when is the nanny state

So when is the nanny state going to outlaw microwave ovens? I've heard of atrocious crimes being committed with those. And don't they have some kind of radioactive components and dangerous parts that can electrocute a person even unplugged? Gotta' ban or regulate those too!

Not to Mention, the Genetic Mutation

...that is effected when, while warming a croissant in the microwave, a fly inadvertently entered before I closed the door and pushed the start button!

We all saw what happened to Jeff Goldblum.

Microwavers be warned!

"Beyond the blackened skyline, beyond the smoky rain, dreams never turned to ashes up until.........
...Everything CHANGED !!

How about these idiots just

How about these idiots just regulate or ban anything that can be transformed into a weapon of some kind. Let's the blame the guns, not the criminals. Let's blame the pressure cookers, not the criminals! I am convinced more than ever now that Congress is full with stupid a@@ idiots and I don't get upset very often!

You have got to be kidding

You have got to be kidding me!! Welcome to the freaking nanny state! I grow a garden and have several sizes of pressure cookers for different jar sizes. Are they out of their minds? They don't even know anything about pressure canning and cooking seems like. What about those people who homestead and have to have pressure canners for the same purpose I do? With gas as high as it is, they probably don't want to drive long distances just to pick up some canned vegetables when they can put it away themselves. This is insane!

an injustice to a pressure cooker anywhere, is an injustice to

pressure cookers everywhere!

DUDE! Why did you have to give them ideas!!!


oy vey, truthfully, I really wish we lived in a world, where that was not even in the realm of possibilities, but considering the fact that those controlfreak buffoons in UK are willing to regulate sharp kitchen knives, I really wouldn't give them any ideas.

lol...er...er...eh .o(

And this is the BBC, the state organ, reporting it, not the Mirror. And, who's the moron guild of douchebags calling for this legislative idiocy? The 'educated' DOCTORS: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/4581871.stm

But, you know what, I know exactly whom to blame, when I can't get my pressure cooker, dang it!

You buddy, yes you, Pol Pot! Hey didn't they blame you for something else in Cambodia? Now you want to add pressure cooker ban to your list of crimes?

How dare you!

an injustice to a pressure cooker anywhere, is an injustice to pressure cookers everywhere!

LOLOLOL...er...er...eh .o(

Predictions in due Time...

"Let it not be said that no one cared, that no one objected once it's realized that our liberties and wealth are in jeopardy." - Dr. Ronald Ernest Paul

OMG...I'm totally going to be in trouble

I own 4 Pressure canners and one of them is a double decker.
And I can't tell you how many nuts and bolt and screws my husband has laying around his shop. He looses a few more screws every year.

Oh, I would be to because I

Oh, I would be to because I do a lot of food canning after garden time. I have a big one to fit my quart jars in. This is absolutely nuts! I was joking about this the other day about outlawing pressure canners. This is really upsetting. My dad was a cook and taught me how to use them safely and properly and I need them for my food preserving. I'm not a happy camper right now! It's just like guns! Blame the guns, not the criminals. Blame the pressure cookers, not the criminals. If they keep this up, they'll ban everything that can be magically transformed into a weapon of some kind. How about blades of grass? They're sharp! Let's regulate it too!

I think this is a joke

At least I hope so...because if not I'm totally screwed.

My double decker canner will can 1/2 gallon jars but I only have a few of those jars..darn things are hard to find.