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Gay man comes out and admits he plays in the NBA, world gasps

From Reuters

A local gay man, Bryan Morris, who lived an apparently normal life came out today to the media that he has been playing professional basketball for the NBA since he left his alma mater of Pennsylvania by the Lake University. Reporters were live on the scene for the announcement and quoted Bryan:

" I no longer wanted to live a life of fear. I know playing for the NBA and David Stern is not a popular or well looked upon career choice. But I am no longer afraid to hide my double life I have been leading. It is the playoffs after all. I am coming out of the closet, that I play in the NBA! I am proud to say that.

We asked Bryan's neighbor on his opinion of people who play in the NBA and have not come out yet and if his opinion of Bryan changed.

That guy is in the NBA? My God I will never speak to him again. I thought for all this time he was a decent person, but dang, he plays in the NBA? I think seriously our friendship is in jeopardy now. What kind of sick person would forgo attending an actual institution of learning to touch ball with a bunch of other men? It is like he was intentionally waiting to break this news at a certain time, like a bread and circuses thing, yeah. People with real jobs will never talk to him again, I bet."

Bryan is scheduled to appear on ABC, Good Morning Amurica, Host SNL and an interview with Charlie Rose and Barbara Walters. The Whitehouse responded to this earth shattering announcement saying, ".. it is great that people are unafraid of saying they play in the NBA. It detracts those less fortunate from actually following the paper trail which can lead to premature death by asking foolish questions like, where has the gold gone?". The DOW Jones rose 200 pts on the news.

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