Need an Opinion PleaseSubmitted by GiveMeLiberty on Sun, 05/12/2013 - 08:16
A friend and I are having a disagreement on something I think is fairly important.
A friend of mine is a single parent of a 16 year old boy who is on the spring track team. Yesterday, he decided he was too tired to get out of bed and attend the track invitational his team was participating in.
My friend purposely got up on a Saturday morning around 7AM-ish to take him to the school where the team was meeting to get on the bus. She couldn't get her son out of bed...said he didn't want to go because he was too tired.
Now, he was not sick, was feeling fine. Was not sick during the week. Was not up late the night before (he was home).
So what does she do? She lets him continue to sleep to 11:30AM.
I said to her if he made a commitment to a team that he should go whether he wanted to or not. If he were my child, of course I wouldn't physically force him to go but I sure as hell would not let him sleep late either as a reward for not going, especially if I had to purposely get up early to take him there. I would have made him get up and do something productive around the house or homework.
I told her all she did was reward him for his actions by letting him sleep as late as he wanted (after all, that was his goal), and she was sending the message that it is okay to be lazy and not live up to his responsibilities and commitment to the team.
She agreed with the commitment part but she said that she didn't see anything wrong with letting him sleep so late, and he would be punished in other ways like finding his own transportation to places he wanted to go in the future (I don't really view this as a punishment), and doing extra chores around the house. She also said that had she forced him up early, he would have been "grumpy" all day. But her way, at least he was pleasant without incident. I said that is just too bad if he would have been grumpy, he should get up.
Just a side note, I personally think it is a waste of day to let a kid sleep that late anyway, especially for no reason.
Just so you all know...he is a pretty good kid. Doesn't drink, smoke, is fairly responsible, has good grades, and is not a trouble maker.
So how would my fellow DP'ers handle this and what do you think of the way she is handling it?